#I just think there's different qualities to the 'What

[shomatoriashi]

01/03/25; 10:00pm

{ drabbles / headcanons }

[ when they realize that you’re the true mc from behind the screen ]

featuring: sylus, zayne, xavier, rafayel

notes: this is just my own take on the self aware au! i know other creators who’ve written their own self aware au’s (and have executed them amazingly well!), but i hope that you readers will give my story a chance, too ♡

you never understood the hype that surrounded the game known as love and deepspace-

however, the moment sylus was announced as the newest love interest for this game-

to say you were mildly interested would have been the greatest understatement of the century. when his trailer was revealed, you swore you felt your knees clash together while basking in his pure, masculine beauty.

and his voice- dear god did it sound like pure silk against your ears!

needless to say, you downloaded lads the moment sylus dropped as the latest love interest. when you made your mc, you did your best to model her after your own appearance to the best of your abilities-

however, it seemed impossible to do.

the mc was just too petite and perfect, something that you could never achieve in real life. yet despite it all, you tried your best to customize her to match your features before starting the game. as you struggled with the missions in the main story, you were essentially grinding until the moment you could unlock sylus's story branch-

and the moment when you accomplished it, you were truly on cloud 9, taking an ungodly amount of screenshots each time sylus was on your phone's screen. you kept interacting with him in game, raising his affinity with you to level 50 in a mere few weeks.

it was embarrassing how much you adored this gorgeous man made up entirely of pixels. you always spent quality time with him, bringing him with you when you worked or had to study for an upcoming exam. each time you would glance at your phone and see his devastatingly handsome features cleaning his gun, you would grin and press a kiss on your screen (directly over his cheek!)

were you shameless for feeling so deeply about a fictional man-

absolutely yes. but did you care?

no.

after kissing sylus for what had to be the thousandth time that day, you would go back to your responsibilities, unaware that sylus could hear you and feel the sensation of your kisses against his cheek.

at first, it was maddening for sylus to realize that everything he's been through was made up by some writers at a company. every tragedy was forced upon him for the sake of a good story-

and he hated it.

he hated how his every word was essentially a script made up by that same company and how he was forced to interact with an mc that was just the same as the rest-

yet the moment he realized he could see you settled behind that woman's avatar-

sylus was intrigued, to say the least.

despite how you looked drastically different from the mc, something about you drew him to you more than the mc ever could. for starters, you were a true, living person who had a personality.

and you just seemed so alive each time sylus saw you. the more time he had spent with you, the more his feelings of curiosity turned into something tangible and real-

making sylus yearn for the day you would recognize him noticing you. he stops cleaning his gun just then, simply keeping his crimson gaze on your form as you wrote in your notebook. the hours continue to pass, yet sylus allows the quality time feature to go on even past the 30 minute mark, not stopping until you were done.

as your eyes go back to your phone, you were ready to quit the session when sylus purposely stops you, "no kiss this time? you wound me, little dove."

he basks in your wide eyed expression and the way your mouth was wide open in a gape, chuckling as you waved your hand over the screen-

and sylus was following your every movement.

"you can see me?"

"i think we've made that abundantly clear just now, little dove." he shakes his head, feeling his world tilt slightly when you pick up your phone.

"y-you just spoke to me, and i- i'm your little dove?" a dreamy expression crosses your features as you kept your gaze on sylus. he gives you a rare, tiny smile while reaffirming his nickname for you with a nod, "of course you are. you have always been my little dove since the moment i laid eyes on you."

a cute sound escapes from your parted lips, and he felt himself being jostled around when you began to spin while holding your phone. with his eyebrows lifted in response, he calls out your name while telling you, "you don't seem to be as panicked as i imagined."

"are you kidding me? i-" you cough and give him a sheepish expression, "i actually love you so much, and despite the weirdness of this all, i'm strangely happy."

your words succeed in making sylus feel warm inside-

and he knew he had to find a way to be with you soon.

zayne has always been aware of your existence, since you were a longtime player of his game and have spent most of your time together with him.

strangely enough, he took pride in having the highest affinity with you-

yet when you obtained any of the other love interest's memories, or spent some time with them-

a wave of jealousy would course through zayne's veins. he knew that he was programmed to always feel happy with whatever man you chose-

but he couldn't bring himself to let you go. after all, zayne knew that he loved you the most out of all of them.

he was the one who held your health and wellbeing above all else (even ignoring his own desires to see you during his quality time sessions with you.)

while working on his laptop at the cafe, he was aware of how late it was and was hoping that you were already safe and sound in bed-

so imagine his surprise when he sees you logging into the game, greeting him with a tired smile on your face as you opened up the quality time menu with him.

"hey zaynie, i know it's late, but i need to get these assignments done just to stay ahead. i couldn't find the time to do them earlier, so that's why i'm here."

admittedly, zayne could feel a shiver of pleasure each time you spoke to him, allowing him to bask in the sound of your voice-

yet more so than that was how concerned he was that you wanted to do your assignments at such an ungodly hour. as you pressed on the quality time session, zayne would immediately cancel it. confusion was etched onto your features, making you try again-

only to have zayne cancel the session once more.

"what the hell is going on?"

unable to hide the fact that he could respond to you (and not wishing to ignore you any longer) zayne takes a chance and speaks to you.

"it's too late for you to be studying. you should be in bed, ready to sleep."

your eyebrows furrow in response to his words, uncertain if this was part of his script (it wasn't). unable to stop, zayne continues to lightly scold you, "humans need at least 8 hours of sleep, and i know that you've barely gotten 5 hours the past few days."

"oh my god, what?!" he watches as you pick up your phone, meeting his gaze as an incredulous expression was seen on your face. "zaynie, are you talking to me?"

zayne was conflicted now, pulling at the collar of his shirt before clearing his throat, wanting to be honest with you, "yes... i am talking to you, and if you cared for me and my feelings at all, you would go to bed and work on your assignments in the morning, once you're fully rested."

it takes you a moment to take this all in.

from zayne meeting your gaze and scolding you because he was concerned about your health-

it honestly felt like such a dream come true.

your features end up breaking out into a kind smile, and zayne could feel a blush creeping up against his cheek when you nuzzle your face closer to your phone, "okay zaynie, i'll go to sleep."

cradling the phone close to your chest, you let out a hum while slowly getting into bed. once you were settled in bed, you held up your phone to see zayne looking back at you. he smiles at you, "good girl, now close your eyes and sleep."

he watches as you purse your lips before asking him, "will you stay with me, zayne?"

smiling at your request, he gives you a nod, "of course. i'm not going anywhere." he watches you once more as you cuddle into your comforter, closing your eyes while setting your phone close to you.

and as your breathing evens out, (turning softer), zayne whispers your name, filled with longing and love for you alone.

you had to be experiencing the worst cold of your life as you were settled in bed with your phone in hand, playing love and deepspace as you did some missions with xavier, your true love interest for the game.

in the middle of your battle, you let out a particularly loud sneeze, wiping the snot away from your nose while blowing into a tissue when a tiny voice was heard saying "bless you."

after blowing your nose, you said 'thank you' in response-

only to do a double take.

who just said bless you?

you take a quick scan around your room, coughing here and there-

only to realize that there was no one in sight.

you hear the voice again, this time saying your name as you realized that it sounded familiar to you. looking back at your phone, you saw xavier had already taken out the enemy and was looking directly at you.

you swallow thickly, your voice shaky when you began to speak,

"xavier?"

"yes."

"you can hear me?"

"i was able to hear you since day 1, and you chose to stick with me." xavier was practically grinning now, appearing smug while folding his arms across his chest.

by now, you were feeling dizzy as you slowly sit up in bed, feeling almost feverish while looking into xavier's gorgeous, true blue eyes. xavier has been aware of your presence this whole time-

and that fact was enough to make a surge of warmth course through you.

"you... you have always been able to see me?" you ask xavier in a shy voice, earning an earnest nod from him, "yes, and..." he trails off while pressing a hand against your screen, "i'm sorry that i'm unable to take care of you when you're feeling so sick."

"n-no! don't worry about it... i'm just happy that you're here... with me."

a sweet smile paints xavier's expression, coupled along with a gentle chuckle. "i'm happy to be with you, too. and i'm happy that you chose me over them."

realizing what xavier meant, you gave him the best smile you could manage while wiping at your nose with a new tissue, "i will always choose you, xavi."

hearing your admission causes a surge of possessiveness to course through xavier's veins. and while you smiled back at him, the philos prince was thinking of ways to forever keep your smiles for himself.

feeling the need to clean your house and do some chores around it, you decide to spend some quality time with rafayel, the hot lemurian you fell in love with ever since you began playing love and deepspace. with his pretty, pouty face on your screen, you began cleaning, moving around your kitchen and living room while wiping down each surface you could see.

you spent a few hours cleaning, with rafayel seeming to sketch during his quality time session with you, which felt odd. usually, after 30 minutes, the game would notify you, asking if you'd like to continue the session as you confirmed it-

yet now, that didn't seem to happen.

you saw no notification-

and rafayel was still sketching on your screen.

with a shrug, you figured the game probably updated and added this new feature, where you didn't have to constantly renew the 30 minutes during your quality time with rafayel. feeling thirsty now, you pick up your phone and head into the kitchen, setting your phone on the counter as you went into the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

"hey princess! where did you go?! i can't see you!"

you nearly dropped your water bottle in response, hearing rafayel's voice coming from your phone. "come on princess, don't leave me hanging, where are you?"

was this a new script?

closing your fridge, you step closer to your phone, seeing rafayel's pout. picking it up, allowing rafayel to finally see you, he was smiling now while winking at you. "there you are, princess! are you done doing all that work?"

words were unable to form as you were left gaping at him, making the artist chuckle while shaking his head, "you look like a goldfish, which is pretty cute! oh, before i forget!"

rafayel pulls back, revealing his sketchbook to you. your heart was felt clenching slightly before racing upon realizing every sketch was about you-

not your mc in game.

the realization of it all had you reeling, with your hands gripping at your counter when you addressed rafayel. "rafe, you can see me?"

"of course i can, always have been able to, princess." he has the audacity to make your heart flutter the moment he gives you another wink. "and let me just say, i've been loving what i've been seeing so far, princess."

by now, you felt like you were on the verge of collapsing, unable to hide your grin as you cling to your phone all while basking in rafayel's flirty and playful words-

yet little did you know, somewhere along the way, rafayel had genuinely fallen head over heels for you, keeping each painting and sculpture he had made of you hidden so that you would never know-

at least, not yet.

end notes: i'm so happy to write a story like this, where all the lads men truly are so META and wish to be with YOU-

and not the mc (⺣◡⺣)♡

this is currently unedited, but i shall make any changes the moment this story is posted!

all stories are written by rei; please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works!!

[jarenka]

tags by @gffa

(sorry for using your tags for that rant about translations, don't feel yourself obligated to answer or something like that)

I don't want to disappoint you, but there are many edits in English translation of The Three-Body problem. I assume you can learn more about them here (I don't have access to an article itself) and also here Ken Liu says that he updated some outdated info. I don't think it's bad itself if done in a tandem with an author, but original and the translation will feel different. The Chinese reader would say that The Three-Body Problem has a natural prose flow, sexist language and uses outdated info from 2006, the English reader would say that The Three-Body Problem has unusual prose (honestly, I don't know, my knowledge of English is not enough to make judgments about qualities of the prose), no sexist language and uses info from 2014.

For me this approach that it's ok to edit the content of the book but the reader should feel that they read a translated book feels very performative to me. Honestly my first thought after reading this post and various tags was "Yes, guys, only 3% of your book market is translated literature, so you want to feel really special while reading Exotic Foreign Literature". But also, what kind of "rhythm of another language" you all are taking about? It's not that I don't know any other languages other than my own (I write this in a foreign language), but there is no specific "rhythm of the X language", literature in any language is very diverse in rhythm and style. Do you feel like Dickens, Sara J. Maas and Hemingway have the same rhythm and cadence because they all write and English? Transporting the style of the prose into another language is a very tricky thing. Ironically, I know one Russian translation that spectacularly failed at it. The Catcher in The Rye was translated in English in USSR and unfortunately was censored, so in 2008 another translator attempted to translate it, and this translation was... controversial. Imo, it was just absolutely horrendous in its tone and style. It sounds like an attempt of a middle aged Russian dude who has never spoke with a teenager in their life to write from POV of the edgy teenager.

Yes, literary translation is a big can of worms, and every translator choses between different strategies of translation what book and for which audience they translate. And some things are untranslatable at all.

For example, regional dialects. For example, German and (British) English has super distinct regional dialects, so people in different cities in Germany and Britain speak very differently, people in different cities of Russia speaks almost identically with very minor quirks in some regions. There are more difference between Russian speakers in rural areas, but even of we use these differences German guy from Bavaria speaks like a guy from the village near Tver. Cockney dialect is absolutely untranslatable to Russian.

Same goes to some artistic effects. The beginning of the War and Peace novel is (in)famous for dialogues in French. They amplify for Russian readers how actually common for Russian aristocracy to speak in French. But when you translate it into French, what are you going to do with them?

(I mean yes, you won't translate it, but the artistic purpose of these paragraphs is lost in French translation)

The same with Russian translation of A Clockwork Orange. It has slang in Russian that is supposed to alienate the reader, but in Russian translation they are just Russian words written in Latin alphabet, and they are completely understandable for Russian readers.

Some jokes are untranslatable. Some set expressions might have significance for the plot/dialogue, so translator need to use a footnote to explain this nuance for the reader.

Anyway as someone who read majority of books and translation (which is normal for avid Russian-speaker reader) and specifically goes out their way to read mystery/thriller and literary fiction translated from different languages, I feel like linguistic aspects of foreign literature is just a miniscule point of my interest. Yes, I find out about Finnish slang word for lesbian, but overall it's more interesting to see what people in other countries are writing about. Of course my experience is severely skewed by the fact that book should be translated into Russian for me to read it, but they are still books that are written for an audience in another country and about things that are interesting and important for them. For example last year I've read three books by French writers of African decent, all with different plots but with similar themes of French colonialism and relationships between France and its (former) colonies. I just don't think that you would be ever able to read from this perspective if you don't read in French or you don't read books translated from French.

"The best translations into English do not, in fact, read as if they were originally written in English. The English words are arranged in such a way that the reader sees a glimpse of another culture’s patterns of thinking, hears an echo of another language’s rhythms and cadences, and feels a tremor of another people’s gestures and movements."

— Ken Liu, Translator’s Postface to The Three-Body Problem

[crystallilytarot]

Couple aesthetic with your future spouse /partner

Pile 1 - bird statue

Rich, wealthy couple vibes somehow, but not like formal or business clothes. I feel good quality stuff, especially accesories. But something very unique too, these clothes are not from a regular shop. Unique patterns, funny quotes, maybe unique hairstyle too, a little bit hippy, but I feel goath, tattoos, black leather too. You aren't afraid to express yourself. You can be part of some subculture too.

Pile 2 - napkin holder

You can be from different backgrounds or you both traveled a lot. You can wear some regular clothes, but the accesories can be unique, like from a different country you went together. One person is a little bit more a business man/woman type, the other can like something sexy, or more likely sensual, something that show their body nicely. But you probably don't care much about clothes, as long as they are comfortable.

Pile 3 - flowers made from soap

One person is a little sunshine, romantic, this can show on the clothes too, the other is a little more reserved. I think it's more about the vibe, not just what you wear. Opposite attract, pink and black, a goath person with a ballet dancer, cutie and a rockstar. Probably an introvert and an extrovert. People can be surprised when first saw you two, but the relationship work perfectly, like Yin and Yang.

[yamumsyadadd]

change

Part of the Mariquita universe. Others can be found here:

mariquita , mami and mama, accident, different

Talks of adoption trauma, birth, anxiety. Little over 6k.

There was a weird energy around the apartment, it was hard for you to pinpoint exactly what it was. 

After the suspension from school and then removal and enrolment into the new school, you thought you’d be grounded. No tv, no iPad, no fun. But that wasn’t the case at all. Besides going shopping for a new school uniform, no one said anything about it. 

During Christmas dinner, your Abuela seemed to be stuck to you like glue. Whenever you went, she went. If you wanted a drink, she was up before you finished the sentence. Constantly filling your plate up with food to the point where you felt sick. When you finally got home, you asked your Mami about it. 

“Is abuela dying?” 

“Que? Why would you say that?” 

“She wouldn’t leave me alone. stuck to me like a baby.” At the word baby, both Olga and Alexia tensed. They were keeping a secret, a big secret that would change the way everything was. 

“I think she’s just sad you’re growing up. You used to be so little and cute.” Your Mami pinched your cheeks affectionately. 

“Maybe you should have another baby so she can annoy it.” The air in the room changed again, but you were either blissfully unaware or just didn’t care. 

“Right, it’s late, you should go to sleep. We have a busy few days!” Your Mami all but shoved you down the hallway. Turning back to Olga and waiting until the cost was clear, “this is going to be harder then I thought.” 

“we could just tell her amor. I think she’ll be happy.” 

“A few more days okay? We’ll go away, just the three of us, spend some quality time together and then we can tell her in the new year.” 

The break between Christmas and new year, have your family some much needed rest. La Molina ski resort was only two hours from Barcelona. It was far enough away to feel like a proper holiday but close enough that if needed, your family could return quickly. 

The hotel room was big enough to fit you, your Mami, abuela and tia alba if they were invited. There were two beds in your room, secretly deciding to sleep in both just because you could. 

Neither your Mami or Olga joined you for skiing, which wasn’t necessarily out of the ordinary, the last time you went to the snow, only Olga joined and she wasn’t very good so since then she has watched. Ice skating however, that’s something you’d do, the three of you, at the Christmas markets in Mollet, sometimes tia alba would join but she was even worse at ice skating then Olga was at skiing. 

You were sent to join the kids club for a few hours while Olga and your Mami relax, alexia insisted, stating it would be good for you to make new friends, as if you wouldn’t have to spend the rest of the school year making new friends. 

Skiing was fun, freeing. You suppose it’s how your Mami nd mama feel when they play football or how Olga feels when she’s on a plane to a different city. You like skiing, more than you’ve ever liked football, but it was a winter sport and it’s didn’t usually snow cold to Barcelona so it’s just a holiday sport to you. 

For a few hours you were gone, Mami and Olga were relaxing, brain storming ideas on how to tell you the big news. Well, the two big events that were going to be happening. They decided that after lunch was the best time to do so. 

“Marquita, we need to talk to you about something.” It was Olga who spoke, wiping her hands on the paper towel. 

“Am I in trouble?”

“No Bebé! Not at all. We are moving.”

“What? Where?” 

“Sant Just Desvern. Into a house, one with more bedrooms, a backyard. Closer to your new school and to the Joan.” 

“Oh. Am I, am I coming too?” If alexia wasn’t so wrapped up in all the big changes that were about to happen she would’ve realised the extent of the question. 

“OF course you are Mari! You get first pick on what bedroom you want, and we will go shopping for however you want to decorate it.” 

It went silent after that. There was still  trauma and anxiety about what happened to you before alexia and Jenni adopted you. Sometimes, it would creep up. Usually you did a good job of communicating it, either with your Mami and mama or with Tia Maria or Alba, even abuela. But this felt too big, too scary. 

