#I just think there's different qualities to the 'What

[shanastoryteller]

Hi shana! Hope you have a great day!

Bit of a strange question ... So, the recent ao3 maintenance had me read through your mdzs fics again (I love lynchpin so much!) and it had me notice something: there are quite a few redemption fics for pretty much any chara out there, except for jin zixun. And tbh, I wouldn't even know how to start writing one for him, but I thought, shana's a really good author, maybe she would have an idea?

Obviously not asking for a fic, more like, if someone challenged you to write it, how would you go about it?

weeellllllllll

i don't think jin zixun really needs to be redeemed

what's he guilty of, really? he's an asshole, sure, but he's not evil. he doesn't betray anyone. he doesn't scheme. he doesn't lie. he's just a chess piece, manipulated and used and ultimately discarded. he hates wei wuxian because he's rude to jin zixuan, because the rumors of his relationship with jiang yanli sully jin zixuan's reputation in turn. hating wei wuxian doesn't make him evil. in both lynchpin and become tomorrow i try and write him as a jerk, but not a bad guy

however if we were to make him likeable, when it comes to tweaking characters enough to polish them up without making them unrecognizable, you gotta ask yourself three questions

what is his best quality?

what's his worst quality?

how can his best quality be used to soften his worst quality?

i'd say his best quality is his loyalty and his worst is his gullibility. you should also look at the inverse of this - his worst quality is his loyalty because it leads to him doing stupid shit and acting like an asshole when it's not necessary, and his best quality is his gullibility because phrased another way, he's unthinkingly trusting of certain people.

so you'd take the person he's loyal to - jin zixuan - and make him a good sympathetic character. you'd give jin zixun's overprotectiveness a reasoning - such as jin zixuan feeling constrained by the expectations of his station and father's reputation keeping him from acting as freely as he'd wish - and you'd use this to soften his gullibility by having him trust jin zixuan completely

looked at like this, jin zixun's foil is wei wuxian. he acts for jin zixuan as wei wuxian acts for jiang yanli, with similar reasoning, and similarly potentially disastrous results. we find wei wuxian good and compelling and sympathetic. why not jin zixun?

often i think the best thing to do is not necessarily adding or subtracting to a character, but taking the traits they already have and shifting them just enough to show a different angle, like holding a prism up to the window to make a rainbow. there's something good in there already. you just gotta look at it the right way

[pillow-priestess]

What You Really Are

2.3k word story about a proud fae recognizing a 'human''s lack of humanity, and treating it accordingly by welcoming a new pet to Her estate. Content warning for one quickly quashed moment of suicidal ideation.

SNAP.

The grand double doors of the manor swung open behind me at their Lady’s beckoning, letting a rush of cool air into the entrance hall. With a sadistic smile and a glint in Her caprine eyes, She materialized a silver spear from the air, gripping the haft and slamming it twice on the stone floor, creating two deep echoing booms that made me jump a little. Distantly, I could hear the baying of hounds. 

“Well? The Hunt has begun, little guest. You have ten minutes to flee into the forest, before my pets and I allow ourselves to follow. They’re already counting down, so I’d pick up the pace if I were you.” 

The sheeplike fae smirked, obviously looking forward to the inevitable end of Her Hunt. 

“Show us a good time, and perhaps I’ll grant you a place in the kennel! Otherwise, it’ll be straight to the kitchens for… tonight’s��”

The expression faded, Her divine face shifting into a quizzical look as She realized I hadn’t moved, hadn’t even looked behind me at my supposed escape offer. I simply stood, shoulders sagging, tiredly meeting Her gaze. I knew this wasn’t how it’s supposed to go. I should be reinvigorated, adrenaline should be pumping through me, I should be running and bounding and grasping and clawing at the chance to survive and escape Her realm. But it wasn’t happening. I was exhausted. Not even this could change that. 

I opened my mouth to speak, but had to cough before I could even get some words out. It was dry and rattling, but was enough to clear my throat, at least.

“Just… get it over with. I’m not gonna give you a good hunt. I can’t,” I sighed. I was tired before I’d stumbled my way into Her woods, and being welcomed into Her manor only exacerbated that. I found my eyes sweeping the hall again, taking in the pastoral paintings, the soft carpets, the plush furniture. All things that a true Lady of the Fae would use to decorate Her estate, and all things that would be more than welcome back at my home. Looking at them exhausted me. Even if I made it back to the human realm, even if I went back to my life and my job and my little apartment, I’d never be able to stop thinking about how nice this place seemed. How I’ll never be able to afford anything of this quality. Given the choice between that and a quick end at Her feet, well…

“I’m… sorry, I guess. Clearly you enjoy this. But it’s just not worth the effort for me. I couldn’t give you a good time if I tried,” I looked back to Her, and found Her emotionless expression matching my own. “I hope I at least make a good meal for y-”

SNAP.

The doors closed smoothly, with none of the dramatic impact they’d had before. She released Her spear, and it dissipated into the aether it’d come from. Her hooves clicked softer than they should have on the stone as She took three slow steps towards me. The Lady towered over me, at least twice my height, but She crouched down to lift me up to Her in a hand big enough for me to sit on. Despite my exhaustion, a twinge of fear rippled through me, but Her other hand gently gripped my shoulders from behind to ease my shiver. She was about as warm as I expected, given the well groomed light brown wool that covered Her arms and legs. A finger tilted my head up, not letting me look away as She got a close and deep look into my eyes. No, not into my eyes - into something deeper, behind them, within me.

“Oh,” She muttered, eyes lighting up as She realized something. “Oh. I see. I understand now, dear. I’m sorry for scaring you.” 