For the last eight years, that apartment had been your home. It’s where Alexia and Jenni bought you home too, it’s where Nala lived, where mama lived and now, now you were moving into a new house that Nala never lived in and Mama wouldn’t be. 

The next three days flew by, you do more skiing, ice skating, sledding, all alone. You didn’t know the reason behind your Mami not letting Olga join, you knew your Mami wouldn’t go ice skating but she did join the sledding. If either woman had slowed down they would’ve realised that you were pulling away. 

When you arrived back to Barcelona on New Year’s Eve, your Mami told you there would be another present for you to open with your abuela and tia. You were slightly confused, having already gotten everything on your Wishlist. So as you sat there on the couch, your abuela and tia next to you, Olga and your Mami in front with three boxes on your laps, you were still confused as to what it could be. 

You opened it when they said you could, inside the box it contained 3 things. A photo of an ultrasound (which you didn’t understand), a baby jersey with ‘Putellas 11’ on the back and a shirt that said ‘world’s best big sister’. But you completely missed the shirt. Your Mami had put the shirt in the box the wrong way around.

It took a moment for everything to understand and then the chaos unfolded. Abuela and tia alba were crying, hugging both Olga and your Mami while you just sat there. 

“Mariquita? Do you understand?” Your Mami asked as she sat in front of you. 

In your mind, the blob was cancer, the jersey was confusing though. “Olga has cancer? Why are we celebrating that? How will I be a big sister if Olga has-“ it clicked in your brain, the blob wasn’t cancer it was a baby, “oh. Not cancer, a baby.” 

“Yes a baby.” Your Mami chuckled, “we are having a baby and you’ll be a big sister.” 

“Cool.” You gave a thumbs up towards Olga, unsure of what else to do. 

“Cool? That’s it?” 

“What else am I meant to say? Good luck?” 

“Jeez ale, she really is your daughter.” Alba laughed, ruffling your hair. It was no secret alexia was awkward and it seems you truly inherited that trait. 

Both Olga and alexia sat down on the couch next to you, Eli snapping a photo of the three of you. Your mind was full of anxiety. Anxiety about moving house, about the new school and needing to make new friends but mostly about the baby. 

As you lay in bed, the clock on your bedside table illuminating 3.13am, you couldn’t stop the tears from falling. The last time a baby was on the way was when you were in your last foster home, they were meant to adopt you, citing that they couldn’t have kids. Then they fell pregnant, cancelling the adoption and sending you back. You were only four then but it filled you with doubt. Would your Mami and Olga send you away too? Would you go to mamas or back into a foster home? 

Those thoughts consumed you for months. When you finally moved into the new house, you picked the room the furthest from your Mami and Olga’s room. You turned extra quiet. In your mind, if you were quiet then they would forget you were there. They wouldn’t send you away because they wouldn’t remember you were there. 

It back fired though, of course it did. Mama was coming to Madrid for Easter, your Mami agreed that you would go to Madrid and spend a few days with her then come back home and do Easter with the Putellas-Rios family. 

For four days you forgot about the impending doom that was waiting for you at home. For four days your mama and her family treated you like a princess, spoiling you and reminding you of how loved you were. 

On the flight home you turned quiet again, your mama noticed, pulling you up on it straight away. 

“Princess, what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing mama.” 

“You can tell me. You don’t have to lie bebé.” 

“Imscaredillbesentaway.” You said it so fast, your heart beating out of your chest, making you want to throw up. 

“Can you say that again for me? More slow this time.” 

You took a deep breath, refusing to look at your mama, “I’m scared I’ll be sent away when the baby comes. Mami and Olga won’t want me anymore.” 

“It won’t happen. You’re here to stay, forever. Why would you think that?” 

“It happened before. Before you and Mami. So it’ll happen again.” 

“No! No it won’t. You’re not going anywhere, you’re our daughter. Mine, mamis, and Olga’s. You’re our first baby, no one in this world would be able to take you.” Jenni spoke with so much conviction that apart of you believed her. 

“Do you promise?” 

“I promise. On everything. On my career, on your mamis. I promise.” Jenni’s heart broke at your lack of believing. She knew you took change hard but had hoped that as you grew up, you were more welcome to it. She guesses you just hide it easier. 

When you both arrived at the Barcelona airport and made it through security, Alexia and Olga were both waiting. Big smiles on their faces as their excitement to have you back was evident. You on the other hand, tensed the minute you saw them. Jenni knew she only had a limited amount of time to talk to alexia before her flight back to Madrid. 

“Ale, I need to talk to you.” She pulled alexia’s arm, trying to get her away from Olga and you. Olga noticed and nudged you away from them. 

“Everything alright?” 

“No. I know you’re excited to be having a baby with Olga but I’m worried you’re forgetting about y/n.” 

“What are you talking about? How could I forget her?” 

“She’s scared you’ll send her away when the baby comes Ale. She said it. Look at her, really look at her.” They both turned to look at you. You were hitting your hand against your leg, something you did when you were anxious. Your eyes stayed trained on the ground, refusing to look at Olga when she spoke. “That’s not the same kid I just spent 4 days with.” 

It seemed that both Olga and Alexia realised at the same time. Olga looked up with wide eyes, slightly panicked at the fact you weren’t engaging with her as usual, alexia on the other hand looked at you with her eyes full of tears. 

Arriving home didn’t bring you comfort, going to your room at the end of the house didn’t bring the calmness you thought it would. Instead it left you feeling empty and sad. 

The next few days were hard. Your Mami and Olga tried to talk to you, even going as far to get Mapi involved with Pina, Patri and Cata but nothing worked. You were stuck in a rut of anxiety and scaredness. 

Olga finally got you to crack, your Mami regretfully had to go away again for a game. Meaning she’d leave you while you were clearly going through something and she’d miss an ultrasound with Olga. 

The morning of the ultrasound, Olga all but dragged you out of the house. She too was feeling a mix of emotions. Despite both alexia and Jenni saying she was just as much as a parental figure to you as they were, she couldn’t help but feel on the outside. She hoped this baby would form as a bridge to you. Something you had more in common, but instead it was causing a wedge between all of you. 

You both cried at the ultrasound, seemingly for different reasons but at the time, Olga was optimistic that it was for the same reason. Seeing the baby. 

When you returned home you disappeared to your room very quickly, only to return with a duffle bag and backpack. 

“Can you take me to Eli’s please?” 

“What?” Olga was confused, Alexia never said anything about you staying there while she was gone. 

“You have your kid. You don’t want me here, Mami doesn’t want me here, so can you please take me? If you can’t it’s fine. I know how to get there.” 

“Y/n no. I’m not taking you to Eli’s-“ it came out a lot harsher than she anticipated. She realised as soon as the words left her mouth, “I’m sorry. What I meant is, this is your home. Now and forever. It doesn’t matter if I’m having a baby, no one can ever replace you. You’re our mariquita. You belong here, in this family.” 

“People have said that before and then they change their minds. This is what’s best. I leave and you and Mami can have the baby in peace. It’s okay Olga. I’ll catch the bus.” You were gone before she could argue. 

You heard the apartment door close behind you, Olga’s footsteps approaching as fast as she could, “mariquita please wait!” The fire staircase locked behind you as you ran down the stairs towards the exit. You knew it locked, you knew Olga would be stuck waiting for a lift, so it gave you time to figure how to get the bus. 

Olga raced back to the apartment only to realise her keys were inside. The door was locked and she was on the wrong side of the door. As if this whole thing couldn’t get any worse. 

In panic she rang alexia, which was the worst idea she could’ve had and as soon as alexia started to panic, she hung up. You said you were going to Eli’s, so she rang Eli who then rang alba who then rang the rest of her family. Soon enough the entire Putellas family was out hunting for you. 

You had a phone, she could’ve rang you, but in her panic she forgot about that. Alexia didn’t though, she rang you. Multiple times. Each time you watched it ring out, too afraid of her confirming the fact that she was going to ‘return you’. 

After what felt like hours, you finally arrived to Mollet. The sun was setting so you knew you had to go fast. Eli was there when you arrived, running out the front door when she saw you come up the driveway. 

“Mariquita! Dios mío you scared me. You scared us all! What were you thinking!” 

“Mami and Olga don’t want me anymore. You know how to book flights so I wanted to come here. Olga said she wouldn’t take me so I took the bus.” 

“They don’t want to get rid of you! What are you talking about?” Eli was in disbelief. She couldn’t believe that you truly felt that way, or that her daughter would give you that idea. 

“It’s happened before! Why aren’t people understanding! Mami and Olga are finally having a baby, making their own family. Their OWN. I’m not apart of that. This family is no longer mine, and that’s okay. If you won’t help me get to mama, I’ll figure it out myself.” 

“No. You will come inside and we will wait for your Mami and Olga. You will eat dinner and have a shower but you’re not leaving and I am not booking you a flight.” 

You ate in silence, much to Eli’s dismay. She tried and tried to get more answers out of you, giving up when she realised you wouldn’t talk anymore. Seeing you this way, being selectively mute, reminded her of the first time she met you. 

You were a tiny four year old. Both alexia and alba were at least double your weight when they were your age. It shocked Eli, alexia had warned her but no amount of warning could stop the feelings that she felt when she saw you. 

Both Eli and Alba had been waiting patiently to meet you. They were told from the beginning that you were different, suffered from trauma that neither Alexia nor Jenni fully understood. To Eli, you were perfect. 

The social worker warned Alexia and Jenni about the trauma you had endured and that they weren’t sure about how much you remembered or what you saw. When things got overwhelming you went mute. It was a coping mechanism and over the years, with lots of therapy and love, that habit disappeared. 

As you stood behind Alexia’s legs, peaking through every so often, you looked tiny. There were healing bruises on your arms. Not in the way kids normally get bruises. 

It took a long time for you to say anything more than “hola” to her. She remembers the day like it was yesterday. You had scored a goal against Mapi and you were so excited. Smashing through the front door, without evening taking your shoes off. 

Eli cried that night. She cried about how happy you looked, how happy you were and how you actually spoke. 

It was now the opposite, you weren’t that shy little four year anymore. But old habits die hard. Sometimes it’s easier to go mute than to focus on what was truly happening. 

Olga was waiting in the spare room when you got out of the shower. Or the room that used to be alexia’s room. Littered with photos of her and her friends as they grew up, a few of her and your mama, alba too. It was a time capsule, for you it felt overbearing. You didn’t have friends like she did, you’d have a sibling in four months but it wouldn’t be the same as her and alba. 

“Mariquita. We need to have a proper conversation. I want you to tell me everything. If you truly can’t, I will wait for your Mami, but you need to talk. No more pretending everything is fine.” 

“Okay.” You say on the floor, your knees pressed against your chest, your back hard against the wall. “What do you want me to say first?” 

“How did you feel when we told you we were having a baby?” 

“Scared. Excited. Anxious. Jealous.” 

“Can you elaborate please?” 

“Before Mami and mama, I was with this other couple. They couldn’t have kids for whatever reason and they were going to adopt me. A few weeks before they found out they were having a baby and cancelled the adoption. Literally just palmed me off. Then the kids at the group home would say how no one wanted me and whatever. I didn’t think I believed it but I guess I did. 

You and Mami would have this experience, you being pregnant I mean, Mami and mama didn’t have that with me, so I feel like this baby is better than me in that sense. Mama is so far away and I was scared that if you decided to get rid of me that she wouldn’t get here in time and I’d just be on the street.

I picked the room furthest from the others because I thought, I thought if I did that you would forget I was there. It would be sad to be forgotten but I would have somewhere safe to stay. 

Then you said you wouldn’t bring me here and I panicked. I thought someone was going to come and take me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Sobs racked your body, and for the first time Olga saw you as the little girl Alexia described. Broken, scared and tiny. Right then in her mind, you weren’t the twelve year old she’d grown to love, you were a tiny four year old. Scared of what was to come. 

“No Mariquita. No sorry. You were scared, that’s okay. You’re allowed to be scared, anxious and whatever else you want to feel. You’re allowed to feel it all but you’re safe here, with you Mami, mama and with me. Yes, this will be the first baby I give birth too, but it’s not my first kid.” You looked up at her, not realising she had moved in front of you, “you’re my first kid Mariquita. You’re as much my daughter as you are to your Mami and mama. I know it is a big change, you’re scared and truthfully I am scared. Terrified actually. But I know you’re going to be the best big sister ever and this baby is lucky to have you. I’m lucky to have you.” 

You let yourself fall into Olga’s arms. You were both crying, hanging onto each other for dear life. When alexia arrived to her mamis house, all guns blazing, she was met with a stern Eli. Giving her daughter an ear full about the way she spoke to Olga. Olga however didn’t hold a grudge. She knew Alexia was panicking, she was also panicking. 

“Ale, she needs therapy, she needs help. Don’t be mad at her, you can be mad at me but not her.”

“I’m not mad. I’m sorry, I was just so scared. I didn’t want to leave as it was and then I did and this happens? What do we do olgi?” 

“We start by moving her room, closer to ours.” Alexia gave her girlfriend a confused look, “she took that room in case we didn’t want her anymore. She’d be far away so she’d stay out of the way and have somewhere to stay.” 

Alexia let the tears fall, wrapping an arm around Olga as they wanted you sleep. “How did things get so fucked up?” 

“We will fix it. All of it.” Instead of waking you and leaving for their own house, both alexia and Olga climbed into bed with you. The game was the last thing on Alexia’s mind. All she wanted was for her family to be happy, for you to be happy. 

Fix it they did. It started with moving your room, something you were still on edge about, even with all the reassurance. Then it was the therapy, twice a week. Once with the school counsellor and once with the clubs psychologist. 

Neither Alexia nor Olga spoke about the baby around you, both families were also on strict instructions not too. Both therapists agreed that it would be better for now, if you wanted to know, you would ask. It wasn’t that you hated this unborn baby, it was that you were still scared about being ‘returned’. 

Olga had an ultrasound coming up, it was to find out the gender and your Mami wanted you there. They had put off finding out the gender for the last two months because they wanted you there to enjoy it. She wanted this to be a family event, something that would bring you all join but she also knew not to push you. 

“Mari, bebé, can you come here for a sec?” 

“Mami I promise I’ll clean my room!”

“It’s not about that.” Your Mami laughed. “I want to ask you a question. If you don’t feel comfortable and want to stay here or with Alba that’s fine. There’s no pressure at all. Okay?”  

“Okay?”

“Today Olga has an ultrasound to find out the gender. I want to invite you, again there’s no pre-“

“Yeah I’ll come.” To you, it was no longer a big deal. You were mostly excited for the baby, still a little nervous about the change. Your Mami was sat gobsmacked on the couch as you walked away, finally going to clean your room. 

Olga got in the car, completely unaware of your presence until you asked a simple question, to which she let out a bloody curling scream, clutching her chest. All you and your Mami could do was laugh. She didn’t ask any questions about what you were doing, only giving Alexia a look that said ‘we will talk later.’ 

‘A boy.’ The technician announced. 

A flurry of movement happened in that moment. Your Mami had pulled you towards her and Olga, a group hug forming. There were tears, happy tears. And when your Mami looked at you sadly you made sure to emphasise that were happy. 

There was a question bobbing around in your head though. How did Olga get pregnant. Obviously you were given a simple sex talk in school and by both your mothers, but it never occurred to you that two women would have sex differently. That was something you would need to google when you got home, not wanting to deal with the awkwardness of asking your Mami or Olga. 

“Ice cream time?” Your Mami smiled as she pulled you into her side. 

“I definitely want ice cream.” Olga piped up. 

You interlinked your hands with Olga’s, swinging them, laughing and smiling as you went along for the journey to the ice cream parlour. 

As all three of you sat there laughing and eating your ice cream, all alexia could think about is how lucky she was. There would be more bumps in the road, but right now everyone was happy. You were laughing and smiling with Olga, it was definitely a sight for sore eyes. 

The following two months were basically spent fussing over Olga and her ever growing baby bump. She referred to you and your Mami as ‘the twins’. Forever asking if she needed something or offered to get it for her, even going so far as to guide her to the bathroom when Alexia was away for a game. 

You were certainly the mediator between them somedays. Alexia going on about how the baby doesn’t need more clothes, or shoes, or toys but you would side with Olga. Or when Alexia wanted Olga to stay in bed to relax, you were at her side encouraging her to do so. 

The biggest surprise came when you asked what the birth plan was. 

“I don’t know. Push it out and hope I don’t poop?” 

Alexia was bewildered, “why do you ask? How do you know what a birth plan is?” 

“I googled it.” You shrugged, “I’ve also watched birthing videos on YouTube. You’ll probably shit yourself.” 

“Not helpful!” 

“Is that something you want to be involved in?” Your Mami asked as she rang her fingers through your hair, making a mental note to book you in for a haircut soon. 

“If that’s what Olga wants.” 

“I do. But you don’t have to. It’ll probably be gross.” 

“Oh it’ll definitely be gross.” Both adults laughed as you scrunched your nose. 

“Can I leave if it gets too much?” 

“Of course Mari! Eli and my mami will be in the waiting room.” 

“Along with half the team no doubt.” 

It was settled, you would be there to watch your little brother come into this world. The option to leave was there if you wanted to take it. There was truly only one question still in your mind: how did Olga get pregnant?

As the final month began, everyone around was on edge, expect for you. You have read everything, watch hours and hours of YouTube videos. You were ready. Emotionally, you were better. Talking candidly with your mami and mama whenever they asked, Olga too. 

If you needed to deliver the baby in the lounge room, you could do that. If you needed to drive her to the hospital, illegally, you could do that. Thanks to bullying Mapi into teaching you how to drive when she was supposed to be watching you for a date night. 

You and Olga had secretly bought and packed a second hospital bag, knowing the minute Olga’s water broke, your mami would be insane. And she was. 

A week after the baby’s due date, Olga’s water broke. She was sitting outside on the chairs enjoying the sun when it happened. Her contractions weren’t as frequent as the hospital required, once every 15 or so minutes. But as soon as she told Alexia, she went crazy. 

Both of you found it amusing, watching her run around the house trying to find things she would need, offering Olga the hair straightener, hair drier, a scrubbing brush? She wouldn’t relax until you called your abuela. When Eli arrived, Olga’s contractions were 12 minutes apart, Alexia looked like she was going to throw up, pass out and cry all at once. 

Even though she was running around like a headless chook, every time a contraction hit she was right there by Olga’s side. Helping her breathe through it. For someone so calm and collected when it came to football, she was truly the opposite right now. Your abuela couldn’t help but laugh when she saw what her daughter was doing. 

Between every contraction Alexia was off cleaning something, as if they had not organised for the cleaner to come while Olga was in labour. 

“Mami? What are you doing?” Curiosity got the best of you, finding your mami in the wardrobe going through her sock drawer. 

“Mari! Good you’re here, help me go through these please. I think some of these socks are yours.” 

“No mami.” You laughed at her truly panicked state, you couldn’t wait to tell Mapi about it, “Olga’s in labour and you’re in here organising your socks? Do you think that’s a good use of your time?” 

“¡Dios mío! You’re right! I need to clean your bathroom!”

“Mami no! You need to be with Olga. You’re being slightly insane right now.” 

“I’m panicking okay? I don’t know what to do!” 

“You should probably breathe and put the hospital bag in the car. It’s in the hallway closet.” 

“No, it’s next to my side of the bed. I made sure it was close.”

“Oh nah we aren’t taking that one. Olga bought another because she knew you would panic. Vamos! We are having a baby.” You smiled and skipped out of the room. 

After a very long 16 hours, it was finally time for Olga to push. Everyone was exhausted. Labour looked rough, the videos you had watched didn’t make it same as bad but it was bad. 

As Olga’s legs opened and while she was mid push, you decided to look. Why? You had no idea. 

“I’ve never seen a vagina before and that’s disgusting.” You looked like you were going to pass out. A clip to the back of your head and a stern look from your mami had you mumbling a sorry to a laughing Olga. 

It didn’t take much longer for your baby brother to be born. You were crying, Olga was crying your mami too but most importantly, your baby brother was crying. 

Truthfully, a few hours ago you were getting anxious about how the aftermath would be, but when Olga reached out for your hand, pulling you closer and kissing your forehead, you knew everything would be okay. 

Your mami sent you home with Eli to shower and get some sleep. There were so many questions in your head, ones you wanted to google and ones you just wanted to ask. After a good feed and sleep, you were back to the hospital the next morning. 

Your mami was pacing the room when you got there, looking anxious and sweaty. 

“Hi? Can I come in?” You asked shyly. 

“Mari! Oh bebé, of course you can. Come here, hug me.” She squeezed you so tight and you were hitting her back to get her to stop. 

“Mami. Mami! Can’t breathe!” You spattered out. 

“Oops sorry!” She slightly pushed you away. Olga was nursing your baby brother. He looked so small, smaller than you imagine. 

“Do you want to hold him?” Olga asked, noticing you were staring. 

“Can I?” 

Your mami walked you through it, one hand supporting his head, the other his body. 

“What’s his name?” 

“Rio Jaume Putellas.” She fiddled with the beanie on his head, “rio for Olga’s last name, Jaume for my papi, Putellas for you.” Alexia wanted to cry, the way you looked at the baby was the same way she looked at Alba. Sure, there was a twelve year age gap between you and baby Rio, but that look told her everything she needed to know. You would protect him with your life, love him with your entire heart, and annoy him like any big sister would. 

Friends and family slowly trickled into the room throughout the day, when Ingrid and Mapi arrived they were so overcome with emotion that Mapi was crying. A big ugly cry. For you, it was funny. 

“I have a question.” All four adults turned to you, “I know how babies are made with a man and a woman but with two woman do you use that strap thing that has a button to make the stuff come out? I don’t really understand.” 

Everyone’s faces dropped, if baby Rio wasn’t in the bassinet, you were sure he would be on the floor. 

“What the fuck.” Mapi was the first person to say anything. 

“Y/n how do you know what that is?” Your mami used your first name, something she didn’t do very often. 

“I googled it? I wanted to be prepared for all of this.” 

“Your iPad is being taken away from you.” Was all Olga said. Poor Ingrid was still in disbelief. 

“No ipad, no phone, no tv. Anything that has the internet is gone. Absolutely not.” 

When alba walked into the tense room and saw you mami pacing, once again, she was confused. “Ah what happened?” 

“I asked if they used the strap thing that has stuff come out of it to make baby rio. Now they are broken.” You shrugged, waving your hand around at them. 

“A strap thing with stuff coming out of it?” Alba repeated back, not understanding what you were saying. “Oh. OH!” It clicked. Then she laughed, tears coming out of her eyes, stomach hurting, kind of laugh. 

“This isn’t funny Alba!” Alexia gritted. 

“Lesbian sex talk time! Are we making a PowerPoint?” A pillow was through at her, this time from Olga. 

Thankfully both your abuela and Olga’s mum arrived so the subject was changed very quickly. For you- no answers were supplied and your mami seemingly forgot about the no internet rule very quickly. 

Once everyone was home, it was weird. You weren’t 100% sure what to do, every time the baby cried you just stared at him. Unsure if you were allowed to help. One morning when it was just you and Olga in the kitchen you asked. 

“I want to help but I don’t know what to do.” 

“You’re helping Mari.” You gave her a confused look, “you make coffee for us in the morning, you changed our bed sheets the other night, every morning I come out here it’s clean. Because you do that. You’re helping in ways that are unimaginable but I want you to remember that you’re twelve. You don’t have to do all this. My mami, Eli, your mami, they can all do it.” 

She pulled you into her side, kissing your cheek. Olga was grateful for you, your mami was grateful for you, and you were grateful for them. For being patient, not getting rid of you, for loving you. 

When you rocked baby Rio to sleep, you reminded him that he was loved, safe and wanted. Something you didn’t want him to forget. 

Alexia would often cry when she saw you holding him with a big smile on her face. Or when she saw you doing tummy time with him because he was ‘lonely on the ground by himself’. 

Your family was full. Hearts were full. Love was never far away. 

[fuckyeahisawthat]

What is Mage Viktor doing?

So it turns out I do have a take on what's going on with Mage Viktor, why he's messing with timelines in the way he is, and what he hoped to achieve by bringing Jayce to the torment nexus dimension and then sending him back to his own timeline armed with facial hair, trauma, and the ruthless determination to somehow stop his own Viktor.

Of course this is just my own reading; there are many ways you can interpret the reveals of the final episode. But it's become my preferred reading because it makes Mage Viktor come off as absolutely BATSHIT. The apotheosis of all Viktor's best and worst qualities. As he would be.

First we gotta lay out some fundamental principles about how I understand Viktor that will inform this reading.

Viktor was never being controlled by the Hexcore. This deserves its own whole meta, but tl;dr, I think it is directly antithetical to the core themes of the show to think that Viktor wasn't making his own decisions all through s2.

Over and over again in Arcane, we see characters become "monsters" and do monstrous things, and every time the thematic point is that this is still the person you love. When Vi says that her sister is dead because she is Jinx now and when Jayce says "my partner died in this room" THEY ARE BOTH WRONG. The person they love is different now but they're still in there and they can still be reached.

Viktor is transformed by something terrible happening to him (like many characters in the show!) but all his decisions are still his own and to me they seem like perfectly consistent--if extreme--extensions of what we know about him as a character before he gets a Hexcore heart.

So my analysis starts with the premise that Mage Viktor is not trying to free his past self from an outside influence. He's trying to hack his own character traits to make a different version of himself do what he wants.

Viktor is BOTH genuinely altruistic and compassionate AND deeply arrogant. This is such a banger combination and I think turning down the dial on either trait makes Viktor less interesting. I think Mage Viktor has genuine remorse about what he did in his timeline and he is, fundamentally, trying to find a way he could have stopped himself from killing everyone (within certain constraints; we'll get to that). When Jayce is able to show main timeline Herald Viktor his memories of what Viktor is about to do to their world, the first thing Viktor sees is not dead Jayce, or himself left alone in an empty world. It's all the ordinary people who are going to die terrified because of him.

I do not think any version of Viktor wanted this result. But Viktor is so convinced he is always right that his arrogance carries him right past the point of no return before he realizes oh actually I haven't freed everybody I have killed them.

So I do think Mage Viktor is trying to find a timeline where this doesn't happen, but he is not timeline-hopping in order to preemptively stop other versions of himself from making the same mistake. If he wanted to do that, he would just leave all the many many timelines where Jayce dies in a blizzard as a child alone. No Jayce who grows up obsessed with magic, goes around Academy rules to get the hex crystals, invents Hextech and gives Viktor the power to fuck everything up. Easy peasy.

But no. Instead, Viktor is actively going into other timelines and changing them at the point where Jayce would have died.

He is doing things that appear to make the sequence of events that leads to his world-ending magic blast WAY MORE LIKELY. And that's because...

Viktor is obsessively selfish when it comes to Jayce.

Mage Viktor wants to find a timeline where he doesn't doom the world but not at the expense of meeting Jayce and spending years doing science with him.

If the goal was only to prevent Jayce from dying in the blizzard, he could have done it quietly, waiting for Jayce to collapse in the snow and then transporting him to the base of the mountain, leaving before Jayce had any idea who saved him. Instead he makes SUCH A DRAMATIC PRODUCTION of it that Jayce remembers and can repeat the steps of the action years later, well enough that he actually produces a working spell from a barely-tested Hextech prototype. Mage Viktor wants that shit burned into baby Jayce's brain. He wants to make sure he fundamentally alters the arc of Jayce's life, bending it into a trajectory that collides with his own.

Viktor also (as far as we see) doesn't go the route of going back in time and killing his younger self, or steering the course of his own life along a path where he never meets Jayce. He doesn't even go for a timeline where he and Jayce meet each other but they don't invent Hextech. Now maybe it's the case that some time before our Jayce arrives in his timeline, Mage Viktor tried all that, and has figured out that none of those options work. (Maybe in some of those timelines Jayce is the one who goes Machine Herald, and there's no partner there to talk him off the ledge of ending the world.) But I think it's also possible that, now that he's gotten the experience in one timeline of spending years with Jayce making once-in-a-generation scientific breakthroughs together (which I truly believe is just as important a part of their relationship to Viktor as any romantic or sexual element might be)...he can't bear to deny any version of himself the chance of having that--even if the price is the rest of the world. Because a world where Jayce isn't his partner isn't a world worth saving.

So what I think Mage Viktor is doing is sitting there with his stubborn engineer brain and the husk of his dead soulmate, fiddling with the timelines like a Rubik's cube, going Not meeting Jayce CANNOT be the only option. There MUST be a timeline where Jayce and I meet each other and entangle our lives in an alarmingly codependent way AND we dodge the apocalypse at the last minute, I don't end up killing him, and we do not doom the world together. And I'm going to fucking find it.

So he's been hitting timeline after timeline, trying to find the combination of factors where everything works. He is not trying to preemptively save every timeline from himself, he is trying to prove to himself that meeting the love of his life doesn't doom the entire fucking world. It's devotion that is SO PROFOUNDLY SELFISH that he is willing to doom timeline after timeline, but driven by someone with enough compassion and pride that he doesn't want the guilt and shame of knowing he can only have this one life-changing thing if he ruins everything else for everyone, and enough arrogance to still look at this as a problem he must be smart enough to solve.

At some point in this process, I think he also figures out that Jayce is the only person who has any chance of reasoning with any version of himself. I think it's worth paying attention to the exact wording of his "in all timelines, in all possibilities" speech, because it's not just a love confession (although it is that).

"I thought I could bring an end to the world's suffering. But when every equation was solved, all that remained were fields of dreamless solitude. There is no prize to perfection. Only an end to pursuit. In all timelines, in all possibilities, only you can show me this."

And while this is some hella romantic cosmic soulmate level shit, it is also Viktor saying I need you, because you are the only person I have ever trusted enough to save me from myself.

It's the Hexcore promise all over again. Viktor knew he couldn't destroy his own creation. I read this not as Viktor being physically unable to destroy it because the Hexcore had some power over him, but not having the will to destroy it. Because this huge leap in Hextech technology was his big breakthrough and not (as I think he saw it) him supporting Jayce's dream. He knew he couldn't do it. So he asked Jayce to do it for him. Please, save me from my own pride, my desire to leave a legacy. I can't do it on my own.

It's a huge extension of trust, for Viktor to admit such a need. And now he's doing it again when the stakes are MUCH MUCH higher. I need you, because you are the only person who can show me the horror of what I am about to do and have me believe it.

Of course, the deep irony is that really the only person Viktor trusts to tell him he is wrong is HIMSELF FROM THE FUTURE. Astral plane Machine Herald Viktor is standing right behind Jayce, watching Jayce's memory of Mage Viktor telling him what the consequences of his actions will be, and that is the moment the horror sinks in and cracks him fully out of his machine shell.

But of course Jayce is the only person he would ever trust enough to carry such a message (from himself!!) to somewhere close enough to reach him.

It's not clear exactly how much of a detailed plan Mage Viktor has when he sends Jayce back to the main timeline, or how much of that plan he shares with Jayce. But I think he has figured out some broad strokes which affect how Jayce behaves.

(1) Jayce has to immediately go and kill commune Viktor. Squishing Salo is maybe a bonus side quest, but Jayce doesn't even take time to fucking shower before he heads for the commune. (I would love to see the part of the conversation where Mage Viktor is like yeah you know that pit you just climbed out of? Yeah the first thing you gotta do is go right back in there, all the way to the bottom, and find me looking like ethereal cyborg Jesus and blast a fucking hole through my chest.) Maybe this is because if Jayce waits around at all, commune Viktor finds a way to get to him and he folds and joins the cult. Maybe this is because there are just fewer variables involved in forcing Viktor to speedrun his own villain arc by Jayce repeatedly turning him down in one "perfect" form after another. Maybe Mage Viktor knows himself well enough to realize "yeah if you say no to me even ONE TIME but ESPECIALLY when you are HOT and SUFFERING I will go fucking apeshit and we can use that to our advantage."

(2) I think Mage Viktor has realized that he can only be stopped at the very very VERY last minute. He has to be able to see the direct line between what he is about to do right now and the arcane-blasted hell world he's about to create. Otherwise his ego will get in the way and tell him he is smart enough to figure out a way to somehow not kill everybody. Yeah Mage Viktor fucked that one up obviously, but I, main timeline Viktor, will be smart enough and well-intentioned enough when the time comes to simply not do that. I think this is why, for example, Jayce doesn't go to the commune trying to get Viktor to see the error of his ways. It won't work until it is allllmost too late.

Main timeline Viktor stops literally seconds before the point of no return. The arcane corruption spikes that we see everywhere in Mage Viktor's world are already starting to appear.

I think Mage Viktor knows that Jayce has to let him get right up to the edge, close enough to be looking over into the abyss, before he'll be able to pull him back.

But he knows Jayce can do that. That's what they do for each other, right?

This is why I think it was always the plan for Jayce to fight him all the way to the top of the Hexgate, and then surrender. Jayce has to survive until the end of the fight, and maybe for magical physics reasons he has to wait until Viktor sends the anomaly into the sky above the Hexgate. But once they get to the top of the Hexgate tower he stops trying to fight Viktor altogether. Maybe Mage Viktor told him exactly when it had to happen or maybe he just realizes this is the exact same place where he died in Mage Viktor's world; this is his last chance. But in any case, Jayce lands on the top of the Hexgate on his knees and he doesn't try to get up.

He waits, and when he senses Viktor behind him he doesn't try to fight or run away.

I think he knows, either because Mage Viktor told him or through his own intuition, that he has to let Viktor pull him into the astral plane if he wants a chance at reaching him.

How exactly he was going to get through to him and/or get close enough to share the memories before Viktor assimilated him...ehhhh I don't know if either of them had that figured out. The "you were never broken" part of Jayce's speech, while important from a character perspective...very crucially DOES NOT WORK. IT DOES NOT WORK AT ALL. Viktor is assimilating Jayce the whole time. You can see Jayce's astral body changing from the unique version that's still him (like his hands on the left, when he first enters the astral plane--which still look more or less human even though Viktor has already erased "imperfections" like the scrapes and cuts from his time in the pit and the arcane corruption that's spreading up and down his arm from where the rune is embedded) into a featureless gold blob like the other assimilated people.

You can watch the gold light creeping up his body steadily during those lines until it reaches his eyes.

The ONLY thing that stops this timeline from ending the same way Mage Viktor's does...is EKKO.

I think you can make the case that Mage Viktor sent Ekko to the no-Hextech timeline intentionally. But it is such a complex chain of causality for Ekko to get to the point where he's chucking a time machine at Herald Viktor's face that there is no way anyone--even a remorseful demigod with lots of time on his hands--could control every possible factor.

However elaborate Mage Viktor's plan was, and however determined Jayce was to keep his promise to him, it all would have failed if not for factors outside their control and random fucking chance.

Arcane is FULL of near-misses and what-could-have-beens and characters who are trying their best to do something getting knocked off course by consequences they never could have foreseen. Season 2 in particular introduces a persistent thread of chaos and the sense that even events that have understandable root causes are now spiraling out of characters' control. So it feels fitting that such a moment factors into the show's ending.

This is Jayce right before Ekko blasts through spacetime right above Viktor's head.

Yeah that guy was cooked.

The only thing that stops Jayce from being assimilated is Ekko breaking time to throw the Z drive at Viktor's face.

Which startles Viktor enough that he takes his hand off Jayce's head in the physical realm, and also breaks a piece of his machine mask off in the astral realm.

As he always does when one of his "perfect" bodies gets damaged, Viktor withdraws and tried to hide, enough that he lets go of the assimilation connection with Jayce.

Jayce starts to regain his own identity/autonomy.

And he gets a do-over. Exactly the same way Ekko used the Z drive to get a do-over with Jinx when he was trying to talk her out of suicide. Jayce gets another chance, and that's when he goes for "all I want is my partner back" and "because I promised you." Which works.

Mage Viktor's plan, I think, was for Jayce to help main timeline Viktor realize what he was doing before it was too late, and then give him the runestone, which allows him to release all the minds/souls that are connected to him before this becomes some runaway chain reaction of arcane power that swallows everything around him. (How the runestone does this exactly, and how the anomalies play into it, is stuff I am still thinking about. But tbh I am less concerned with the details of made-up magic physics than I am with the character beats.) Mage Viktor had accepted that main timeline Viktor was probably going to die in this process and he'd made peace with it. That's what "should" have happened anyway, if Viktor never found a way to forestall his illness, right? As long as this Viktor got to spend the best years of his life with his Jayce, it was okay.

I don't think Mage Viktor ever expected Jayce to stay there until the end. His goal was to save the world and spare Jayce from himself. And why would he plan otherwise? We know why Jayce stays, but Mage Viktor never got that part of the story. He schlorped up his own Jayce's consciousness with everyone else and maybe he only understood the depths of what Jayce felt for him in the moment that he was killing him. And main timeline Viktor certainly does not expect Jayce to stay. He's shocked when he realizes Jayce has no intention of leaving. No, that wasn't part of any master plan. That part was all Jayce.

[shackleton2]

it's true and I say this as an avid binge-watcher who in the stone age had to look up transcripts of episodes because I couldn't wait THREE ENTIRE DAYS OF MY LIFE FOR NETFLIX TO MAIL ME THE NEXT DVD

Seasons of TV released as one fat drop of 8-12 1-1.5hr episodes, literally being told THIS IS FOR YOU TO BINGE IN ONE INSANE SITTING is the exact definition of my dreams and desires.

......why are they no good??

I can definitely think of exceptions, but "both of them have too much time and not enough time for the characters to struggle and grow and change," as it's well-put above, does seem to be the rule more and more. But what does that phrase really mean??

I saw something recently weighing in on this and saying series in particular seem to think every single thing depicted on screen has to move the story forward, possibly because everything is angled to encourage "binging". It's funny because that sounds like it should do the opposite of making the story feel ponderous and pointless!! So what's going on?

Maybe it's because Real Life™ isn't constantly moving towards one plot resolution, so the more you write a story where that's true, the more impossible true immersion for the viewer becomes?

But also I think actively designing a series to be compulsively watched in one or two massive sittings is hurting them as stories. Maybe it's because bingeing, especially as it's understood in other contexts, is not about enjoying something massively good, at least not after the initial part.

We all know this, right? You don't binge on something because it's just sooooo good. Are there people out there who have never done any kind of binge? Maybe so, so I'll tell you because I surely have: it's inertia. A really scary kind, to be honest, that feels, after a while of getting acclimated to nonstop-consuming the thing, like an absolute involuntary need. Because the second I stop eating the family sized bag of chips, stop taking another drink, stop lighting another smoke, reality will come rushing back in place of the comfort-stimulus. And in reality I am not experiencing joy or even pleasure, I am experiencing the kind of existential horror you get when you try to convince yourself you don't actually have to deal with your own mind. This 100% applies to letting the next episode autoplay after 5 hours of watching one story unfold.