There was a gravity behind Her words that resonated deeper within me than I expected. This was a different side of Her, now, one that wasn’t normally shown to humans. A true Lady would never admit wrongdoing to something not of Her home, something so beneath Her. So why was She apologizing to me? 

The hand that wasn’t holding me swiveled around my head, and two digits pressed into my scalp and rubbed themselves down my neck and back. I shuddered, and it wasn’t from fear this time. Her touch was so firm yet comforting, and that warmth of Hers seemed to bloom down my spine in a gentle wave. There was a light, soft, musical noise between us, and it took me a second to realize it had spilled out of my mouth. 

“Wh… what do you…?”

She stopped me with another long, drawn out stroke across my back, and I almost gasped at the pleasure.

“Shhh. Don’t speak, little one. You don’t deserve to put yourself through things that don’t befit you.” 

Something about that was like a dam breaking in my mind. I didn’t need to speak? It was an odd thing to hear, but inexplicably welcome to my tired brain. I grunted, nodding, and nuzzled into the next couple pets She deigned to give me. 

“Yes, I see now. You wouldn’t make a sporting Hunt at all. I only hunt humans, those silly little things; they make for the most entertaining game. Few escape, and most are ultimately made tired enough to give in and accept a life as one of my pets.” 

She was talking more to Herself than to me, and my mind barely processed most of the words. They were like a blanket running over my brain; soft, comforting, but nothing that I cared to stop and grab and focus on. At least until the end. Something about… ‘life as a pet’...? 

She noticed me stirring, and graced me with a beautiful smile. 

“That’s right. You don’t need to go through all of that. You’ve never been human, have you? You wear their form, but not by choice. It’s wrong on you. It’s a performance. Like a hound standing on two legs to please its master. But it gets so tiring after so long… and you’ve never truly been rewarded for it, either…” 

That got my attention. What was She talking about? I… of course I was human. I spoke human words and thought human thoughts and worked a human job and engaged in human society, just like a good human is supposed to. Sure, it was tiring, and I’d been struggling to stay afloat since the beginning of adulthood, but that’s life, isn’t it? 

“No, dear. That’s not what life is supposed to be. Not even for most humans, and certainly not for an animal like you.” She punctuated the statement with a hug, pressing my body into Her chest, rubbing my front into the silken fabric of Her long dress. It felt divine enough that I didn’t even consider the fact that She’d somehow read the thoughts right out of my mind.

“And I couldn’t live with myself if I was needlessly cruel to a poor little animal shivering on my doorstep…” 

Her words’ nuance to me was starting to dissolve, again. I was comfortable here. Warm. Safe. Held. That’s what mattered. She wasn’t going to hunt me, and She wasn’t going to let me go back to that old life, either. She’d seen some kind of undeniable truth about me, and the way She was treating me, I didn’t see any reason to fight or question Her. Especially when being held like this was preferable to mustering any energy to move around. 

She turned, still cradling me, starting to walk deeper into Her manor. Her hand continued to stroke and pet me, keeping me pressed into Her bosom, nice and warm and comfortable as She carried me into the unfamiliar. Even as She stepped onto the soft carpets of the inner halls, the soft footfalls of Her hooves still seemed as powerful and attention grabbing as the clacking they made on stone. I could hear other footsteps passing us in both directions, the clink of jewelry, the ruffling of dresses, quiet greetings and gratitude offered to Her that I never fully processed. She met each of them with an approving nod, but only continued to mutter to me, soothing me with a constant stream of words. 

“Now, the question lies, what exactly are you, hm? Normally, visitors from your realm become one of my hounds, and live a most entertaining life throughout my estate. They play and hunt and entertain my guests, but I suspect that that life might be a little high energy for you. No, you’ll be a different kind of pet, I think.

Perhaps a cat? There are several that wander my grounds or accompany my daughters. Cats have all manner of dispositions, and a little thing as soft and warm as you would fit in well… but not perfect. No, I don’t think you’re a cat, either. Too independent.” 

I found myself agreeing with every word. Maybe I would make a good pet. She was already being so nice to me, and I didn’t even properly belong to Her yet. The idea of staying with Her forever, to be adored and doted upon, as a simple animal in Her care… the exhaustion gripping my body had fully shifted from stress to need. 

“Not a bunny either, or a ferret. Much as I’d love another adorable little fuzzball for my collection, I can’t exactly see you zooming about in a playful frenzy, dear. No…” 

I heard the creaking of a wooden door, and my Lady took several final steps before sitting and sinking into a large plush armchair. With a lap to better hold me, now, She pulled me out of the indentation I’d made in Her dress to lay me across Her thighs. I dazedly blinked up at Her, eyes adjusting to the dimmer candlelight of what was clearly a private room. She smiled warmly down at me, once again filling me with that lovely warmth of simply pleasing Her. Yes, that definitely confirmed it. I was made to be Her pet. 

Sensing my renewed understanding, She began to pet me with both hands, one continuing to rub down my head and back while the other traced circles over my stomach. I moaned with pleasure, doing my best to nuzzle into Her touch, lightly squirming to help Her get my most sensitive spots. The motion seemed to inspire something in Her, and Her smile glinted with satisfaction. 

“Ah! Of course, it’s so obvious! And exactly the kind of pet I need, to boot!” 

I whimpered in Her lap, anticipation building for Her verdict. I needed this. I needed to be told what I am. I’d waited so long, pursued the wrong answer all my life. This is what I deserved. Becoming Her perfect pet would be the kind of freedom I never had the space to search for. 

The hand behind me cradled my head, and I gasped as She brought me up close, filling my vision with Her divinely beautiful face. She drew a finger up my collar, up my neck, stopping at my chin with a pointed nail pressing into my chin.