Sorry I got kinda dark there, but the point I'm trying to illustrate is that I don't think you NEED a GOOD PRODUCT in order to get people to binge. And, well, that shows more and more with this "content" streaming services are releasing.

True Blood was a hot mess in so many ways and my mental health sure as shit was too but holy shit watching that obsessively years back was so FUN. That show and other story-loves of mine feel different from stuff getting released in full-season streaming dumps right now, and I don't think it's quality of writing or acting or effects or anything else making the difference as much as whether a show seems to genuinely LIKE itself, or whether it's counting on you finding it preferable enough to reality to let the next episode play and thus get good stats.

we need 15-20 episode seasons again these limited series have the worst pacing in the world and none of the character decisions hold any weight

[thesensteawitch]

The High Priestess Wants You To Know This

(Pile 1→ Pile 2→ Pile 3)

Hello beautiful souls!

This is a collective reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

If you wish to book a reading with me then checkout my:

Rate Card • Booking Form

Ps: You can also DM me in case of any queries. 🌈💛

Sending you love and light ✨🕯️

*******

Here is your reading!

Pile 1

Tarot Cards- Temperance, Two of Cups, Six of Wands, King of Swords, Nine of Swords, The Emperor.

The High Priestess wants you to know that people around you see your efforts and are grateful for your generosity. But what you skip to notice is that you do so much mental and physical work that you forget to relax. You are very patient with the results of your work, but your feminine side needs to be activated now. You can activate it by resting and eating well. Try slow dancing or yoga. Sagittarius, Libra, Cancer, and Leo can be significant. If you're a feminine reading this, then the high priestess wants you to know that you've been very patient when it comes to finding the one. You've never had a masculine support, due to which you sometimes overexert yourself by tapping too much into your masculinity. But I do hear that God is your masculine. While shuffling the deck, I saw in my third eye, “Luck is on your side”—New Moon in Sagittarius, and guess what? The exact card flipped out of the deck! What are the odds? You're divinely protected. Balance will be restored in any situation where masculines have hurt you or you couldn't rely on them. You'll receive the love of your life; just avoid falling into the trap of past people/manipulators. Remember your lessons because the high priestess is warning you that someone from the past may show up again or old wounds of masculinity may come up again. It's going to be a test, so make sure you act according to the lessons you've been made to learn. If you doubt yourself or are afraid that maybe you're the one who is wrong, then that's not true. I see stubborn, too-logical, and aggressive masculine energy around you. I do feel that you have even adopted these qualities or have absorbed these energies unknowingly as you were only focused on surviving. You can let that go now. You've come a long way. Please remember your strength. You're stronger and wiser than you give yourself credit for. This is the last battle with your survival self. Thank it for how it has supported you till now, but don't let it win. You don't need to worry about a thing, so just stay calm. You'll win in LOVE. You'll have that one person who gets you like no one. You've been wronged, so stop giving people the benefit of the doubt. You deserve someone who sees your soul, not someone who falls for superficiality. You've been around people who were full of themselves, and that is why their energies kept lingering around you, forcing you to think about THEM! You may have felt guilty or pressured or doubt your own actions. You may even have ended up gaslighting yourself. I really don't like this energy around you. The High Priestess wants you to consciously focus on yourself and bring your energy back to yourself. Your focus should only be on you. That's all. That's it.

Pile 2

Tarot Cards- Death, Two of Wands, Two of Pentacles, King of Cups, Four of Swords

The High Priestess wants you to know that you cannot avoid the change that is meant to happen. You can delay it but cannot deny it. You still think you've another option or another way while you're on the boat to a different reality. You cannot keep asking the questions regarding a closed door. It won't open. Accept where you are. Just let go of the past. You cannot go back for one last look. Wake up and deal with your emotions. For a while you do not need to do so much. Just take care of your inner world. You may be having weird dreams lately. Your dreams are pointing towards the new reality you're meant to enter. It's a way of your brain to help you release the past. You may even be having dreams about someone who has a lot to say to you, but they cannot decide or make a move. This person may also be confused. Someone here needs to step out of their comfort zone, and the comfort zone is avoiding making the necessary decision. You may be moving back and forth wondering what to do and what not to do. Just don't do what you've been doing all along. Maybe you need to take action toward someone or something, but you're so afraid to take it that now that thing/person is appearing in your dream. Some of you may be afraid to follow your purpose, as it may be the first time you're being given a chance to do what you want to do or what you feel called to do. But the wounds are stopping you or making you guess. The cards ask you to focus on healing yourself and prepare yourself for your purpose/calling. What you've left behind may have been good for a while, but for your further journey, it couldn't assist you. Accept the truth; accept the reality. Don't keep reopening the closed doors; don't make the same choices every day wishing your reality to change.

Pile 3

Tarot Cards- 6 of Cups, 10 of Cups, 7 of Swords, 4 of Cups, The High Priestess

Someone's waiting for you and your message. There's an age gap here, and they are manifesting you consciously or unconsciously. The High Priestess is being very clear about what's happening behind the scenes. Someone's sabotaged their friendship/connection with you. Someone may even drunk text you. What? Someone thinks about you a lot and the way they lied to you or behaved as if they didn't care. The truth is you overwhelm someone. They don't know how to behave in front of you. This can be a past life connection. This can be a secret admirer. They have a lot to say to you. This person can have strong earth sign placements. If there's anything missing in their life, then it's you. I also see that money matters to them a lot, and they are also very stubborn. You have multiple admirers! I feel divine is protecting you from someone so that you can meet the person you're meant to be with. Communication will come your way while you're working or doing your own thing. You and your future person are going to be on the same frequency. You'll be a perfect match. Okay, this stubborn person may even think that you're not receiving enough compared to the efforts you put into your work. This person is very materialistic, and they think they are the king, but in reality they are a page (naive). There's something very mysterious about this person. This stubborn person has never shown you their true side and their goals or about their financial situation. I confirmed with the cards who you're meant to be with, so you're not supposed to give this stubborn person a chance because there's manipulation or sabotage here. What you offer isn't enough for them, and they are always going to see you from their distorted lens. It's another person that the universe wants you to meet and be with. You'll meet them soon. If you were drawn to pile 1, then do check it out (I feel a connection). The stubborn person has made you cry oceans! You're about to receive whatever you expected this stubborn person to be for you or give you. You'll be receiving more than you have asked for because of how kind you've been to the old person. I also heard that the stubborn person's kindness was also calculated. I don't know; this person needs to do some healing. They may even be taking tarot readings on your connection. You, on the other hand, can look forward to a new journey in love and life. The cards are sooo clear in the end! They say it's time to release negativity, and nothing will come of this situation (no matter how much you try to make it work with the stubborn one). At the bottom it says, “A new romantic cycle begins!” Yayyy!

[gardenwalrus]

David Ash, ‘Our Kind of Girl - By The Beatles’, Daily Express (21 Nov. 1963)

After the show, after the applause, what kind of girl do the Beatles think about in the loneliness of hotel rooms locked against the fans? [...] So I went and asked them: What is your kind of girl? [...] Paul McCartney, 21, told me: “It would be great to have the sort of girl who would darn my socks and cook apple pies and things.” Now that may sound like Platitude 1 (a) from the pop-star's handbook of ready-made quotes. But this McCartney I think says what he means. He continued: “She'd be attractive, but not the big show-biz personality type of girl, or one who's affected, or a dizzy dumb blonde. “She'd be intelligent - but not fantastically brainy, because I'm not - and interested in all kinds of music. Including mine.  “And she'd have to have the right sense of humour. Because we do have what someone called a sense of self-irony. And we laugh at all sorts of off-beat things.”

And physically…?  “I like girls to have long hair (it rhymes with 'her'), interesting eyes, and rather high cheekbones. But not turned-up noses. I have one myself, and it's put me right off them.  “I don't like Elizabeth Taylor-type looks. And I don't like exaggerated hour-glass figures. The figure doesn't matter all that much.  “I like girls in with-it clothes. But some girls look fantastic in just a dirty old sack. Indian girls look great in saris.”

John Lennon was looking around for a scotch. And his face, in serious moments like this, has the fear-neither-God-nor-man quality of a Renaissance painter's aristocrat. At 23, he seems the group's elder statesman. For he is married, with one baby. He talked. Huskily, cryptically. “My kind of girl is, of course, Cynthia. My wife. “I like her looks (she's fair-haired), her cooking; everything about her. I'm an extrovert, and she's the opposite.  “We are both indoor types - that's why I don't mind this life, being locked away behind doors. We live at our mum's or our auntie's or hotels. But wherever I'm with her is home. “People have said that every time she comes down to London to see me she is just trying to patch up our marriage. They say, 'You know what they're like in show business.'  “But that's not true of us. I don't happen to be showbusiness. I married before I was in it. And I haven't changed my mind since."  He added: “Of course, I notice other girls.”

George Harrison - at 20 he's the youngest and (some say) the handsomest - thought he preferred blondes. Smallish ones. Then he decided: "I don't go looking for any special sort of girl. She could be any age from 17 to 40. “I wouldn't like one who was soft (unintelligent). Or one who was terribly intellectual - I wouldn't know what she was on about half the time.  “I wouldn't mind if she were arty, hated pop and loved classical music  “Oh, yes, and I don't like girls with too much make-up.”

Ringo Starr’s sad eyes gazed thoughtful down at his drumstick-balancing fingers and the four rings on them - none of them with any marital significance.  “My girl would be just an ordinary sort of girl, but with just that something different for me,” he said.  “I wouldn’t care if she couldn’t cook very well. She could learn. But I don’t like sitting at home, so I’d want a sociable girl who’d come out every time I wanted to go out.”

Not one Beatle mentioned old-fashioned considerations like social status and family connections.  In their kinds of girl they all looked for a sense of humour, interest in their work, reasonable dress sense, and a complete lack of pretentiousness. 

[buttertheflame]

All the way! They dropped the ball on that. Instead of using the romance to enlighten us to the characters that are Jon and Dany, they dumbed them down and devoured them. Perhaps thats what George meant in part by "not my ending". Idk. But I feel inclined to add a few points from the angle of the romance, too.

Going back to the show, the end-of S7 implications (they were willing to sleep together, to see what happened, accepted that if she could bear children, he might father bastards) were not addressed. Let alone the political implications on the question of marriage. Even worse, once Jon and Dany found out his parentage, they did not love each other as the show had suggested they would from their last S7 scene. Turns out they were just dating for funsies. And were quick to think only about what they could lose if it got out and grow cold toward each other. Huh.

Going back to the books, a lot of us have shipped them because everything in the world is often against them. Knowing they are humanitarian, slave-freeing, life-saving rulers who wish to love again, gave readers the expectation that out of the 3000 minor characters and 20 POV characters, they are bound to be understood by, relieved by and will love just one person: Jon or Dany. Young Griff/fAegon aside, heart in conflict included, at their hearts there is no reason they would ever immediately think of a family member as a threat. As others said, it truly goes against their characters, that's the sad thing for us.

I say this as a shipper, knowing the difference b/w the quality of fandom vs. source material:

We're in this pickle because D&D thought they wrote a story, when they didn't. As is popular in Hollywood these days, they did not deliver a proper romance for these two characters, to serve the plot. What they did was ship Jon/Dany in S7 and the plot bent around it; they continued to ship them in S8 and the plot broke around them. They shipped other characters together, too, like Cersei and Euron, to equally dumb and numbing effect. They did final romances and affairs in ways that made no sense to viewers who had the quality of the early seasons to compare to. (ie asoiaf books!)

This is why I think George will always be putting himself into a corner. He is constantly throwing his weight behind shows helmed by showrunners who barely communicate with him or each other, and oversee scripts that do not have book editors. He will constantly be disappointed in these shows that lack the quality and vigor of his published material: as evidenced by his understandable, unprofessional HoTD S2 rant.

He's the captain of this ship, so I say my thanks when I open up one of his books, but I never forget to put the blame at his feet.

Emilia Clarke’s last shot as Daenerys Targaryen on Game of Thrones

[tackykachowch]

Jinx's appearance in s2 ep9 is a tragedy for her character. The writing throughout the season already tried its best to destroy absolutely everything meaningful to her and who she is at her core, and now we get the chance to see it visually.

I'll get this out of the way so nobody bothers me about it later: yes, I personally hate the design overall. But despite that if it was truthful to her character and reflected her journey well I wouldn't even squeak. Well, maybe one tiny time, but not make a whole post about it.

Alright, so right now I'm going to lign up all 3 of her designs and compare them in a sense how they represent Jinx as a character. I apologize for using The Wild Rift model because it's actual hell to find her s2 ep9 look in good quality and with a good view of the details.

There's a pretty stark difference between Powder and Jinx. The only element they share is gloves, but on Jinx they are modified and have a different color. There are however also similiar "motifs"(?), like purple stripes on clothes, Jinx's belts are positioned in a way that mirrors Powder's blue...thing on her pants; also Powder has a small braid on the side of her head, as well as golden hairpins, while Jinx has two braids that are waaay longer, but she still has golden elements that support her braids.

Now, the differences. Powder's clothes are layered and are made from different fabrics, covering almost her entire body. This represents that she's a shy, frightly girl with very low self-esteem. Jinx, on the other hand, has waaay more open skin, even to a somewhat inappropriate degree. This shows us that she became confident and doesn't care what others think of her, maybe even to a fault. Her boots in some way resemble jester's shoes, showing us her more light-hearted attitude, especially towards violence.

Also, unlike Powder, who only ever shot from a toy gun and made bombs that didn't work, Jinx is a prodigy bomb maker and a master shooter with (what seems like) a hand-made pistol, and on top of that has an also self-made machine gun. So from all of this we can pick up that this is the same person, but she changed in a huge way, hence why even her name is different.

Now, onto the Jinx we see in s2 ep9. She cut off her braids, colored streaks of her hair, especially on the bang, replaced her pants, top, and belts, made herself a hood, painted over her tattoos with x-es and Ekko's symbols, fused her machine gun with Fishbones, her recently made rocket launcher (ignore the wild rift picture for this part), and completely remade her pistol. The only things that carry over from her previous outfit are gloves, boots (which are now fully laced), her necklace aaaand yeah that's it. Motifs are left the same, except for her hair of course.

Now, I want to talk about a couple of elements in detail. Her hood is made from unknown material, and resembles some kind of monster, rather than a monkey, raven or shark, her previously established symbols. Like someone pointed out, it probably resembles drawings on Isha's helmet.

Also Jinx has pink markings under her eyes, just like Powder from Ekko's vision in season 1 ep7.

The bandages that replace her top are the same ones Vi has.

So, with all of that information, what can we tell about Jinx at the end of her journey? The obvious answer is that she decided to move on, but in what way? Accepting both "Powder" and "Jinx" parts of her? But then why did she paint over her tattoos? Something permanent, that shows how irreversibly she changed over the years, and will never become the same girl again? Moreover, why didn't she make the new tattoos, pink bullets? Yes yes, pink bullets. Both LoL Jinx and even s2 ep9 skin for Jinx in The Wild Rift have pink bullets tattoos, but arcane Jinx doesn't. Why tho? Well, of course, it's our good ol' pal Silco erasure. Because, you see, Jinx killed Silco with her Pow-Pow, and when she shoots with it, the bullets are seen as pink projectiles. So, not only does Jinx figuratively want to "paint over" her past with Silco, she also in no way wants to capture what she did to him and that in the very same night she finally accepted herself as Jinx. Of course we know that s2 writers didn't want to follow up on this decision, but adding a couple of effects onto her model isn't that big of a job. Anyway

Why did she go back to covering her legs entirely? Is she more careful now, orrr perhaps she seeks protection from someone? No. Why does she have paint all over her, and Ekko's symbols in particular? Is she a part of the Firelights now? Even if that's the case, it was never confirmed on screen. Why did she completely change her haircut, only leaving a bang? I guess hair holds the memories or whatever, so to start a new life you shouldn't have any memories of the previous one? Idk. Why did she replace her top with bandages like Vi's, if the last time they saw each other Jinx told Vi to let her go and forget about her? Idk. Why did she fuse Pow-Pow and Fishbones together? Idk.

The only things I more or less don't question are the hood and markings, but then again, I'm not really happy with the fact that we see Jinx in them in her "last" moments either. That's the part of my biggest problem with all of this, actually. It took around 10 years for Jinx to have such a big difference in how she looks, but the latest change happened literally overnight. No matter how you try to explain this, this is objectively terrible writing. In less than one episode the main character of the series drastically changed her appearance in ways that should tell us about a big character development, but we didn't get a chance to see any of it. Not the process, nor the development itself, because Jinx behaves in ep9 the same way she behaves in the rest of s2.

So, what was that all about? I guess they wanted to fill out the quota of a minimum of two outfit changes per season, but it's in no way justified within the show. And that's why this is a tragedy. Jinx went from the most well-written character in the show with incredible design and conflict to the writer's toy which only function is to be sacrificed.

[aprillikesthings]

So this is somewhat of a continuation of my "you could headcanon Catra as demisexual based on canon" post, but I wanted to write a new post for this.

So there’s a fascinating conversation to be had about why, in fics where Catra and Adora aren't together (yet), so many of us have written Adora as…not a prude per se, but far less likely to hook up with other people—and have written Catra doing that, instead. (I mean, I have an unpublished WIP that includes that; I'm not throwing stones at glass houses here.)

And I do think some of it is that Adora is awkward in that way that’s so often some combo of a sheltered upbringing/ADHD/autism; whereas Catra is in fact more openly flirtatious.

(Disclaimer: In this post I'm using "slutty" in a neutral-to-positive sense.)

But the irony is that One, plenty of people who share those qualities with Adora are in fact hella slutty*; and Two, Catra clearly doesn’t intend to follow through on all that flirting.

ANYWAY time for my actual thesis of this post:

The real reasons, IMHO, that it's easier to see Adora as less slutty than Catra:

Adora is so visibly uncomfortable in her skin, and Catra is not

Adora doesn't even realize when she's attracted to other people

Catra however is aware of when people find her attractive (and changes how she interacts with them based on that)

The tweets aren't connected; they weren't part of the same thread. But ND's made no secret of the fact that he gave Adora a bunch of his own traits**, and it was after s5 that he started coming out as trans--which isn't to say Adora is intended to be read as dysphoric. But the way Adora never thinks of herself or what she wants carried over into not thinking about her physical body as anything other than a tool, and not feeling comfortable in her body, and not feeling like she owned it. (Which....is probably related to ND's religious trauma, considering how many conservative/fundie Christians straight-up tell women and girls their body doesn't belong to them. In those words. Literally.)

And I think that's part of why Adora reads as so awkward. The idea of someone wanting her and finding her attractive is just bizarre to her to the point that she doesn't even see it.

She does clearly find other people attractive! But I don't think she realizes she's doing it--she reminds me a bit of when I was 15 and stared at women in bikinis on the beach and tripped over my own feet because I was looking at them and not where I was going lol, and had literally zero idea I was doing it until my best friend told me about it later.

Adora didn't even know she wanted to kiss Catra until just before it happened--if Glimmer had pulled Adora aside in the Crimson Waste and said "lol you want Huntara so bad," Adora would've been genuinely confused!

And that's all before you get into the whole She-Ra thing, and you could write a long-ass essay about Adora's sense of identity and the degree to which she sees She-Ra as herself or not. But the fact is that She-Ra has a different body than Adora! Taller, stronger, a lot more hair lol. And the people around her clearly value She-Ra differently than they do Adora. So that's a whole. Thing.

Meanwhile: Catra just feels comfier in her body. She does try to tamp down her cat-like qualities to some degree, especially in s4, but a lot of it was just that her ears and tail tended to give away her emotions, and she was trying to hide them. She stops suppressing that at some point after Save the Cat. (And then the Universe gave her a mood ring alien cat, lol.) Catra's got her own pile of Issues, but her body is just not one of them.

There’s a scene at the end of The Coronation (s4ep1) where Catra is in her s4 outfit for the first time, and she basically does the “I’m in charge now” thing at Hordak, and I’m sorry but it’s...not NOT sexually charged, even leaving aside that her new outfit has thigh slits and a boob window. She’s sitting in his throne and purring (loudly!) and then purrs out a "Hey, Hordak."

She basically forces him to his knees, taunts him, and then we see from his POV as she sits back in that throne and crosses her legs. If she’d done that in a scene with literally any non-male character it would be seen as ship-bait!

Is she intentionally flirting with Hordak? Lol no.

But you'll notice: She doesn't do it with Scorpia, when she's mean to Scorpia. With Scorpia she's just...biting and cruel. So she clearly has some idea what she's doing when she taunts people, enough that she knows Scorpia would take it differently. She knows Scorpia finds her attractive and is trying to push Scorpia away.

Catra also doesn't do it with Double Trouble! Double Trouble flirts with Catra, but Catra gives none of it back, and as noted in my previous post, is even visibly uncomfortable with it at times.

Which isn't to say Adora never does the "flirtatious taunting" thing:

But like, where. Where do you think she learned it from.

(this post is once again relevant)

EDIT: another example of Adora learning it from Catra, taken from a "She-Ra Crack" video:

(*Me. In my 20’s. Just remember kids, lots of neurodivergent nerds are hella slutty.) (**iirc that's how he got diagnosed with ADHD. Everyone just like "hey is Adora intentional ADHD rep" and he was like "no, I wrote her like me?? ...oh. shit.")

(Lastly: anyone reblogging this to shame people for writing/hc'ing/shipping whatever they want will get blocked. I'm not even sure I hc Catra as demi and I wrote a whole post about it lol.)

[yuesya]

Aventurine drums his fingers restlessly upon the table.

It’s not the thrill or rush of getting ready to make another gamble, to take on another of the IPC’s deals. No, this is a very different sort of restlessness that he’s feeling right now –one that’s mixed with a distinct unease, almost. Aventurine wouldn’t say that he’s nervous, because he isn’t, but…

… But Aventurine is a realist who’s always acutely self-aware of his own worth. A worth that can only be measured in terms of what value he is able to provide to those around him.

Any relationships are weighed and calculated, always. Everyone makes use of others in some manner, but at the same time that you’re using others, you have to be prepared for being used in return. Because that’s the way things work in this world, isn’t it?

Assess one’s value, establish your own worth, then extend a hand in friendship. That’s the way to cultivate a healthy, cordial relationship.

Look at me. I can be useful to you.

“Aventurine?”

A smile curls over his lips at the sound of her voice, before her figure has even crossed into view. “Hello, Lyra. How have you been doing these days?”

“I was in your apartment last week,” the obtuse Halovian girl responds, once again failing to recognize and partake in the common ritual of social niceties that most people observe.

A faint hint of something more genuine enters Aventurine’s smile, even though he can’t help but be exasperated by her response. “… Do you realize how misleading that sounds?”

Lyra blinks, blue eyes wide and clueless. “But it’s the truth?”

Someone save this oblivious girl. And Aventurine too, preferably.

He lets out a light cough, “Well. At any rate –I’m here with a gift!”

With Lyra, it’s always better to be direct.

Aventurine reaches to his side and brings out the newly-acquired gift he’d brought for his friend. It’s something that had taken quite a bit of effort to get his hands on –a finely-crafted blade, rumored to have been forged using ores mined from Izumo, prior to the world being subsumed in IX’s shadow. Izumo had once been known for the quality of the blades born from their forges. It was impossible to get your hands on an authentic Izumo blade nowadays, though, so Aventurine had to compromise–

The restless sensation in his chest finally eases, when Lyra curiously draws the sword, and her eyes widen. Only slightly, but Aventurine is familiar enough with the girl to clearly see the hint of wonder and delight that she makes no effort to hide in front of him.

“This is an excellent blade.”

It had better be, considering the minor fortune that Aventurine spent on it. “I’m glad you’re happy with it! I thought it might be something that you’d like when I came across it.”

Lyra’s gaze flickers towards him, arching an eyebrow. “You ‘came across it?’”

Aventurine shrugs, doing his best to seem casual about things. So maybe he’d specifically searched for a weapon that would be worthy of her and spent no small amount of effort on the endeavor… but for some reason, with Lyra looking at him like this, he–

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” the words blurt out from his mouth automatically, and Aventurine pauses at the strange feeling that her simple ‘thank you’ elicits in him.

… It’s normal to offer valuable presents to friends. Because that’s how you maintain friendships, right? Reaffirm and prove to them your own value?

So why does he–

“Thank you for the sword,” Lyra says, “And thank you for thinking of me. When you ‘came across it.’”

“Of course,” Aventurine murmurs. “We’re… friends, aren’t we?”

He glances up towards her. There’s no particular reason for it –it’s just a casual look in her direction– but in this moment, Aventurine suddenly sees it. The way her wings flutter slightly, the way the light overhead catches her eyes like jewels beneath the firelight–

The way that her lips curve faintly and he gets the impression that she smiles, just a little bit.

[shiny-jr]

Please yap away about your new Empyrean series~! I’ve been watching a bunch of videos and reading about Genshin Impact so I can better understand the world and dynamics you’re planning to write about and absolutely fascinated with everything~

Is there a specific dorm you’re looking forward to writing about or possible side arcs/missions in between the MC meeting the different Archons like the events in Twisted Wonderland? Were some of the dorm leaders easier to place as the different Archons elements than others and if so who did you struggle with?

Oh god, where do I even start? How much is too much to say? I don't want to spoil whole parts. I haven't actually written anything for it, but I do certainly have ideas. Ideas that have been accumulating slowly but surely.

Uh, I think first thing's first, none of the TWST cast are going to be just human. How unfair would it be if, say, Riddle was an archon (god) and Ace was just human? Kinda unfair. Which is why all the characters are going to be something else. I'm still figuring some of this part out.

Keep in mind, my knowledge of Genshin Impact extends as far as Inazuma and no further. Anything I know beyond that was through tiktok, that is it. So I'll be taking heavy inspirations from the first three regions.

Pairing the element to a character wasn't too hard actually. So first I focused on the archons, and I looked at the dorm leaders and what they stand for and what type of magic they use.

We know Riddle uses a lot of fire magic based off his SSR Dorm Uniform card. Additionally, the color scheme just went well with his hair color and the roses and all. At first I thought it seemed uncanny, because how could a green region based off of Britain be symbolic of the pyro element? Well, then I considered that since it borders Savanaclaw, it could make sense.

For Leona, I took into account the volcanoes that act as a natural border between his land and Riddle's. Additionally, his unique magic made it a very easy choice. I mean, turning things to sand? Slapping Geo on it and calling it a day.

On Azul's, I was actually torn. I know it seems like an obvious choice of hydro, but listen, at first I actually considered giving Kalim hydro due to his own unique magic. Then I thought maybe Azul would get cryo, but in my mind, leaving the other elements to the remaining characters just didn't make much sense. So, ultimately, Azul won the hydro element.

Giving Kalim the dendro element just happened to coincidentally align with the Sumeru region's main element. I wanted to give Kalim the next best thing if he couldn't have hydro, which was dendro. As I see it as a very "good" element with positive qualities, which he deserves.

Vil was one of the others that gave me trouble when assigning him an element. For a very brief moment, I considered giving him dendro, but that just didn't fit the sort of aesthetic I had in mind for him. Then I remember what his home region is supposed to look like, if it's similar to Epel's, it's snowy, right? So cryo was the next best option. I think it actually fits him well, if I do say so myself.

Idia was the last character to give me trouble. For a while I really was not sure about giving him the anemo element, as he just seemed like the complete opposite of Venti and his ideals. However, the longer I thought about, the more I came to terms with it. Wind doesn't have to mean just freedom. Wind can be very terrifying too, like what we see in Stormterror's Lair which is the sort of aesthetic I imagined when I finally assigned him anemo.

I mean, duh, of course Malleus was getting electro. What else did you expect? I mean, there was a second where I considered giving electro to Idia, but then giving anemo to Malleus didn't sit right with me. Electro was ultimately the best choice for this archon. It's constantly used in the games around him, he has control over it, it just made sense to give him this element.

Any other characters that are not archons will have their elemental type be based off the region they're from. HINT HINT. For example, Riddle may be pyro as he is the archon, but at least one person in Heartslabyul will not have the pyro element.

[earthlybeam]

Just some random headcanons i think that fit Legolas (my opinion) Request by @justaloserxx

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Legolas version below.

🍃𝓛𝓮𝓰𝓸𝓵𝓪𝓼

What's their love language? Legolas’ love language is a delicate, intimate expression of his deep connection with his significant other. He shows his affection through acts of service, quality time, and physical touch, each one reflecting his nature as an Elf—thoughtful, serene, and attuned to beauty and harmony.

Acts of Service as Legolas’ care for his partner goes beyond the typical gestures. He observes their needs and desires with an unmatched attention to detail. Whether it’s making sure their gear is well-maintained, creating a sheltered space to rest, or ensuring that they’re well-fed with the freshest fruits and herbs, he takes great pride in making their experience as peaceful and pleasant as possible. His love is often expressed in the quiet, everyday tasks that he performs without expecting anything in return. His gifts, too, are subtle but meaningful—an intricately carved wooden bracelet he made himself, a beautifully arranged bouquet of wildflowers he picked on a morning walk, or a rare, perfectly round stone he discovered during his travels that reminds him of their strength. To Legolas, these small offerings are intimate tokens of his affection.

Quality Time To Legolas, time with his partner is an irreplaceable treasure. He finds peace and connection in shared moments of silence, often leading them into tranquil settings where they can escape the chaos of the world. Whether nestled among the trees, gazing out over a sparkling river, or standing atop a high cliff watching the sun set, these moments away from the noise of battle or the daily grind are when he feels most connected. The lack of words in these moments doesn’t feel awkward for Legolas—it feels natural. He loves simply being in the presence of his partner, sharing in the beauty of the world together. Their presence is enough for him.

Physical Touch Although not one to display affection publicly, Legolas’ physical touch is tender and deliberate. A soft brush of fingers as they walk side by side, the warmth of his hand resting briefly on their back when comforting them, or a fleeting but meaningful touch on their arm when they’re near. His reserved nature means that he only shares deeper, more intimate physical affection in private, where he feels safe to be vulnerable. In moments of solitude, he may hold them close, offering gentle, lingering embraces that communicate his love without needing words. His kisses are always slow and deliberate, a soft brushing of lips, an expression of his deep and tender feelings. Legolas is not one to demand attention or grandiose gestures, but the way he expresses his love through actions speaks volumes. Every small gesture, every quiet moment, and every soft touch is his way of showing how much he values and cherishes his partner. For him, love is felt deeply in the smallest of acts, and it’s in these subtle ways that he reveals the depth of his affection.

How do they view their significant other? Are they the light in their life? Best friend? Savior, etc.? To Legolas, his significant other is not just a companion, but a profound presence in his long and often lonely life. He sees them as a source of strength, inspiration, and deep connection, and their relationship brings him a sense of joy and meaning that transcends the passing of time. His Light in the Darkness Having lived for thousands of years, Legolas has witnessed the destruction, pain, and sorrow that often accompany the passage of time. The world has changed, his people have faced endless struggles, and many of his friends and loved ones are gone. But his partner represents something different—a beacon of light in the midst of the shadows. They bring warmth to his heart, reminding him of the beauty in the mortal world, the fleeting but precious nature of life. Their laughter, kindness, and the simple joy they bring to even the darkest days rekindle his own hope. With them, Legolas is reminded that there is still good in the world, and that even amidst loss, love can thrive. His partner is the one who helps him find the beauty in moments he might otherwise overlook.

Best Friend and Confidant In his partner, Legolas finds not just love, but deep friendship. They are his closest confidant, the one person he trusts with his innermost thoughts, doubts, and fears. The unspoken bond between them allows Legolas to share even the things he rarely speaks of—his moments of doubt, the burdens of leadership, the heavy weight of the past. He admires their wisdom and often seeks their counsel when faced with difficult decisions, trusting their judgment above all others. The moments they share together, whether in conversation or in comfortable silence, are sacred to him. Their understanding and empathy offer him a sense of peace, and he finds solace in knowing that no matter the trials they face, they have each other.

A Partner in Adventure as Legolas has always thrived in the thrill of adventure, the challenge of battle, and the beauty of exploration. But with his partner by his side, those experiences take on new meaning. He delights in showing them the world as he sees it—the ancient forests, the vast mountain ranges, the quiet beauty of nature that few others truly appreciate. While his partner may not possess the same longevity or elven grace, Legolas admires their bravery, resilience, and willingness to learn and grow alongside him. He is proud of their courage, and he finds joy in helping them become stronger, guiding them through the challenges they face together. Their partnership is not just about survival—it’s about discovery, growth, and mutual respect. Together, they face the unknown, and that shared experience deepens their bond, strengthening their connection. For Legolas, his partner is not just someone he loves—they are an integral part of his life, his closest friend, and a constant reminder of the hope and beauty that still exists in the world, no matter how much darkness he has seen. They are both his light and his anchor, grounding him while also inspiring him to continue adventuring in this ever-changing world.

How do they act when falling out of love? When Legolas begins to fall out of love, his behavior shifts in subtle, almost imperceptible ways. His deeply ingrained sense of honor and respect for others, especially his partner, means that he would never be openly cruel or dismissive. Instead, he becomes quieter, withdrawing into himself, unsure of how to navigate the complexities of fading emotions. His actions may not be overtly harsh, but those closest to him will notice the change.

Guilt and Inner Conflict as Legolas’ elvish nature compels him to remain true to his emotions, and when those emotions begin to fade, he is struck by an intense sense of guilt. He knows that love is sacred and that his partner deserves someone who can fully return their affection. This causes a deep internal struggle, as he fights to reconcile the warmth he once felt with the growing distance he feels now. He cannot easily brush aside his feelings, and the conflict tears at him, even if he doesn’t show it. While he never intends to hurt his partner, the quiet shift in his demeanor and the absence of the once-present tenderness he showed them speaks volumes. His guilt prevents him from being as affectionate as before, and even simple gestures of love—like brushing their hair from their face or offering a comforting touch—become increasingly rare.

Reluctance to Speak Though Legolas is normally a straightforward and open communicator, when he begins to fall out of love, he struggles to put his emotions into words. His nature is not one to openly address emotional discomfort, preferring instead to withdraw into himself and reflect in solitude. This hesitation to speak can lead to a sense of confusion or distance in his relationship, as his partner might sense something is wrong but cannot easily reach him. Instead of initiating heartfelt conversations or addressing the issues, Legolas retreats inwardly, unsure of how to express his own disconnection without causing further harm. He may distance himself physically as well, pulling away from the intimacy they once shared. In his mind, he hopes that time will either resolve the feelings or that his partner might notice the change and ask what’s wrong. The avoidance of difficult conversations leaves him in a state of quiet turmoil. Despite this, Legolas is not malicious, nor does he seek to cause pain. His actions are borne from a place of internal conflict—he values his partner too much to be deceitful or unkind, but he struggles with how to handle the slow, painful process of falling out of love. In these moments, he is often most conflicted, feeling torn between his sense of responsibility toward his partner and the quiet, inevitable drift of his heart.

Will they do anything for their s/o? Will the crocodile tears win them over or are they stubborn on not giving in? Legolas is unwavering in his devotion to those he loves, offering a loyalty that is profound and unshakable. He will go to great lengths to ensure their happiness and well-being, but this devotion is rooted in a deep sense of respect, honor, and trust. He will not blindly follow, especially if he senses dishonesty or manipulation. Crocodile Tears as Legolas is exceptionally perceptive, and his years of experience have honed his ability to see through deception. If his partner is genuinely in need, he will move mountains to help them, whether it’s protecting them in battle, navigating dangerous terrain, or offering emotional support when they’re struggling. He’s not just a protector in action; he will invest time and energy in making sure their needs are met, and he finds great fulfillment in doing so. However, if his partner attempts to manipulate him—using false tears or exaggerated claims—Legolas will remain firm. His sense of honor and deep respect for truth prevents him from indulging in anything that feels disingenuous. He may not call them out directly, but his actions will become distant and measured. He’ll no longer offer the care and attention he once did, sensing that his trust is being betrayed.

Stubborn Loyalty Once Legolas has committed to someone, that bond becomes one of the most important parts of his life. His loyalty is steadfast, even in the face of adversity. If his partner is in danger, or if they need him in any way, he will put aside his own desires or comfort to help them. This loyalty extends beyond physical actions; it’s a deep emotional commitment as well. If his partner is suffering, Legolas will stay by their side, offering support and solace, even when it’s painful for him. He might take on burdens that aren’t his to carry, because he cannot bear to see his loved one suffer. His devotion comes with a price, but he would willingly pay it to ensure their happiness and security. However, this loyalty also means that once his trust is broken, the consequences are grave. He does not easily forgive betrayal or lies, and even if he still loves someone, he would struggle to ever fully trust them again. Legolas’ devotion is a rare and precious gift, one that he gives only to those who prove themselves worthy. His actions are always thoughtful and deliberate, and he never acts out of impulsiveness. When he commits, he does so fully—willing to make sacrifices and endure hardships, but only as long as his trust remains intact.

How do they kiss? Legolas’ kisses are a rare blend of gentleness and intensity, imbued with the depth of his feelings and the reverence he holds for the one he loves. His approach is thoughtful and deliberate, as if he’s savoring the moment, fully aware of the significance of every touch. Slow and Deliberate When Legolas kisses his partner, he takes his time. His lips brush against theirs in a soft, lingering caress, each kiss purposeful, as though he’s memorizing the sensation. He doesn’t rush, instead allowing the moment to deepen and unfold at its own pace. Each kiss is a quiet confession of his affection, a subtle yet profound way of showing his love.

Cradling Their Face In these intimate moments, Legolas often cradles his partner’s face with his hands. His touch is gentle, but there’s strength in the way he holds them—protective, tender, and full of adoration. He’ll run his thumbs along the contours of their cheeks or gently stroke their jaw, feeling the softness of their skin. This touch is both calming and reassuring, a reminder of his devotion and care.