“You,” She stated firmly, without any room for doubt, “are my beloved, prized, gorgeous snake.” 

I was, I am, Her snake. The concept had never entered my head before that moment, but it shattered any remaining delusions like a bullet through a window. My body tingled all over, shuddering at the sensation, yearning to be granted my true form at Her desire. And, as She continued to cradle and explain to me, I began to change. 

“It’s so simple, but so perfect, isn’t it? You’re not loud, or haughty, or excitable. You’re soft. You’re content with me, on me, around me. All you need to do is keep warm and fat and satisfied, and I can provide you with that for as long as you live.”

Feeling had left my limbs. My skin was shifting, stretching, reshaping itself at Her unspoken command. I couldn’t stop staring at Her loving face, even as the perspective and colors through which I saw the world changed alongside my body. 

“And such a pretty snake you are, too! Those gorgeous glimmering scales, such a perfect orange and white to complement my wool… oh, and look at how big you’ve grown in my care! You could wrap yourself all around my forearm, now, couldn’t you?”

She was right. My scales were beautiful, so soft and shiny for my owner. She’d taken such good care of me, and wrapping around Her to show my gratitude always felt divine! I happily, lazily slithered around the hand that had been holding my head, then down Her arm and back up again, nuzzling Her palm and tasting it with flicks of my tongue. My heightened sense of smell meant that I constantly took in Her scent, and it felt wonderful to my little snakey brain. It felt right. It was where I belonged. 

I was rewarded with more strokes down my head and upper body, and with a practically glowing warmth from Her body heat that more than made up for my lack of it. She cooed over me, Her newest pet, standing back up and bringing me up to Her face for a kiss on the snout. I submitted happily, coils loose on Her arm with contentment, elated to be Hers in body and soul. Her hand shifted to one of Her great curling horns, touching it with two fingers in a gesture I already understood to mean ‘move here.’ I slithered off of Her wool and onto the curving keratin, practically a playground for me to wrap myself over and around. 

As She left Her private room with me proudly displayed amongst Her horns, I snaked my way over to Her ear, curling around it lightly and nuzzling my head underneath. I couldn’t see from this angle, but I knew She was smiling at me. 

She always would be. 

She always is. 

I couldn’t be a luckier pet. 

[abyssalpeach]

in the case of the people vs. bell's hells...

and also the campaign 3 finale overall. disclaimer: this is gonna get long bc of my propensity to yap so i'm gonna simultaneously try to keep it short but also put it under a "read more." spoilers will be referenced throughout.

i wouldn't call these rent-lowering gunshots, but i desperately need some of the folks in this fandom to get a grip. so instead i'm asking: walk with me. hold my hand. i am looking you in the eyes and want this fandom to be a nice place. please forgive me for any attitude but i am tired of being talked down to.

"they never faced any consequences" consequences are the result bad dice rolls. of which they had plenty. if you think their narrative choices should have resulted in more punishment, say that. but i think you missed the part where they have targets on their back from several factions and now-mortal deities and you need to kill the cop in your head.

"it was too confusing and the pacing was bad" i don't even disagree with this takeaway. i will say this was actually the easiest campaign for me to follow. m9 is so fun, but was very narratively scattered at times. however, i think this is just the nature of ttrpg/actual play. it's not scripted. it's messy and sometimes you'll zone out about it. sometimes what the players want isn't what grabs you personally. it doesn't mean they're wrong or bad to play it that way.

"i fell off c3 and everything i've heard about the finale is stupid" fall off, then. totally fine, i'm not here to stop you, sincerely. and not to hurl cliches, but with tabletop it really is more about the journey than the destination. without context, you are missing too many pieces to pass judgement. that's all i'm gonna say on that.

"the other PCs were just so much better" i gotta say this one seems like a skill issue lol. there's not a single party i haven't loved with my whole heart, but they satisfy different purposes or dynamics! vm was destined for greatness. m9 was destined to pull important strings. bh was destined to shake up the order of things. they were supposed to be controversial in-world. they're salt of the earth, rising far beyond their stations ever expected. they became important at work and it very nearly ruined their lives.

"it was like sitting in a philosophy 101 class" praytell what philosophy classes that you've sat in discussed the ethics of magic, direct divine involvement in human* lives, and potential outcomes that would come along with killing all the gods or releasing something called the god-eater. look. i grew weary with the rehashing of these conversations too, really i did. that said, i think it needed to play out this way in order for the finale to go the way it did.

allow me to explain. one of the defining qualities of bell's hells was how different they all were. whether it's their perspectives, life experiences, backgrounds, desires, aspirations... you get it. this was the point. they were bound together by compassion and love for each other. and this extended to those they stood for personally, and those their friends cared about. it was how they approached ruidus, the gods, the people of vasselheim. and they walked the walk and trusted the process, prepared to face anything. including death.

*obviously including all exandrian/ruidian races beyond just human

"the finale cheapened the ending of vox machina" it didn't. i'm sorry but it very fundamentally did not and if that's your takeaway from a change of circumstance ~30 years down the line, i am worried that you are too lost in the sauce due to favoritism. if your takeaway from vax being allowed to return to the material plane is that now his conclusion from 30 years ago was just him going on a work trip, that is a you problem.

the narrative doesn't treat it like that. the characters don't treat it like that. the cast doesn't treat it like that. let me repeat myself: if you think vax's c1 ending is now nothing more than a glorified work trip, that is a you problem.

life goes on. the state of the world is changing constantly, especially in a world with gods and magic and different planes of existence. matt allowed these players to have direct involvement in the ways it changes. if vax was allowed to return in some capacity as a result of those changes, the cast made that happen. it wasn't even on bell's hells priority list! this was a natural change of circumstance. if that's the kind of thing you find upsetting, maybe unpack that elsewhere.

i'm gonna wrap it up here but i hope you keep this in mind: if you don't like a thing anymore, you can absolutely drop it. you don't need anyone's permission. but what i ask is that if you want to engage in thoughtful conversation and criticism about it, you keep these things in mind.

i don't believe this show or cast to be above criticism. i have plenty of critiques of my own. but the campaign three finale was the opposite of bad. it was the most satisfying conclusion we could have possibly gotten. it was the culmination of the last 3 years with almost everyone who encountered bell's hells and honored the last 10 years of their hard work. i am so so proud of matt and the cast and i think you should be too.