Deeper Kisses in Private When the world is away and they are alone, Legolas’ kisses grow more intense. There is no rush; the deepening of his kiss is a natural progression, an expression of the passion and love he holds in his heart. His lips move with increasing urgency, though still with the same reverence. He may pull them closer, holding them as if they were the very center of his world. Occasionally, his kisses will trail down their jawline or along their neck, as he savors every inch of their skin. These kisses are full of unspoken words—pure emotions shared through touch. It’s a silent language that expresses more than words could ever convey. Each kiss from Legolas feels like a treasure, rare and precious, a reflection of the deep connection he shares with his partner. It’s a tender act, but one that carries the weight of centuries of unspoken emotion—gentle, but with the quiet intensity of someone who has lived through countless seasons, and yet finds something eternally beautiful in the presence of their loved one.

What's their favorite part of their s/o? While Legolas loves every part of his partner, there are certain qualities that captivate him in ways words can scarcely describe. These features resonate deeply with his Elvish soul, and they remind him of the rare beauty and fleeting nature of mortal life, things he holds precious.

Their Eyes as Legolas is drawn to his partner’s eyes above all else. He believes that a person’s soul is reflected in their gaze, and he finds solace and wonder in the way their eyes communicate emotions without words. Whether it’s the brightness of joy, the softness of vulnerability, or the intensity of shared love, he often gets lost in their depths. He can stare into their eyes for what feels like an eternity, feeling an unspoken connection that transcends time. In their gaze, he sees a reflection of everything that is worth fighting for—hope, beauty, and warmth in a world that has seen so much darkness.

Their Hands as Legolas is captivated by the way his partner’s hands move, the strength they possess, and the softness they convey. He loves how their hands feel in his—whether it’s a gentle touch or the comforting pressure of their palm in his. He admires the way their hands express their personality through small gestures, like the graceful way they wave, the warmth of their touch, or even the way they hold something delicately. To Legolas, holding their hand is a moment of deep peace, a grounding act that connects him to the present and makes him feel secure in their bond. Each of their fingers carries a unique story—one that he treasures deeply.

Their Voice To Legolas, their voice is the most enchanting sound he knows. Whether it’s the soft, melodic way they speak, the warmth in their laughter, or the gentle hum of a song, their voice brings him a sense of calm and joy. He finds himself listening intently to the rhythm of their speech, the way their words seem to paint vivid pictures, or how their laughter sounds like music to his ears. Every whisper, every shared story, is a treasure to him, and he delights in hearing the voice of someone he loves—a voice that makes him feel understood and at home. Each of these features—eyes, hands, and voice—are more than just physical traits to Legolas. They represent a deep connection to his partner’s inner world, a world he has come to cherish and protect. To him, they are the most beautiful parts of his partner, the qualities that embody the love, strength, and vulnerability they share together.

Are they protective? Absolutely. Legolas’ protective nature is woven into his very being, though it manifests in a way that is both gentle and vigilant. He’s not overbearing or suffocating, but rather quietly steadfast in ensuring his partner’s safety and well-being. Trust in Their Abilities While Legolas has great faith in his partner’s strength and intelligence, he cannot help but feel a deep responsibility to look out for them. He admires their courage, and he is always respectful of their autonomy. However, in situations of danger, his instincts kick in, and he takes the lead, though always with a sense of quiet respect for their abilities. He would never act as if they were helpless, but there is a certain comfort in knowing that he’s there to protect them, especially when the threat is too overwhelming.

Keen Senses as Legolas’ Elvish senses are unparalleled. He has the uncanny ability to detect even the faintest hint of danger before others, whether it’s the rustle of a leaf in the wind or the subtle shift of a shadow in the distance. He is often the first to spot threats, whether from creatures lurking in the forest or from hidden dangers in unfamiliar places. This heightened awareness allows him to take swift action to protect his partner, often positioning himself between them and the danger before they even realize the threat exists. A Silent Guardian Despite his vigilance, Legolas’ protective nature is not always loud or dramatic. He will never demand that his partner stay behind or be overly cautious. Instead, he might subtly guide them away from harm, using his presence to create a sense of security. If they’re engaged in battle, he will always position himself in a way that shields them from the worst of the danger, but he trusts them enough to fight by his side.

A Sense of Calm when Legolas’ protection extends beyond physical danger. When his partner is feeling anxious, lost, or overwhelmed, he is there with calming words and a steady presence. His unshakable confidence and sense of purpose help ground them, allowing his partner to feel that no matter the storm, he will always be there to weather it alongside them. In essence, Legolas is protective in a way that is both strong and tender. His commitment to his partner’s safety never feels oppressive; instead, it is a testament to how deeply he cares, a constant reassurance that he will always be there when they need him.

How far will they go to take care of their sick s/o? When his partner falls ill, Legolas’ devotion to their well-being knows no bounds. His love compels him to be incredibly attentive, taking meticulous care of them, and going to great lengths to ensure they are as comfortable as possible. His actions are not just born out of duty, but out of a deep-seated desire to ease their suffering and protect them. Knowledge of Herbs and Remedies as Legolas has an extensive understanding of the natural world, a skill honed over centuries spent living in the forests of Mirkwood. When his partner falls ill, he uses his vast knowledge of plants, herbs, and healing remedies. He’ll gather fresh leaves, flowers, or roots, carefully preparing medicinal teas to soothe a sore throat, create poultices for aches, or concoct calming brews to help them sleep. His gentle hands work with purpose, showing how much he cares in every detail, from grinding herbs to applying soothing oils to their forehead. The aroma of his healing concoctions fills the air, comforting both body and soul.

Comfort and Constant Vigilance as Legolas is rarely far from his partner’s side when they are sick. He ensures they are always warm and comfortable, bringing extra blankets if needed, or making sure the fire remains stoked to maintain a steady warmth. His presence is calming, a silent reassurance that they are not alone in their suffering. Even if they insist on resting, he’ll sit nearby, watching over them, his eyes never straying far. His protective instincts shine through here as well—he’ll adjust pillows, tuck them in, and attend to every little need, whether it’s fetching them water or simply sitting in quiet companionship. Determined to Find the Best Care If their illness surpasses his ability to treat, Legolas’ determination takes over. His connection to the natural world is vast, but his love for his partner makes him willing to go to extraordinary lengths to find someone who can help. If it means traveling across dangerous terrain or leaving the relative safety of his home, he will not hesitate. He’ll seek out the finest healers, ancient remedies, or forgotten magic, even if it means crossing miles of untamed land or seeking counsel from distant realms. He would not let them suffer if he could prevent it, regardless of how far he must journey.

Endless Patience While Legolas’ nature is usually calm and composed, when it comes to caring for his sick partner, he displays an infinite patience. He doesn’t grow frustrated or impatient at their condition; instead, he quietly reassures them, telling stories of their past adventures or speaking of brighter days ahead. His soothing words, though not many, are full of warmth and love. Even when they are too weak to respond, he will continue to care for them, acting as a steady and unwavering source of support. In essence, Legolas will go to any lengths to ensure his partner’s recovery. His care is thorough, patient, and unconditional, his devotion boundless. Whether using his skills with herbs, seeking out the finest care, or simply staying by their side, he will do whatever is necessary to bring them back to health. His love fuels every action, making him not just a protector, but a constant source of comfort and hope when his partner is most vulnerable.

How do they cheer their s/o up when they're down? When his partner is feeling low or burdened by the weight of the world, Legolas is there in a quiet but profoundly supportive way. His method of cheering them up is not through grand gestures, but rather through his deep understanding of their needs and his gentle care. He provides comfort through small, meaningful acts that show his unwavering love and attention to their well-being. Encouraging Nature Walks as Legolas believes deeply in the healing power of nature, and when his partner is down, he’ll invite them to join him for a peaceful walk through the forest or along a riverbank. The soft rustling of the leaves, the scent of fresh pine, and the sight of sunlight filtering through the trees bring a calmness that he hopes will soothe their soul. As they walk, he’ll listen quietly, offering his hand if they need support, letting the natural beauty of the world around them work its magic. Often, during these walks, he’ll point out small details of the environment that they may have overlooked—a hidden flower, the song of a bird, or the way the light dances on the water—reminding them that even in difficult times, beauty can still be found.

Small Tokens of Affection as Legolas has a tender way of showing his love, often giving small, thoughtful tokens to lift his partner’s spirits. Whether it’s a delicate flower he plucked from the forest, a feather he’s found on one of his adventures, or a simple sketch he’s drawn of a scene from their shared memories, these gifts are small but deeply meaningful. Each one is a reminder that they are cherished, and his attention to detail speaks volumes about how much he cares. He often tells them the story behind the gift, making each token even more special—a way to remind them that their struggles are not unnoticed and that he’s always thinking of them.

Quiet Support and Gentle Words as Legolas isn’t one to offer empty words of comfort, but when he speaks, his words carry a quiet, hopeful strength. If his partner needs to talk about their troubles, he listens intently, his eyes filled with understanding and empathy. If they need perspective, he speaks softly, offering a poetic view on their situation. He might say something like, “The dark forest always gives way to dawn. Even the longest night eventually turns to morning. Your strength is like the roots of the trees, deep and enduring. You will overcome this, just as the rivers carve their way through the rock.” His words aren’t rushed; they are chosen carefully, meant to inspire resilience and hope.

Physical Comfort If his partner is particularly down, Legolas might not speak much at all. Instead, he’ll offer them the comfort of his presence. Sometimes a gentle touch on the shoulder or a hand held quietly in his will say more than words ever could. He has a way of making them feel safe and secure simply by being there, his steady energy a constant source of reassurance.

Creating a Quiet Sanctuary as Legolas also knows that sometimes the best way to cheer someone up is by creating a space of calm. He might build a small fire or prepare a quiet evening for them—setting up a secluded spot where they can rest, free from the demands of the world. In these moments, they can share a quiet meal, listen to the sound of the fire crackling, and just be in each other’s company without the need for words. Ultimately, Legolas’ way of cheering up his significant other is not through dramatic gestures but through his deep, steady presence and thoughtful actions. Whether through the beauty of nature, a small gift, or a few well-chosen words, he knows how to lift their spirits in a way that is subtle yet profound. His quiet understanding and unwavering support create an atmosphere where his partner feels not just loved, but truly seen and cared for.

How do they react when they find out their s/o is dead? When Legolas learns of the death of his significant other, the grief he feels is profound and all-encompassing. Though he is an Elf, long accustomed to loss over the centuries, this death cuts deeply. His emotions, however, remain largely private, a quiet storm of sorrow and heartache that he doesn’t easily share with others. Grief and Isolation as Legolas’ first reaction is a deep, silent devastation. He retreats inwardly, shutting off from those around him. His grief isn’t explosive or outwardly angry, but it’s an overwhelming sadness that takes hold of him, leaving him numb. In moments like these, he will seek solace in the forests, away from the noise of others. The wilderness, where he’s always felt connected to the natural world, becomes his refuge. There, he may walk for hours, moving as if in a trance, searching for some sort of peace amid the trees that witnessed so many of his moments of joy with his lost partner. The air is thick with memory, and each familiar path or quiet glade seems to hold echoes of the time they spent together.

Songs of Lamentation as Legolas, ever the poet and lover of beauty, turns to music to express his grief. Alone in the solitude of the woods, he will sing haunting Elvish laments—songs passed down through the ages that speak of loss, love, and eternity. His voice carries with it the weight of centuries, soft yet piercing, the lyrics filled with sorrow. These songs, though in his mother tongue, carry an essence that anyone listening could feel, even if they don’t understand the words. They are not just mournful but deeply soulful, a raw expression of his broken heart. Each note he sings is laden with the memories of their love, the beauty they shared, and the anguish of losing them. His songs are a tribute to the life they lived, to what they meant to him, and to the world that now feels emptier without them in it.

Honoring Their Memory Despite the pain, Legolas is determined to carry on in a way that honors the life they shared. He would never want his partner’s death to be in vain, so he vows to continue living as they would have wanted. He might dedicate himself to causes they cared about or fulfill dreams they had left unfulfilled. To remember them, he keeps a token that belonged to his lost love—perhaps a piece of jewelry, a small trinket, or something that always had significance in their relationship. This token serves as a constant, grounding reminder of the love they shared and the lessons they imparted. It becomes his quiet touchstone, something he often holds when he feels the sting of their absence.

The Weight of Eternity For Legolas, whose life stretches over millennia, the loss of a mortal partner is uniquely tragic. He knows the pain of outliving loved ones, but it’s different with someone so close—someone who was his equal in heart and spirit. His immortality means he will live on, but the pain of losing someone who won’t is one of the hardest truths he faces. And yet, he will find strength in this knowledge, learning to hold their memory within him as a source of resilience. Though the grief may never fully leave him, he will learn, over time, to carry it with grace. In the end, Legolas’ reaction to the death of his significant other is one of profound sorrow, but also a deep reverence for the love they shared. His grief is quiet but unyielding, and his love for them never fades. Even as he moves forward, he does so with the knowledge that their spirit lives on in him, in every song he sings, in every quiet moment he holds their memory close.

What makes them worry about their s/o the most? Legolas’ concern for his partner’s well-being runs deep, and his worries are often tied to the stark contrast between his immortality and their fleeting mortal lives. His love for them is tender, yet filled with an underlying anxiety, as he knows that they are vulnerable in ways he is not. The greatest source of Legolas’ worry is the knowledge that, unlike himself, his partner’s life is fragile and finite. This disparity is something he struggles to reconcile. Despite the beauty of the mortal world and the bond they share, the knowledge that one day they will age, grow frail, and eventually pass away fills him with sorrow and dread. Every moment spent with them is both a blessing and a reminder of the inevitable. He often finds himself holding them a little tighter, gazing at them a little longer, knowing that these precious moments are limited. He worries about them in the quiet hours, especially when they show signs of weariness or sickness, as every ache or ill turn of the season reminds him of their limited time. The thought of losing them is something he can hardly bear, and yet, he faces it with a kind of resigned acceptance that weighs heavily on his heart.

Legolas admires his partner’s courage—especially if they’re someone who is willing to take risks in order to help others or to protect the ones they love. However, this bravery can also make him anxious, particularly when it leads them into dangerous situations. Whether they venture into the woods to confront a threat or pursue an adventure that might be beyond their abilities, he can’t help but worry. He’s seen too much of the world’s dangers—creatures, orcs, and perilous terrain—and the thought of his partner being exposed to such risks makes him uneasy. Though he will never stifle their spirit or desire to fight for what’s right, he can’t help but feel the weight of concern, especially when they act impulsively or rashly. His love for them makes him want to keep them safe, yet he knows that their courage is part of what makes them so special. So he worries quietly, his protective instincts sharpening with every close call or dangerous situation they put themselves in.

Illness or Injury Knowing that mortals have a more fragile constitution than elves, Legolas is particularly sensitive to even the slightest indication that his partner is unwell. A cough, a bruise, or a small cut can trigger a wave of concern in him that others may see as disproportionate. He’s well-versed in the healing arts and the use of natural remedies, but he is always conscious of how easily mortals can succumb to illness or injury. When his partner falls ill, even with something as simple as a cold, Legolas’ anxiety heightens. He will carefully monitor them, ensuring they have everything they need, from warm blankets to healing herbs, and will refuse to leave their side until they’re fully recovered. His worry extends to any sign of fatigue or injury—when they’re wounded, no matter how minor the injury may seem, it pulls at his heart. He cannot bear the thought of them being in pain, and if they ever endure an injury that cannot be easily healed, the grief is almost unbearable for him. These worries, while rooted in his deep love for his partner, also highlight the essence of Legolas’ internal conflict: his desire to protect them from all harm, and his ultimate powerlessness to shield them from the inevitabilities of mortality.

How often do they stare lovingly at their s/o? For Legolas, his love for his partner is something that he constantly observes, as if capturing the beauty of their presence in every fleeting moment. His affinity for them manifests in his gaze—an unspoken, constant adoration that never quite leaves him. Almost Constantly Legolas’ sharp elven eyesight allows him to take in the details of his partner’s movements with an ease that most would overlook. Whether they are deep in conversation with someone else, moving through a crowd, or simply standing still, Legolas is always aware of their every action. His eyes linger on them without being obvious, finding solace in the soft curve of their smile or the way the sunlight catches their hair. These moments, brief as they are, fill him with an overwhelming sense of warmth and affection. His gaze becomes more intense in quiet moments—when they are simply sitting together in the stillness of nature or walking side by side through the woods. It is a silent way for him to cherish them without ever needing to speak the words.

Subtle Glances Even when they’re within arm’s reach, Legolas can’t help but steal glances. His love is reflected in his quiet admiration, his expression softening into a fond smile whenever their eyes meet, even for the briefest of moments. When he catches them looking at him, there’s a spark of joy in his eyes, a silent connection between them. His gaze will soften with affection, and he’ll often look away quickly, only to glance back again a moment later. His appreciation for them is written on his face—his love is gentle and patient, always lingering in the way he watches them, silently taking in their essence as if committing each detail of their presence to memory.

In Quiet Moments When they’re alone, he is less reserved in his admiration. If they sit together in a quiet spot, like a tranquil grove or beside a fire, Legolas will gaze at them openly, his eyes filled with admiration. His gaze is often accompanied by a small smile, one that’s personal and private, as if they share a secret that only the two of them understand. When they aren’t speaking, he might still be watching them—letting his gaze fall on their features, the curve of their neck, the gentle movement of their hands. It is a way for him to revel in their beauty and presence, feeling a deep sense of peace when they are near him.

Secret Glances as we all know Legolas’ love also manifests in the more hidden moments, when he thinks no one is looking. In crowds or during shared moments with others, he will find opportunities to glance at his partner when their attention isn’t on him. His eyes will briefly flicker over their face, always with the same tenderness, before he looks away. These secret glances are a silent reminder to himself of how much he cares. He may find himself watching them as they talk to others, noting the way their laugh lights up their face or how they tilt their head when listening. These glances are never meant to be seen, but in them, there is an intimacy—a quiet understanding that only he fully knows. They are a way for him to steal precious moments with his partner, savoring their presence even when they’re not directly engaging with him. Every glance, whether fleeting, prolonged, or secret, carries with it the depth of Legolas’ love—a quiet adoration that he expresses through the simple act of watching them, savoring the time they have together.

How do they impress their s/o? For Legolas, impressing his partner is not about seeking praise or admiration; rather, it’s about showing them his skills, knowledge, and deep devotion in the most subtle and meaningful ways. His expressions of love are intertwined with his sense of honor and grace, showcasing his desire to keep them safe and cherished. Legolas’ talent with the bow and his agility in combat are legendary, but he doesn’t show them off for attention. When the opportunity arises, he’ll demonstrate his prowess in a way that feels effortless and natural—whether by swiftly and accurately shooting an arrow at a target or performing an elegant combat maneuver. It’s not about impressing them with his skill, but rather offering them reassurance that they are protected. His grace in movement, especially when traversing difficult terrain, will often make them watch in awe as he moves through the forest or climbs with the ease of a creature born to the trees. These displays, while showing his strength and abilities, are a subtle reminder that, with him by their side, they are safe and cared for.

Knowledge and Stories as Legolas is an Elf who has lived for centuries, and his experiences in the world have granted him an incredible wealth of knowledge. When he shares these stories with his partner, he does so with the quiet enthusiasm of someone who finds joy in imparting wisdom. He might recount tales of ancient kingdoms, forgotten lands, or adventures with friends and companions from ages past. His voice, soft and melodic, carries the weight of history, making his stories captivating. Through these tales, his partner learns not just about the world, but also about his deep connection to it. They’ll come to realize that Legolas is not just a skilled warrior, but also a man of wisdom, respect, and ancient beauty—a timeless spirit who holds the world’s secrets in his heart. His knowledge of nature, the stars, and the intricacies of the world around them are often shared in quiet moments, where he’ll point out the constellations or explain the significance of a particular flower or tree. Through these stories, he shows the depth of his affection by revealing the richness of his soul.

Thoughtful Gestures as Legolas doesn’t rely on grand displays or material gifts to show his love; instead, he showers his partner with small, meaningful gestures. A woven garland of flowers, collected during a quiet walk through the woods, might be draped over their head as a simple token of his affection. He may carve a small figurine from wood or stone—perhaps an animal or tree—something that reflects their personality or their shared connection with nature. These gifts, though humble, hold profound significance because they are made with care and attention to detail. He might also surprise them with carefully chosen items—something as small as a rare flower he’s found on his travels or a delicate leaf from a tree he knows they love. These gestures come from a place of deep understanding and affection, showing that he pays attention to the little things that make them unique.

Quiet Acts of Service Another way Legolas impresses his partner is through actions rather than words. Whether it’s building a shelter, lighting a fire, or ensuring their safety in battle, his every movement is driven by his desire to take care of them. These acts of service, though seemingly small, speak volumes about his commitment and love. He never hesitates to step in and help with whatever is needed, and his efforts are always done with a quiet elegance that mirrors his nature. It’s in these simple, everyday moments that his love is expressed most strongly—through the way he looks out for them and tends to their needs.

In Moments of Vulnerability While Legolas is strong and capable, he also has moments of quiet vulnerability with his partner. In these rare moments, he opens up about his past—the pain of watching the world around him change, the loss of friends and loved ones, and his sense of loneliness in a world that has moved on without him. Sharing these deeper, more intimate aspects of himself is a way for him to impress his partner, not through grandeur, but through the honesty and trust he places in them. It’s his way of saying that he values them enough to let them see the side of him that is not often revealed to others. Through all these actions, Legolas impresses his partner not with superficial charm or grand gestures, but with a genuine, unwavering devotion that proves he is a partner of unparalleled depth and loyalty. His love is as enduring as the ancient forests he adores—a perfect balance of passion, thoughtfulness, and devotion.

Extra bonus (these parts just for fun, love writing them 😈🙈)

𖧧 Legolas talks to the trees As a child of the forest, Legolas has a deep bond with trees. Sometimes, when alone, he can be seen standing with his back against a great oak or whispering to the wind through the leaves. It’s a calming ritual, as if the trees are offering him their wisdom. (I think this is well known fact 🤌)

𖧧 He’s a people-watcher, Legolas finds humans and other races fascinating to observe. Their mannerisms, expressions, and the way they interact with each other intrigue him. He’ll often sit in the background during campfires or gatherings, quietly watching people and analyzing their behaviors. He finds comfort in observing the complexity of mortal life.

𖧧 He dislikes wearing jewelry Despite Elves being known for their ornate jewelry and accessories, Legolas is very minimalist. He doesn’t wear rings or necklaces, feeling they are unnecessary distractions. The only piece of jewelry he wears is a simple pendant that has sentimental value, but he rarely takes it off. As the Prince of Mirkwood, he also dislikes wearing his regal Elven attire, which his father often insists he wear for formal events. Legolas finds the elaborate robes and crowns uncomfortable and feels stifled by the royal expectations, preferring the simplicity of his everyday attire or battle gear.

𖧧 He gets homesick Even though Legolas has roamed Middle-earth for many years, the call of his home in the forest is always a pull on his heart. When he’s away from the forests of Mirkwood for too long, he becomes quietly withdrawn, and there’s a subtle sadness in his eyes.

𖧧 He likes to hide things in his hair: Legolas has long, golden hair, and he sometimes hides small items in it when he’s on the move. It might be a leaf he found during his travels or a small token from someone important to him. He enjoys the secretive nature of it and the way it connects him to moments or people from the past. (Probably has comb in hair, that’s why his hair always neat and tidy 🤣)

𖧧 He has an odd fascination with clouds When he’s not staring at the stars, Legolas is fascinated by clouds. He finds the way they change shape and color over time to be incredibly calming. Occasionally, when there’s nothing else to do, he’ll lie on his back and watch them shift across the sky, lost in their endless movement.

𖧧 He’s surprisingly bad at keeping secrets While Legolas is generally reserved, if someone tells him something exciting or important, he has a hard time keeping it to himself. He’ll drop hints or sneak looks in the direction of the person he wants to tell. Eventually, his curiosity gets the better of him.

𖧧 He hates shoes as Legolas finds shoes to be incredibly restricting. As an elf, he’s used to feeling the earth beneath his feet, and the thought of covering them up seems unnatural. When he’s not in combat or on formal missions, he prefers to go barefoot or wear sandals if absolutely necessary. The feel of shoes makes him uncomfortable, and he’ll often take them off as soon as he can.

𖧧 He always remembers small details about people as Legolas has an extraordinary memory. He remembers the smallest details about people, like their favorite flowers, a funny thing they said once, or a quiet moment shared. He holds these memories dear, using them to make his loved ones feel special.

𖧧 He hums when he’s alone, Legolas has a habit of humming elvish songs when he’s alone, lost in thought. It’s a soothing, melodic sound that gives him peace and connects him to his roots. Sometimes, he’ll even hum while working—such as cleaning his bow or preparing arrows.

𖧧 He’s an early riser As someone accustomed to the rhythms of nature, Legolas wakes up with the sun. While the rest of the group is still sleeping, he enjoys the quiet moments of dawn, where he can gather his thoughts, check his surroundings, or just meditate in the calm light of morning.

𖧧 He values silence over conversation While Legolas is capable of deep and meaningful conversations, he values silence just as much. He believes that some moments are best shared in quiet, especially when he’s with someone he trusts deeply. There’s a deep peace in simply being present with another person without words.

𖧧 He’s a hopeless romantic, but can’t express it as Legolas has deeply romantic feelings but finds it incredibly awkward to express them. He often gets tongue-tied, tries to be overly composed, and ends up saying something completely embarrassing, like, “You… uh, have a good… um, presence?” His attempts to be smooth always backfire, and while his partner might think it’s endearing, he’s mortified and immediately retreats to the safety of the forest to avoid further embarrassment.

𖧧 He gets overly excited about simple things if Legolas is calm and composed most of the time, but there are certain simple pleasures that make him childishly excited. For example, if someone offers him a particularly delicious fruit or if he stumbles upon a beautiful flower he’s never seen before, his face lights up with genuine joy. He might go on about it for longer than necessary, rambling about how amazing it is, much to the amusement of those around him. (golden retriever energy ✨🙌)

𖧧 Always Eavesdropping (Accidentally) Legolas has exceptional hearing, so when he’s in the company of others, he sometimes picks up on conversations that aren’t meant for him. This leads to him overhearing awkward or private discussions. He tries to look nonchalant and avoid drawing attention to himself, but his facial expressions betray him. His eyes widen, his eyebrows furrow, and occasionally, his mouth twitches like he’s trying to stifle a laugh or an awkward comment. He quickly clears his throat and pretends like he didn’t hear anything.

𖧧 Loves to Fidget When he’s not in a battle or on a mission, Legolas often fidgets with small things—like running his fingers along a piece of fabric or flipping a stone between his fingers. It’s his way of soothing himself, especially during moments of rest or when he’s feeling anxious. The problem is, his fidgeting can sometimes distract others, especially if he starts playing with something in the middle of a serious conversation.

𖧧 Avoiding Eye Contact (In a Sweet Way) Legolas has trouble making and maintaining direct eye contact during intense or emotional moments. He might glance away when saying something vulnerable or when he’s trying to process his feelings, often focusing on something nearby, like a tree branch or his boots, rather than looking directly at the person he’s speaking to.

𖧧 Not a Fan of Surprises as Legolas dislikes sudden, loud noises or surprises, especially when they break his focus. A loud crash or someone jumping out from behind a tree will leave him momentarily startled, and it takes him a while to regain his composure. It’s not that he’s scared—it’s more that it throws him off balance and leaves him feeling a little frazzled. He likes to know everything that’s going on around him, and unexpected events disrupt his sense of control. If something catches him off guard, you might catch him muttering to himself, trying to process what just happened or mentally preparing himself for the next surprise.

𖧧 Struggles with Small Talk While he’s excellent in meaningful, deep conversations, casual chatter often leaves Legolas at a loss for words. He might give awkwardly long pauses after simple questions like “How’s your day going?” or offer overly detailed answers to “What’s up?” It’s not that he’s rude—it’s just that he doesn’t quite grasp the point of small talk, preferring more substantial exchanges.

𖧧 He has odd sleeping habits. Or rather, trancing habits. Sometimes, he’ll stand perfectly still, eyes wide open, and if you didn’t know better, you’d think he was awake. (This video perfect 🤣🤌)

𖧧 He names everything. His knives, his arrows, even the random squirrel following him on the journey. (Named it rondir), A Tree He Sleeps In, A Random Rock He Finds Beautiful, His canteen. Literally he names everything. Everything deserves a name, according to Legolas.

𖧧 Legolas’ Very Expressed Face: Legolas is incapable of masking his emotions, and his face is an open canvas for every feeling he experiences. Whether it’s a quiet moment of reflection, intense concentration, or a fleeting thought, his face shifts and molds accordingly. His eyebrows often lift in surprise or furrow in concern, and his eyes shine with joy or narrow with suspicion. Even when he tries to maintain composure, his emotions are so deeply etched into his expressions that it’s nearly impossible to hide them. His face constantly gives him away, so anyone who knows him well can tell exactly what he’s thinking—be it amusement, frustration, or admiration—just by the subtle (or not-so-subtle) changes in his features. It’s both endearing and, at times, a little amusing to those around him, as his feelings are almost always written all over his face. (Example of what I mean here can’t hide his expression 😂 being sassy bitch 💅✨)

For Other characters headcanons so far.

[ak319]

Yan G!P athlete x fem!reader

── Reece Milford

Headcanon/Intro

AN: She's here finally-ヽ（≧□≦）ノfor those of you who don't know her, she's a side character from this series.

Warnings/MDNI: none, not much in this one tho, little age gap, (reader is 20 and OC is 23-24), suggestive themes.

Where do I even begin? Reece Milford, daughter of Edward Milford, a respected real estate mogul, and Catherine Milford, a poised philanthropist who runs a foundation supporting arts and culture. Then there’s Oliver, her older brother, a sharp and ambitious lawyer. Reece is the middle child, flanked by Lily, her sweet and free-spirited younger sister. The Milford family is as sophisticated as they come each member’s life is meticulously curated, their names whispered in the circles that matter.

But Reece? She’s different. Her story doesn’t follow the same predictable trajectory. It’s on the cricket field where she truly stands out. What started at high school with local matches soon spiraled into her securing a spot on the country’s national team. The media adores her, sophisticated, charming, a heartthrob on the pitch.

In high school, it was no secret that Reece had girls vying for her attention left and right. She didn’t even have to try, her height, athletic build, and effortless charm made her magnetic. But to Reece, they were just passing faces. Sure, she’d engage in lighthearted flirting now and then, but that was the extent of it. She wasn’t interested in dating, and playing around simply wasn’t her thing. Not like... a certain someone in her circle, but that was a story for another time (lmao- we all know who that is-)

Reece had always been the type to joke a little about girls, her teasing never crossing the line of respect. But if locker room talk ever got out of hand? That’s when her temper flared. She had no patience for that kind of nonsense, and more than a few people learned the hard way not to push their luck. She wasn’t just protecting some abstract principle, either, it hit close to home. With a little sister of her own, she refused to let anyone think it was okay to disrespect women.

Despite her grounded nature, rumors swirled around her. Whispers of Reece being a "playgirl" spread through jealous lips or from the sting of rejected love letters. None of it was true, of course, but she never wasted time defending herself. She knew who she was, and that was enough. Let people believe what they wanted, she had more important things to focus on.

But....despite this Reece held very specific views about women and love, and any notions of "dating" seemed trivial in the face of her goals.

As for family life, Reece barely spent quality time with her parents, especially her mother. While her dad was often caught up in his business dealings, her mom, Catherine, had thrown herself into her foundation. Prior to that, Catherine had been a full-time housewife, focused on raising the children. Reece had often been the one to suffer from the absence, not having the constant presence of her mother like Oliver did, and now, Lily didn’t have to face the same issues either. With her mom now running a larger foundation and becoming more involved with social media and community work, Catherine had less on her plate. She got to spend more time with Lily. But Reece, as the middle child, felt somewhat forgotten as she didn't experience that with Catherine as a kid and now was often at odds with her parents, especially her mother.

As time went on, Reece's views began to shift. She became firm in her belief that women should focus on the home, that their place was to care for children, nurture the family, and run the household. To her, the idea of being a "housewife" wasn’t a limitation, it was a duty, a role that held strength in its own right. Reece swore to herself that no matter what, she would never allow her wife to treat their children the way she had felt, neglected, forgotten, caught in the emotional distance of a career-driven mother.

Though the trio never discussed this but it was clear that her brother Oliver didn’t share her views, nor did her father, but that only made her resolve harder. She knew what she believed, and she was determined to make it a reality.

But the question lingers: what’s happening off the field? What happens behind the polished exterior of this icon of strength and good sportswomanship.

The truth? It’s you. Yes, you entered the picture.

Who are you, exactly?

You were just a mutual friend of Lily’s. Yes, when you and Lily grew close, you often found yourself invited to sleepovers at the Milford estate, something Lily loved, especially since their mansion was so vast, offering plenty of room for laughter and whispered secrets. It wasn’t uncommon for you to join, and given how the family was a bit overprotective of Lily, she rarely stayed at anyone else’s house.

She couldn’t explain why, but when she caught that brief glimpse of you, how shy and nervous you seemed in her presence, it made her chuckle, and something fluttered in her chest.

When you and her first saw each other in the hallway for the first time, you had just started college. Reece was 23, still grinding away in small leagues, always pushing herself, always working tirelessly with the hope of making it onto the national team. She had no interest in distractions, not in the form of dates or anything else. Her focus was singular, her ambitions far too important.

After that, she almost forgot about you. But then one night, when Lily thought everyone was settled in their rooms, preparing for bed, she saw the perfect opportunity to sneak out at 10 p.m. She assumed Reece was out with her friends, leaving the coast clear. But imagine her shock when, as you were backing your car out of the driveway, Reece suddenly pulled up and spotted Lily sitting in the passenger seat.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Reece snapped, her voice cutting through the night air. “Why were you sneaking out, huh?”

"J-just to grab a bite, Reece. Nothing else-" Lily stammered, her voice trembling under the intensity of Reece’s gaze.

Reece’s eyes flickered to you, and her expression hardened. She stepped closer, her tone sharp and commanding. “And you!” she barked, making your body flinch involuntarily. “What example are you setting here? She has a curfew for a reason.”

“But we’re 20, not 15,” You spoke up and she was almost shocked at your unexpected retort but her anger overpowered her.

Reece’s gaze didn’t waver. “Listen to me here,” she said, her voice low but laced with authority. She took a few steps closer, towering over both of you, her eyes never leaving yours. “First of all, this is our family, and you have no say in what we do. It’s never safe out there, and considering your background, it’s clear your parents never bothered to teach you even the basics-”

“How dare you!” You snapped, a surge of anger flooding your chest. “God! Lily, you never told me your sister was such a jerk!” Her words really stung, aimed directly at your middle-class background.

“Well, now you know.” You could feel the hurt rising in your chest, but you didn’t fight it. Instead, you turned on your heel and walked back to the car, your emotions bubbling over.

"Wait no! (Y/N)! I AM SORRY- REECE WHAT THE FUCK?!-" Lily's protests and apologies were blocked as you slammed your door and sped off.

It was a mistake. A mistake to be friends with someone like Lily, someone from a world so different from yours. Your heart ached as you drove, the weight of the words hanging heavily in the air. You cried all the way home, the tears blurring your vision, but deep down, you knew it wasn’t Lily’s fault. She had always been kind, humble, everything you admired. But Reece? She was a jackass.

Lily’s calls and messages flooded your phone, but you couldn’t bring yourself to answer. The hurt was too fresh, too raw.

Back at the Milford house, things weren’t any better. Lily, devastated by your silence, found herself hating her sister even more.

“You ruined our fucking friendship!” Lily shouted, her voice thick with frustration and hurt.

“I ruined it?!” Reece shot back, incredulous. Her voice grew louder, her anger flaring. “You’re blaming me for this?”

"You shouldn’t have been so rude to her!” Lily’s words hit hard, her emotions raw and unfiltered.

"Yeah , Reece, you shouldn't have said that to her."

"Dad, please- don't side with Lily on this one. I was just pissed and I said it! And next time she will think twice before-"

"You don’t get to dictate everything, including who I’m friends with! You can’t just go around hurting people like this!"

Before Reece could respond, Lily threw her hands up in exasperation. “I never asked for this! I never wanted you to act like this!”

With a sharp exhale, Lily stormed past her sister, her anger making the house feel smaller. She marched down the hallway, her footsteps heavy as she slammed the door to her room behind her.

Reece stood there, stunned, a mixture of regret and disbelief flickering across her face. But Lily didn’t give her the chance to apologize, she was already alone in her room, seething.

“You need to apologize to your sister, Reece. We didn’t raise you to be rude, especially to a girl. You need to apologize to both of them.” Her mother’s voice rang out, sharp and disapproving.

Yeah, right, Mom. 'Raise,' my ass.

With a bitter scoff, Reece stormed off, slamming her bedroom door behind her. She flopped onto her bed, pulling a ball from the corner of the room. Without a second thought, she tossed it up and down, her eyes unfocused, lost in thought. It was a habit she had whenever she was deep in contemplation or feeling the weight of stress, letting the ball float in the air, caught only by her tired hands.

Her mind shifted from wondering how to apologize to her little sister, to a sudden, unexpected realization, how the hell was she supposed to apologize to you?

What the fuck?

She had never apologized to anyone, ever. And you...

A part of her knew that she wasn’t just pissed at you for sneaking out with Lily, but because you had no regard for your own safety either. That’s what really made her angry. You were driving here alone, just... She took it the worst way. She focused her frustration on you.

And yet, there was something else, something that amused her. How you’d gone from the shy, skittish girl, who ran off to hide in Lily’s room the moment she saw her in the hallway, to this... straight-talking, confident version of yourself.

Cute...

"You think a takeout is gonna make things right?" Lily said, scrolling through reels on her phone.

"I’ve ordered gifts for you too."

"Don’t need ‘em."

Reece set the food down on the bedside table and sat on her bed, a hint of determination settling in.

"Give me her number."

"What?"

"I need to apologize to her. (Y/N). Give me her number. Now."

Lily hesitated, sensing the mix of gentleness and firmness in Reece’s tone. With a sigh, she sent the number to Reece’s phone.

"But... I don’t think she’ll forgive that easily. And for fuck’s sake, don’t say anything stupid. She finally went normal with me, and I don’t want you messing that up again-"

"I won’t, jeez. Eat up now."

With that, Reece walked out, unable to hide the smirk that tugged at her lips as she saved your number.

────

You were, as usual, putting the clothes in their proper places, mentally planning to get started on your assignment as soon as you got to your apartment after your shift at the boutique. Okay, next, check the bags...

"Hey."

You flinched and turned around to see Reece. You didn’t say anything, just stared at her.