[arcane-ish]

@sorceressofthesky

I hope it's okay that I pull this out as the threads can have a tendency to get very long :)

Personally, I find it super hard to buy that that Silco was the one who talked Caitlyn's mom into building the ventilation systems after he took over from Vander.

Part of it is: if Silco was that good at talking to the council and getting them to do pro-Zaun things, why would he stop talking to them? Especially since season 1 shows how easily the council can be swayed into granting Zaun independence. I always read it as Silco not being interested in the council and not paying much attention to it, maybe because he has a low opinion of it. If he was already that involved with the council in the past, it just seems like big events from Jayce becoming a councilor, Heimerdinger being ousted or the Piltover reaction to the bridge massacre would be something he would show more interest in then he does.

The other part of it is that the Kiramman vents just … feel older? From the pathos of Caitlyn being handed the Kiramman key like it's a family tradition to the picture that presumably show the vents being opened. Either by a young Cassandra or by some even older ancestor. It just seems like if the vents were being built not just within Caitlyn's lifetime but also while Caitlyn is already pretty grown, it just seems like that would have come up?

The women is opening the vents together with miners in the background, evoking more the young Silco and Vander era.

And she's wearing the same or a very similar outfit to the portrait in the middle which is why people think either very young Cassandra or Cassandra's mother.

I'm not sure if I find the idea that Cassandra wouldn't know about the plight of the undercity just because a very sheltered girl like Caitlyn didn't know all that plausible. We know she is sheltered because Cassandra even ordered for her to do boring prestige guard duty rather than even encounter just crime in Piltover. So if she has never been to the undercity and the papers don't write about it, how would she know?

And while the Pilties maybe are unlikely to casually care about the plight of the Zaunites, árguably them caring if it impacts their business is well in character (there's this really cool WIP by @out-there-tmblr that is just doing a plot about how the mines dug to deep, the Gray is getting worse so miners are start refusing to work those particular shafts so the Piltie engineers are coming in to install vents that imo feels plausible in "that's what Pilties would do" way).

And again, if Silco was responsible for it, why wouldn't he show up in those pictures compared to the Kiramman woman posing with miners? (it doesn't help that modern Zaun feels like it's more about factories than about mines)

So yes, I definitely leaning towards the vents being older based on the look of the Kiramman woman. But it being done within Vander and Silco's youth I think is an interesting idea.

I personally find it generally confusing how bad the air situation is. Yes the enforcers wear masks in Act 1, but none of the locals do. Then we have the sumps. The implications are that the sumps are low and "the bad parts" right?

So a headcanon could be something like:

Silco and Vander and some of the chem barons are young => The Gray is bad.

Cassandra installs the vents => air quality gets better. Maybe sections that weren't livable before are livable now.

Silco and Vander take their mining knowledge and maybe carve a middle section, somewhere between the upper levels that are already lived in by people and maybe too expensive and the sump that is still dark and shitty to live in.

There being more air systems in Silco's time could be advances in technology or it could be the factories causing a new, different type of pollution?

(an interesting facette here is the AU where the air is clearly much better but the implication is that it's done with more plant/nature based technology rather than more chemtechy one)

[complete side note, due to the 3 years Heimer has been there my head canon for the AU is that Silco and Vander reunited over Vi's death, together they made political advacements and that after a while in Heimer arrives and gave them a boost in regards to technology]

Silco saying to the chem barons he brought them up and gave them "a taste of topside" could also be explained by

the literally moved them from the lower levels to the higher levels (either by moving them to the lanes or by making them so rich that they can live even in the areas above the Lanes, just like their meeting tower is very high up even while Silco is the one who stil lives far down) after Vander was killed because they for some reason were stuck down there

or all people that lived lower moved to the Lanes when Silco and Vander "built the lanes".

or maybe a young Silco was among the miners that convinced the Kiramann's to build the vents

Finn's line is interesting, because it doesn't sound like Silco pulled him from the mines/depths. It sounds more like he was around during Vander's time watching from the sidelines and not liking how Vander was doign things. As opposed to he lived elsewhere and was lifted up.

But he also looks a bit younger, so he has a different backstory than the others (but there's generally the problem that I think the Caitlyn files said that at least one chembaron is actually a Piltie, so wouldn't at least that guy have a different backstory than the other chem barons? so when he's giving his speech to the chem barons there's at least two people in the room to whom that speech doesn't really apply?) . After all we have the "You're too young to remember

what the undercity was before it became an "enterprise"."

So this exchange suggests:

there was a time where the Undercity was a lot more primitive and Vander does remember it but Finn is too young

but already under Vander the undercity became more like an enterprise (maybe because Vander and Silco turned the Lanes into a more smuggling/trade based economy rather than a mining/producing based one, or maybe also because of the protection money) at least in Finn's eyes, or at least he thought it had the potential to be one if run better

Another thing I find confusing is okay, so there's the region where the shimmer addicts live, right? And the implication to me was that is the bad part of Zaun? The part where the air is bad, where the lowest of the low live, that's why Jesus!Viktor goes there to make his commune.