"Um... I wanted to sincerely apologize... for, well, since you didn’t respond to my message-"

"So you came to my workplace?"

"I had to, okay? I just didn’t want to be the reason you have any sour feelings toward my family... or even Lily."

"I don’t," you replied, trying to sound neutral, but your heart was still racing. "I mean, they’re all very nice."

They.....Not me, huh? Don't you have a way with words...

She chuckled, clicking her tongue as she restrained herself from checking you out. Fuck, get a hold of yourself.

"I understand. I’m a jackass, a jerk, a douche. Valid. I deserve that. But please, don’t make your pretty face devoid of that smile because of me."

Okay, that took you off guard.

"Um-"

"I'll be right back, okay?" With that, she stalked off somewhere in the shop. You rolled your eyes, already knowing exactly what type of person she was: rich family, big ego--oh a customer!

Minutes later, while you were helping a woman, she popped back in, several bags in her hands, bags from not only the brand you worked for, but others around the street as well.

"Here. For you."

"What?! I’m not taking this-"

"Yes, you are. You definitely are. A token of my apology."

Every item cost more than your monthly rent. Though you were kind of touched, you reminded yourself that, at the end of the day, she had once again proved, even in her apology, that she was better than you. Yes, that’s what you felt. If she had just walked away after apologizing, that would have been enough.

"No, I am definitely not."

That took her off guard. Didn’t girls love expensive stuff?

"The apology was enough, alright? I get it, you’re rich and stuff. But you don’t need to prove your sincerity. I get it. You’re protective of Lily; she’s told me that. No need for these. Please."

Hm...

"I-I get it." Did you just fucking stutter in front of a girl, Reece? You loser.

"Um, thank you for accepting it." Her voice softened, but inside, a new thought took root.

Fuck these gifts anyway. You’re going to get that fucking ring on your damn finger, no matter what. She’ll make that happen. No way you're going to reject that.

That night her eyes had lit up when she saw that you had seen her message at least.

────

What you didn't expect was a notification pinging on your phone the next day.

"Hey, wanted to ask, can I at least take you out? A little compensation for that late grab bite you missed with Lily."

You raised an eyebrow at the text. The pickup line was casual, playful even, but something in it made your stomach twist. Was she trying to make this seem like no big deal? You sighed, knowing there was a lot more to it.

Should you ask Lily about this? She might know what was really going on....

You quickly typed a response, trying to play it off lightly.

"Hi, thanks, but it’s fine really. I’m good."

You sent it before you could second-guess yourself. But as soon as you hit send, a sense of dread crept in. Was that too dismissive? Was it rude? You didn’t want to come off that way, but this whole situation felt... off.

Reece, however, wasn’t the type to take “no” for an answer. She knew that Lily was a factor in all of this. But Reece wasn't the kind of person who let things like that stop her. No, she was determined to make sure you knew how serious she was.

"Reece, c'mon. (Y/N) just told me that-"

"Yeah, so?" Reece cut her off, a sharp edge to her voice. "Can't see your sister settling down, huh?"

The insult was quick and biting, catching Lily off guard. She flinched, a mix of confusion and anger flashing across her face.

"Settling down-?! And you? Look as much as I want to believe you saying that you don't engage in casual flings, I still find it unbelievable." Lily sputtered, eyes wide in disbelief.

Reece’s eyes darkened. "Listen here, I really, really like her, Lily. Not that you’d understand what that feels like. And don't tell me you believe everything they spewed about me. I thought you knew it."

Lily's face flushed, hands balling into fists. "No you don’t! You don’t even know what love is, it’s probably just lust, the same way you feel for every other girl-"

"Lily!" Edward spoke up, his voice firm but patient. "Can you relax? There's nothing wrong with going on a date. You should be a tad bit supportive, love. And stop doubting Reece's intentions."

"But Dad!" Lily's voice cracked with frustration. "What if she hurts (Y/N)? Didn't she had a problem with her background in the first place?"

"Enough!. I will go on a date and you can't stop me!"

Neither can you.

Oliver sighed sharing a look with his mother, leaning back in his chair, his fingers rubbing his temples. "Weekend with family always has some drama going on," he muttered, half-amused, half-exasperated.

Lily felt bad...she did. Guilty for being dubious about Reece's intentions straight from the start. You are a good, kind and fun person, not to mention her very close friend. And so she decided to make things right...by texting you.

"Reece really really likes you, and trust me, she's serious about this. I've never seen or heard bout her being this interested in someone, LIKE EVER. It's always the opposite. So do give her a chance. If you want to of course . Tbh shippin' u both already. 😛

That very Sunday's quiet evening, a knock on your apartment door caught you off guard. You weren’t expecting anyone, especially not Reece. You opened the door cautiously, your heart sinking at the sight of her standing there, casual yet somehow imposing.

"Hey," she greeted with that trademark confidence that made your chest tighten, her smile a little too knowing. "Lily told me your address."

You froze for a second, trying to process the words, before realizing the implications. "Lily... told you?" you asked, though it came out more as a question to herself than to Reece. Of course, Lily had probably shared everything already.

"Yeah," Reece said, unbothered, her gaze steady. "I thought we could grab something light and simple. Just...it won't be long."

You stood there, conflicted. She had this way of making you feel as if saying no would be an impossibility. "Reece, I..." you started, but her eyes softened, and she took a small step forward, clearly unphased by your hesitation.

"Come on, just a little something. I won’t make it weird," she added, the final words almost playful, though there was something in the way she said it that made you question if you’d be able to say no.

You bit your lip, glancing back into your apartment. But what choice did you have? Saying no felt like inviting a new round of awkwardness, and she seemed determined. Besides, there was a part of you, no matter how much you tried to ignore it, that was curious about why Reece kept pushing. Also the fact you didn't have any experience dating. And then...Lily's message made your heart flutter too.

"Okay," you finally relented, your voice a little quieter than you intended. "But just a quick bite. That’s it."

A victorious smile spread across her face, her posture shifting from relaxed to almost predatory, but in a playful way. "Great," she said, turning on her heel. "Let’s go."

And that's how it began. You, dating Reece Milford.

────

Dating her was nothing short of a dream, really. She was caring, understanding, and, if you were honest, a total golden retriever in human form. Watching matches together, her dragging you to her practices while making you wear her shirts with her name.

She was protective, sometimes to the point of being a bit too much, but you didn’t mind. In fact, it was endearing in its own way. And if someone from high school or an old fling tried their luck again with a call or a text? Oh, they didn’t stand a chance. Without hesitation, she’d block them or, better yet, hand you her phone and insist you respond or answer the call with a simple, "She’s taken."

She recorded one of those moments once, and to this day, it’s still her favorite video. Even when you’re a bit shy and clearly embarrassed in it, she treasures it like gold, replaying it whenever she needs a smile.

She knows her family name intimidates you and she’s painfully aware that her own words might’ve made you feel insecure at times. That’s why now, every moment she spends with you is dedicated to ensuring you understand that her last name means absolutely nothing when it comes to you.

She goes out of her way to make it clear that her family adores you, too. In fact, she’s quick to remind you of how her mom can’t stop asking about your hobbies or how her dad brings up your name during family dinners like you’re already one of them.

And then there’s your own parents. Your dad, especially, was practically beaming when he found out you were dating a daughter of such a prestigious family in the city. She teases you about it sometimes, calling you her “mom's favorite,” but deep down, she loves how everyone can see what she already knew: you’re perfect for her, and no family name, no status, could ever change that.

You glance at your reflection in the car window for what feels like the hundredth time. The dress you’re wearing, a simple but elegant number Reece insisted looked "absolutely stunning" on you, suddenly feels all wrong. Too plain? Too tight? Too loose? Too… not enough?

Reece parks the car in front of the grand gates of her family’s estate, but instead of stepping out, you sit frozen, clutching your bag like it’s a lifeline.

“Hey,” Reece’s voice is soft, her hand finding yours. “You good?”

You bite your lip, debating whether to admit the truth. But she knows you too well, and the furrow of her brow tells you she’s already figured out something’s off.

“I just…” You let out a shaky sigh, your gaze dropping to your lap. “I don’t know if I’m… if I look… right for this. For them.”

Reece is quiet for a moment, and when you finally glance at her, you see her jaw tighten, her hazel eyes narrowing like she’s preparing to fight someone.

“Are you serious right now?” she asks, her voice a mix of disbelief and affection. “You’re worried about how you look?”

You nod hesitantly, avoiding her gaze. "I just… your family’s um so perfect y'know. I just..."

Reece leans back in her seat, running a hand through her hair as if trying to figure out how to respond. Her heart breaks at your sullen expression. Then, without warning, she reaches over, cupping your face gently but firmly, forcing you to look at her.

“First of all,” she says, her voice low and steady, “you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, and always will be, and nothing anyone says or thinks is going to change that. Got it?”

You nod, though her words only make your throat tighten more.

“Second,” she continues, her thumb brushing your cheek, “my family is going to love you because I love you. And if they don’t, that’s their problem, not yours. You’re not the one who has to prove anything. You’re everything, okay?”

You manage a shaky smile, but she’s not done yet.

“And third…” She grins now, her usual playful smirk returning as she presses a quick kiss to your forehead. “If anyone even thinks about making you feel out of place tonight, they’re getting an earful from me. Got it?”

You laugh softly despite yourself, and she beams at the sound, leaning back with an exaggerated sigh of relief.

“There’s my girl,” she says, squeezing your hand as she steps out of the car and moves to your side to help you out. “Now come on. Let’s show them how lucky I am, yeah?”

Reece is not only your girlfriend but your own personal trainer too.

Her apartment’s (she made you move in after a month) personal gym has become your second home, or, at least, that’s what she likes to say while dragging you out of bed for "just twenty minutes of movement."

"C'mon baby, you can skip ten more. You are literally the strongest person I've met." Says your girlfriend currently bench pressing twice your weight.

She’s the kind of person who genuinely believes in balance but refuses to compromise on some essentials. Like fruits. Every. Single. Day. She’ll hand-feed you slices of apple or shove a peeled orange into your hands with a pointed look until you take a bite.

Her healthy meals aren’t just food; they’re little love notes wrapped in nutrition. Protein shakes? Homemade. Greek yogurt with berries? Perfectly portioned. Occasionally, though, she’ll surprise you with your favorite snacks because, as she says, "You’ve earned it for putting up with my bossy ass."

On the days when you feel too lazy to move, Reece doesn’t push. Instead, she adapts. She insists you keep her company in the gym because "your laugh is better than any playlist." You end up sitting on the mat with a bowl of fruit she force-feeds you because of course, “You will finish that, or so help me”, while she works out.

And if you’re feeling extra lazy, you’ll drape yourself over her back while she’s doing push-ups, giggling as she huffs and teases you about being "the cutest weight she’s ever lifted."

What makes it all worthwhile is how much she genuinely enjoys your presence. Whether you’re crushing a workout together or just lounging on the floor, her gaze always holds the same message: she wouldn’t want to be doing this or anything without you.

Reece absolutely adores the height difference between the two of you, maybe a little too much, if you’re being honest. It’s her favourite excuse to treat you like her personal doll.

When she’s in a playful mood (which is often), she’ll suddenly scoop you up, spinning you around effortlessly until you’re laughing and swatting at her arms. “Put me down, Reece!” you’ll protest, but she just smirks and says, “Not until I hear that laugh again!”

And those moments when you two disagree? She’s terrible at taking you seriously. You’re standing there, ranting about whatever it is, but all she can focus on are your eyes, especially the way they narrow when you’re annoyed.

"Are you even listening to me?!" you demand, glaring up at her.

She should be, but instead, she’s trying not to grin like an idiot. “Hmm? Oh, sorry, your angry face is just too cute."

That, of course, makes you even more pissed, which only makes her love it more. "Can you for God's sake listen and take the shit I am saying seriously?!"

Eventually, she stops your words in the most Reece way possible: by sweeping you off your feet (literally) and carrying you to the bedroom.

“REECE PUT ME DOWN! WHAT THE HELL?!”

"Yeah, yeah," she says, laying you down gently before hovering over you with a mischievous grin.

She starts peppering kisses all over your face, your cheeks, your forehead, lips, your nose, until you’re squirming and trying to push her away through your laughter.

"Stop it! You idiot!"

“There’s that smile,” she says triumphantly, finally stopping but not before stealing one last kiss on your lips. “Mad at me now?”

You sigh dramatically but can’t help the grin tugging at your lips. "I just hate you sometimes!"

Speaking of you and the bed... Reece is an absolute softie when it comes to you. No matter how tough or confident she might seem to the rest of the world, with you, she's nothing but gentle, which sometimes is really hard for her to do when all she wants to do is wreck and eat you all up. During those intimate moments, she treats you like you're made of glass, careful, attentive, utterly devoted. And afterward, when she's finally worn herself out, she holds you close, her arms wrapped around you as if to shield you from everything else.

Hearing her teammates call her "Cap" during practice or games might boost her ego, sure. But it doesn’t even come close to the power trip she feels when she hears it from your lips, soft, breathless, or even better as a whimper, and just for her.

“Say it again,” she murmurs, her voice raspy and low, her gaze heavy-lidded as she brushes a stray strand of hair from your flushed face.

And when you do, she smirks like she’s just won a championship. To her, nothing else in the world compares to that moment, to you.

But not everything...is that easy right? Not this dreamy. And you realized this after you got the ring on your finger after 2 absolutely beautiful months together.

── AN: Dw, there will be a second headcanon or different scenarios showing Reece's toxic side as well.

[moki-dokie]

also i think this just perfectly highlights this sort of specific mentality we see so often when discussing blockades people face in life - but you see it most around discussions about disability.

"Well *I* can do it" and "Just get ___" are two common rhetorics that get lobbed at you all the time.

Like, for one thing we are not talking about individual cases here, but thousands to millions. That you can find a solution yourself does not automatically mean it's a solution for the millions we're talking about. If it was, there wouldn't be a problem to begin with.

And lets be honest, if you're making a meal with TEN servings for $15 or under, it is not going to be a fully nutritional meal. Basically the only meals that can be made at that price are going to be staple grains or beans and MAYBE if you are very lucky, a very small amount of very cheap and low-quality meat. Sure, that's fine occasionally - it isn't detrimentally unhealthy - but it isn't the kind of meal you should be eating every single day for every single meal. Not only does your body require more nutrients than that, but you'll very quickly find how much worse bad, bland food can make your depression and a shitty situation worse.

There was a time when you could make alllll sorts of meals for $15 or less. Pretty healthy meals too! Ones that could last you a few days, even. But that was at a time when cans of tuna were still like 30c and less, when canned veg was like 20c, when eggs were not even a whole dollar for a dozen. i'm very fortunate that where i live is like cattle paradise and thus we have incredibly low-cost beef compared to the rest of the country, but even still it's hard to find your basic chuck roast under $10 now. fucking chicken breasts are hard to find for under $10. CHICKEN!!

and, let us not forget that minimum wage has still not yet raised since 2009. yet our jobs have grown exponentially harder and more stressful, our hours longer, commute times worse, and our general health is in the shitter bc nobody can afford having just a routine primary care physician anymore.

Yet the mentality is still somehow stuck in this early 00s era. That lifestyle is not sustainable anymore. Hasn't been for a long time.

And as for "just get ___" okay, so tell me how? Is someone without an appliance to cook with meant to just starve themselves for a week to save in order to buy said appliance? yes, you would save money if you could get a thing to cook with, but in the meantime you still have to eat. and yet again that doesn't address any other blockade that there may well be. so maybe they get like, a toasteroven and a hot plate. awesome. now what good is that if they come in from a 10 hour shift at 9pm and have only enough time to shower before needing to get to bed for the next day's shift? how does having that appliance help them if they can't physically operate it? how would having a hot plate save any money if their dietary needs are far too costly from a grocer? If they have no place to store cold ingredients?

It isn't about individual issues. It isn't just ONE thing that has caused this big stupid problem. solve one thing and there's seven more problems still blocking the ultimate solution. It's a whole fucking mess of issues that continue to get worse and worse as capitalism continues to suck up more of our lives.

and you know what, i'll be the first one to admit that SOMETIMES, yes, i am just fucking lazy. But most times, I'm faced with like five different blockades and some of them aren't even shit I listed - like sharing a house with three people who work very different shifts and when *I* have time to use the kitchen, I run the risk of waking someone else up. Even if nothing else stood in my way, I only have the ability to cook without disturbing someone 1 day a week. i can only imagine what a nightmare it must be for folks with 4 and 5 housemates on different schedules.

there's been a bit of a Hot Topic going around bsky (and twt too i guess) about why my age group (particularly in the US) doesn't cook at home much anymore

and there's been a whole lot of takes ranging from dogshit to good and intelligent to total confusion from folks in other countries. neat stuff right. decided to throw my 2 cents in from my own perspective as part of the demographic.

the tldr of it being: there are *several* factors that make it not worth it nor cost efficient anymore where it once was. obviously that isn't gonna be the case for everyone, but it is the case for an overwhelming majority, me included. and this isn't even including, you know, a whole population of disabled people who are physically unable to cook for themselves but I sort of figured that was a given. but maybe not, considering...

then this absolute genius comes in

thank you buddy for having no reading comprehension and missing quite literally every single point i made that it isn't strictly about the dollar amount of the meal itself. like. okay??? good for you i guess.

sure, there will be some meals where that is very true. I could make a bigass pot of ham and beans that'll last me a whole week for about $10. hence why i added there will always be some meals cheaper to make at home. but that completely disregards every. other. point.

it is not, and has never been, about the direct cost of the meal itself. that's just one of a handful of reasons that factor into the whole conversation. there are going to be times that eating out will be more expensive price-wise, but when it checks off like 5 different boxes i couldn't fulfill myself for whatever reason, that price balances out. and we really are in an age where we're having to negotiate the worth of every action we take and every minute we spend on something. i don't know why thats such a hard concept for people to grasp.

legit nobody is arguing it *should* be this way. it shouldn't. we all recognize this. in the ideal world it would be both worth it and affordable to make every meal at home and leave eating out for special occasions, as was the case when i was growing up. and i totally get it that our parents, many of whom raised us by their lonesome, managed to do it fine so in theory we should be able to as well. sometimes, yeah, it really is a matter of sucking it up and doing it no matter how exhausted you might be. that's true for all facets of life tbh. but it shouldn't be that way all the time every time.

and, i don't know about the rest of you, but for us? it really was a whole fucking To Do to clip coupons and plan Shopping Day. I'd spend a couple hours clipping from a few different newspapers and the mail fliers we collected. then we organized them by store. then mom would plan out which stores we would go to for which items,the route we'd take since sometimes it meant going outside of town, the timeframe for everything since it was typically an all-day event. like, a whole day of planning and a whole day of executing JUST to grocery shop, and that was back in the 90s/00s. Inconvenient, yes, but still actually worth the trouble. couponing saved SO much money back then, especially if you knew the stores that would double them. coupons like those don't exist anymore. period. now the ones that do are like, pennies off or bogo deals and otherwise it's app this and app that for any sort of savings - which even then might only be like a meager 10% off the purchase. in no way is it worth my time and effort today to do the same thing we did when i was young.

anyway. so yeah. for a hell of a lot of us, sometimes going out to eat or ordering in is in fact the most worthwhile way, and sometimes even the most cost efficient way, to feed ourselves anymore.