But according to season 1, this is where Vi, Powder, Connel and Felicia lived. Ie the place where presumably all the fluffy Powder and Vi as kids memories from the Remember Me flashback take place. At first I thought maybe that place was like just a shack where maybe they just played and Felicia made the height charts, but it looks like a comparatively nice house with a staircase and ornaments?

Again, if this the shitty place of the Undercity, why would Vander and Silco's cherished friend live there when the Last Drop was available?

Benzo talks to Vander about "rounding up the collections",

Yes, just like Sevika talks about doing the same for Silco in season 2.

IMO both Silco and Vander were taking protection money. I personally think that they both can be seen as as a system of proto-taxes and it's more a question whether people got anything back from it. Maybe that's a reason why Vander seemed to be more popular with the people, if people saw it more as Vander building up infrastructure/houses for them while with Silco the money goes more towards building up factories or making weapons. (with factories likely being useful infrastructure as well, but maybe people don't see it because it's more indirect).

But that's kind of an interesting question in itself: What does Vander spend his money on? He seems to be living a well enough maybe "middle-class-y" lifestyle with his kids, but Vi certainly doesn't feel rich, hence her rants about how they have nothing compared to Pilties.

I would presume he has an income from the bar. So if he the bar money and the collection money, was is the money being spent on? Paying the guys who do the collections? Maybe they serve as guards/police against those unwanted elements that according to Jinx's season 2 line started fighting as soon as Vander was gone? But if Vander has like organized supporters, why on earth did Vi think it was a good idea to collect her kid brothers as support to spring Vander free from Silco rather than fetch whatever remaining allies Vander might have had? Or at the "guys" Benzo speaks off more like loose contractors, maybe not even particularly powerful people and people pay their taxes just out of fear of Vander?

(I have played around with the idea that maybe Vander spends the collections on more charitable things like families in need (and Silco is more the "I will build a factory that gives you employment so you can make your own money" guy) and that's why people remember him fondly. But with the whole "build the lanes" thing, maybe there's a chance that there are still building projects/they are still expanding? I think a big thing with the whole "building the lanes" in an engineering way that I just don't pictured neither Vander not Silco as that much of a construction/engineering guy, but who knows. Maybe just Zaunite ingenuity again)

[cosmicjoke]

I saw @acmeangel's analysis post on this scene, which is fantastic and which everyone should read, and I was going to add my thoughts to their post, but then it got too long (as usual), and I didn't want to hijack their analysis, so I decided to just make my own, haha. This really is an important scene which essentially encapsulates the difference between Levi and Erwin and which I think ultimately showcases what makes Levi such a genuine hero.

One of the overarching messages of AoT is that we shouldn't give up our humanity in pursuit of an ideological goal. I've talked a lot about how Levi puts his trust in Erwin and admires him so much because he sees Erwin's ability to set aside his personal feelings for the greater good as a virtuous quality, one which Levi hopes to be able to one day emulate. Levi sees Erwin as superior to himself for this ability, because Levi, no matter how hard he tries, isn't ever able to do the same. He's never able to set emotion aside. He's never able to make decisions detached from emotion. He's never able to send soldiers to their deaths without it tearing him apart and creating in him a sense of conflict. He's never quite able to convince himself that the thing these soldiers are dying for, which they choose to die for, is actually worth it, which is also why he works so hard to bring their goal to fruition. He can't accept that those lives were given in vain, but the only way to ensure that they weren't is to make their dream comes true. Because to Levi, it's their lives that have value, not the cause itself.

One of Levi's most defining traits, one which makes him stand out from basically every other character in the story, is that he has no dream of his own. Rather, he carries the dreams of others, makes himself the custodian of those dreams, and dedicates himself to their realization.

When he says in this scene that a pointless death doesn't suit anyone, what he's saying is that the cause Erwin is sacrificing soldiers for has to prove itself worthy of their lives, that it has to amount to something equal in value to those lives. Because that's the thing, Levi values life above all else. He sees each, individual life as being as important as the whole of humanity, and I think that aspect of Levi's character is demonstrated fully during the RtS arc, when he makes the choice to end Erwin's suffering. People argue and claim that Levi made the wrong choice here because they don't understand the thematic significance of it, getting caught up in speculation about whether Erwin would have been able to prevent the war between Paradis and Marley, whether Erwin would have been able to stop the Rumbling, etc... By getting caught up in that, they completely miss the point of how the story wants the audience to understand the importance of not giving up our humanity for any cause. It's trying to show us, through Levi's choice, why we can't let any cause or ideological movement turn us cruel. Levi's refusal to be cruel, his refusal to throw away his humanity, is meant to be seen as a good thing, and ultimately, ironically, it's Levi's humanity and compassion that makes him a superior man to Erwin.

Erwin tries to assuage his own guilt by telling himself that the lives given were for a cause greater than any, individual life. The cause of humanity. This is a narrative he clings to until he's forced to admit to himself that what he really was after in sending all these soldiers to their deaths was his personal pursuit of knowledge, in another attempt to assuage his guilt for the death of his father. Erwin sacrifices his humanity for a goal which is self-serving, and as he's forced to contend with that reality, his guilt grows tenfold, fracturing his psyche and self-identity. But even if his every decision had been for the so-called greater good, even if he'd been 100% dedicated to his duty as Commander, he still would have been left with a sense of guilt and self-loathing for sacrificing lives to this nebulous cause, just like Hange ultimately was, because the whole point of the contrast between Levi and Erwin is to show that, in the end, Levi is the one whom the audience should strive to emulate, not Erwin.

This moment in the story is driving home the point of choosing compassion over ideology, or even duty. Levi's choice is imperative in demonstrating to us that if we sacrifice our own, personal humanity, if we give into becoming cruel and unfeeling, if we lose sight of the very thing that drove us to wanting the world to be a better place to begin with, that being our compassion and desire to end the suffering of others, no matter how justified the cause may seem, we're essentially sacrificing humanity itself. Because it's when you start becoming cruel, for any cause, that everything turns to shit, both for ourselves and the world around us. It's cruelty that leads into justification of more cruelty, which leads into justification of atrocities. Bringing Erwin back, forcing him back into that role which was tearing him apart, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, would have been purely an act of cruelty. But Levi isn't a cruel man. He's exactly the opposite. He's a man defined by his compassion and kindness. And what is AoT advocating for if not greater compassion and kindness in the face of a cruel world? It's telling us that the kind of compassion that Levi showed to Erwin in his dying moments is how we should choose to fight against the world's injustices and cruelties.

Because all the bad things that happen in AoT, essentially, happen because of a willingness to sacrifice ones humanity for ideology or for personal, selfish desires, and because it's those of us who retain our humanity and compassion, despite the cruelty of the world, and despite any supposed duty to any professed cause, that end up being able to live, as Levi says, with no regrets. This idea of sacrificing what we know is right for some abstract, nebulous goal of a better tomorrow is what leads to the destruction and corruption of our inner selves, and that, ironically, makes a better tomorrow impossible. If we become corrupted, if we allow ourselves to be lost to this idea of the greater good, in the end, it will only continue on the cycle of destruction.

Levi never sacrifices what he believes is right, never acts in any way which goes against his conscience. He never betrays his humanity. He maintains his compassion from beginning to end, and he never wavers in what he's fighting for, which, again, is every, individual life. That's what makes Levi a hero. His inability and refusal to set his personal feelings aside is, in the end, meant to be seen as the correct course. Because Levi's personal feelings have nothing to do with a dream or a goal. They have nothing to do with an ideology or movement. They aren't rooted in self-gain or greed. His sense of duty isn't to a cause, not to a country or an empire, or a sense of retribution or revenge. His duty, his obligation, is to doing what he feels, in his heart, is the right thing, what his personal feelings tell him is the right thing, no matter the situation or circumstances, no matter, even, if it turns out to have been the right choice or not. And that ties back into Levi's extraordinary compassion and empathy. It's his compassion and empathy which dictate his personal feelings of right and wrong, and his dedication to not betraying that sense is what ultimately dictates all his choices.

Levi thought of himself as a lesser man than Erwin because of this. Because of the way he wasn't able to set his personal feelings aside in the choices he made. It's why he chose to follow Erwin, because he thought it made Erwin superior to himself. But in truth, it's that quality of Levi's, that deep seated empathy, that makes him the better man. He can't detach himself from his compassion, he can't make choices without considering the consequences and impact of those choices on others, or even without making that consideration the principle factor in his choices, and that's a good thing. That's humanity. That's what makes the world a better place. By caring about how our choices affect others. That's not meant to be seen as a bad thing. Levi's kindness and empathy isn't meant to be seen as wrong.

Levi never betrays who he is, and he never betrays what he believes in, even as everyone around him does, at one point or another. That's true strength, that's true courage, that's true heroism. Someone who cares so much about people that he can't make a choice without factoring in the thoughts, feelings and desires of those people. Levi is meant to be the audience's role model, the character we're meant to want to be more like. Not Erwin. Because no matter how noble the goal we pursue, if we stop caring about each other in that pursuit, it all becomes for naught.

[sageandred]

A Long Examination on The Progression of Min Ho's Feelings for Kitty:

This is a bunch of scattered thoughts I've had over time that all apply to the main topic. The progression of Min Ho's feelings are as follows: thinking he thinks he hates her -> dreaming about her -> she becomes his world the most significant person to him in the room and subsequently he falls in love with her leading up to the plane.

I need to talk about his feelings leading up to The Dream. When Min Ho first had his dream back in season one, it came as an utter shock to him, much like Kitty's, but the points that they are at in their relationship are very different; Kitty already saw him as a friend, but he didn't see or wouldn't admit that when he had his dream. The arrival of Kitty's dream goes back to that post analysis on how her feelings progress in emotional bonds and are generally prompted by friendship with a person, through knowing them to some extent and quality time for it to grow...while for Min Ho it's a turning point of realizing his attraction. Min Ho upon meeting her was convinced he hated her. He needed the signs he wouldn't acknowledge to the true direction of Kitty; it's the same with how Kitty was in denial about her feelings for him, but she already viewed him as a friend by the time her dream shocked her. Before Min Ho's dream, he quote, "found her annoying," but that is the very thing that initially drew him to Kitty even in moments he'd think there was any possibility (to his actions showing it) but. His reasoning for his dislike of Stella early into the season solidifies exactly what he appreciates about Kitty; "She's too nice," he says about Stella, but what is the subconsciousness of that statement is she doesn't challenge him. Also, like Kitty finds connection in emotional ties and deep feeling, Min Ho's dream, too, comes after he and Kitty bond for the first time over something vulnerable during Chuseok (both cooking (sharing their thoughts on their moms) and her extending her assistance by the bushes, which placed him in an embarrassing mishap/failure re:his date); they had these moments of seeing each other in a different light. It was a point of leading him in the right direction that, 'hey, this could be something that I never realized!'...even subconsciously.

However Min Ho actually was beginning to fall pretty instantly. Was it him bumping into her at the beginning of year party coupled with her eager spirit and ability to fight back in a verbal battle? Was it her fighting back in class and airing out his nickname without a second of hesitancy? What did it? These are all things that fall in line with her challenging him. We see more in season 2, she causes him to think differently and they have opposite thinking that lends to them helping each other in times of distress, which can grow to similar thinking patterns that ultimately helps them grow in the long run.

Following his dream, the episode 6 journey of him going from denial to acceptance was the beginning point of recognizing the inability to avoid his feelings for her, even if he wasn't ready to accept that yet (I don't think he recognized that he was unable to avoid his feelings for her or that he consciously accepted his feelings atp, but it's an unprompted moment where he's lacking control, and definitely for us as the audience to take note of for where his feelings lie). Yet, when he sees her doing 'nothing special', but talking to Dae (when he's watching her while she's completely unaware anyone is watching her & being her natural self in slow motion), it's special to him and the start of this "love of a lifetime," peaceful type of love where you can find adoration in the mundane, simple observations of just "seeing" the other person (for the real them).

[dinthoqaf]

DWC Day 1 Hypnotic/Star

( This is a day late due to being sick, so please forgive the late entry. I wanted to write something a bit different for Dinthoqaf aside from the usual holier-than-thou gloating that he tends to do. Show a side of him that is so rarely seen by others despite the small slivers and glimpses that, I feel, offer a depth to his character that so many rarely ever have the opportunity to see, feel, or imagine. A side of him that helped me fall in love with him as a character and as his potential as one as he grows. I hope this small little piece, gives you all a glimpse of that too. I would also encourage you to listen to the link provided as I hope it sets the stage for later in the shift and it's the name of the musical piece that gave the inspiration that works so well for Day 1's word. )

Silvermoon City. Despite the name her streets, even at night, remained bright like the sun in which the distant well was named for. Tonight was no different as the Bazaar just on the other end of town was positively bursting to the brim with people for the holiday of love soon to come. 'Singles Awareness' as they called it, an event Dinthoqaf had walked through to find familiar faces down on their luck to see what was going on. His intention was not to find a suitor, no, he had a lover, that stroll was to simply take advantage of heartbreak if it was possible. That though, was behind him as he stood under one of the few lampposts in Murder Row. The street was empty, primarily due to the party and event in town, but that made no mind for Dinthoqaf.

No, tonight he waited, knowing full well Zalilirah would find him as she always did. The two of them were connected, linked, in a way that many poets wrote about, young men and women dreamed of, and older lovers hinted towards. Time had no bearing on their connection, nor did time or space, and when it was hinted upon, it always got the same laughter and response from those who never quite understood it all. Dinthoqaf couldn't blame them, it was beyond them, instead, he would take those moments to laugh because it was at times, beyond his grasp in understanding too.

"And do my eyes deceive me? Such a man, alone in this streets? It must be my lucky day..." Zalilirah, The Weaver.

Dinthoqaf was a man who wore a smile amongst many, no two ever the same, but the one that grew upon his face at the sound of her voice was solely for her and her alone. The two of them often met like this, one of them beating the other, catching up about their day, moving into cheeky banter or discussions on topics to come to pass before the night grew old and they would retire. Tonight's procession moved no differently.

Finally, at the turn of the clock at midnight, the two pause for the bells toll, listening before Dinthoqaf offers his arm, much as he always did. "Time for us to make our leave of this place, I think." And as usual, Zali was quick to slipe his own wrist through the loop provided as a void-like portal tore open before them for the two to depart The Row.

What came next wasn't their home though.

Planned, possibly for weeks, months, as materials were gathered, stars were studied, and astromancers and astrologers alike were consulted. Dinthoqaf's standard white, black, and golden attire fades, disappearing in a falling of dust just to unravel to expose a near identical copy of the first tailored suit Zalilirah had gotten him all those years ago when he led his kin from the Sunken Temple out into the world, to become the Headmaster of the Sanctum. Black tailored silks and wool adorned his features in the same quality she'd demand from any tailor with her own orders. His vest, a royal purple that shimmered atop a long tie of matching hues and a blackened button-up shirt to follow. Even the jewelry to adorn him was of polished silver and held amethyst stones that seemed to go far deeper than the settings they sat upon. Zalilirah herself was not spared in this as the mental picture of her came into play with his magics. Her dress, as elegant as she loved them to be, began to fall away only to be replaced with the same violet hues that were akin to Dins own. Silver threads weaving intricately with the care that came at no expense saved to make sure she got exactly what he remembered her in all those years ago when they had been sworn to one another. Her Defiler and his Weaver. Her hair swirled and moved, lifting from her neck and curling as various silver strands and gems appointed themselves atop her crown and features.

No words were needed, there never really were, only moments to fill the silence to distract themselves from the evening's affairs, but now, they were as far away from them as... Well. Azeroth itself.

Beneath their feet where there should have been the stonework of their home and portal way, was now a vast emptiness of The Great Beyond. Azeroth pulls away as Dinthoqaf offers over a bare hand for her to take.

Each step either would make causes ripples, akin to water, to run across the surface they stood upon. Planets, foreign or known and seen, pull through the scenery as he smiles at her. There was no one else in all the rest of the world that mattered at this moment but the woman he put an arm around. Their steps begin as their bodies shift and spin and in a few simple steps, they dance.

Suns flare with light on some distant horizon in the Great Beyond as Nebula's wink, gas giants and clouds spin and flutter, eaten and devoured by black holes, and amongst it all, the only star he could be bothered with noticing was the one he held in his hands at this moment. Their motions come as a rogue comet flies by, her frame losing golden dust and sediment across the dancefloor that swirls and twists about their feet that soon spins off into the cosmos beyond. Then, as the night begins to wrestle into the wee hours of the morning. The stars too begin to fade and all goes dark as a singular star offers its last breaths of light upon the two of them.

Worlds would burn or drown before he would let her go.

( @zalilirah for obvious reasons )

[kitconnor]

WORKING WITH YOUTUBE QUALITY - HOW TO GET THE BEST RESULTS

helloooo, i recently feel as though i have found the key when it comes to dealing with youtube quality and i thought it was worthwhile sharing! i'm finding that when you're stuck with 1080p videos only, (although there is a lot more 4k downloads these days, thankfully) the quality is pretty poor. BUT, this is speaking exclusively about the quality of youtube 1080p - if you use a site such as sharemania, that's usually acceptable and good quality and doesn't deliver poor results.

but alas, this is about youtube, so let's get into it! this process will simply go over all the ins and outs of working with youtube quality, and will not look into the entire giffing process. i'll be using photoshop 2025, but it should work on any version!

Download your video.

firstly, start by downloading your video with 4k video downloader. (<- this will lead directly to a dl of 4k video downloader if you don't have it already! link is all safe and official <3) i can't really think of any other downloader because i haven't used any apart from this one. it's safe and secure and does a really good job.

you'll want to choose the 1080p option that is the BIGGER file amount. not every video will have that, but i believe that the bigger file size is the youtube premium 1080p. take what you can get with them 😭

2. Load frames, crop, convert to smart object...

just get your normal prep work done! make sure to leave out sharpening. you should essentially just be here:

(if my process looks a bit odd or if, on the other hand, you'd like to know my process, you can check that here.)

3. sharpening.

THIS is the point that changes how your youtube file comes out. often times, you'll find the gif comes out with chunks, squares and overall poor quality. kind of like if i used my regular sharpening:

chunky! gross! trashy! i'm seeing too many pixels and things aren't looking the right way that i'd like. (tbh, it's not the worst i've seen - but you can definitely notice when there's light.) if i went on as it is now and continued to colour it, it would continue to look bad.

so, here's what you'll do.

i use multiple sharpening actions, for different purposes: one for hq downloads, so any movies, tv or downloaded/4k music videos, one making icons and the other for lower quality media and photos. the one that i typically use for youtube quality is @/anyataylorjoy's sharpening action (which many gifmakers use, so i wouldn't be surprised if you do already have it!) which is what you'll use. apply the action, using the 'sharper' lot.

^ that's the settings.

4. sharpening pt 2. (noise)

now, you'll need to add noise to offset how harsh the rest of the gif still comes up.

apply these exact settings onto the gif and ensure that monochromatic is enabled.

sometimes, 2% noise might make it look worse, or not be enough. i personally wouldn't go to anything more than 3%, (i don't think you'll ever want to use 3%) and wouldn't go lower than 1%.

it's grainy looking at the moment, just as is. from here, i'll colour it, and then if i think it's no good, i'll go back and clear the noise filter and toggle it. that's just how the process works, don't stress if it doesn't always go your way 😭 that's just gifmaking!

here's the final product!

and here's another example too, i know this one has a lot going on colour wise, so it can be good to look at it working on something with less bright colours:

as compared to before! before shows the gif was really smooth, as compared to in chappell's, were the lighting was just kind of messing with everything. you're more likely to come across videos that are that weird smooth quality, so i'd say that 7 times out of 10 you'll be applying these settings to something more along the lines of doechii's!

the before :)

[bartender-husk]

"I would hope so. Carelessly being her friend or warming up to her without thinking it throught first, could end up just being an insult to Mikado. Similar to how if Aiguo had lived and Mikado warmed up to him despite what he did to ya because of his unpredictability. See why it'd be an insult? He ended up in a situation where he could have either died or a slave to a different sinner. And yeah... Al is a hard one to read, you would be lucky if you ever saw him frown. I think i lost to him because i couldn't get a read on him unlike with my other opponents, i could always at least find something to figure out if they had a good or bad hand based on habits... But not Al, there wasn't a thing i could use. Huh, he took a liking to Lishu? Glad to hear he's starting to let people in more."

Xander came back with a bunch of materials, a lot of it was the best quality you could find, he didn't forget the blueprint either. He was carrying it using what looked like red leaves hovering in the air.

A sinner was walking up Monokuma, looking at him with a creepy smile and a keen interest.

"Hello Monokuma, it's been some time. I'm here for a reason heheh, i'm sure this will interest you too or at least make you happy to some extent. It's about Mikado."

Not too far away, Husk caught up with the lady.

"Hey, get back here you fuckin- geez. Sorry bud, i saw her lurking around and tried stopping her."

Now what was going on?

@bartender-husk

"Don't worry too much, Husk. Its fine. Let's give her a chance. So, who exactly are you anyway and what do you know about Mikado?" @bartender-husk

[limielle]

complexity

[necrotic-nephilim]

i personally have very complicated feelings on the Gotham Knights video game and the routes it takes with characterization. i think it has a charm to it and it goes in an interesting direction with everyone (especially within the confides of the plot of the game) but it does have certain moments that veer painfully fanon for me. (such as: the dialogue where Tim drinks too much coffee) it's an interesting story for what it is but i don't view it comics-based for characterization and therefore don't care to interact with it much for like. fanfic purposes.

that *said* though. i do have to give the game some kind of credit for giving one of the top five JayTim moments that lives rent free in my mind. every since i played the game, the cutscene lives in my mind daily. it's the specific cutscene where Jason and Tim are arguing about whether or not Jason's non-lethal bullets are too dangerous for the field, and the argument leads to TIm *standing in front of the target* Jason is shooting and telling Jason to shoot him. it lives rent free for me. i never stop thinking about this.

the absolute certainty Tim has that he is in no danger standing in front of Jason, who has a loaded gun pointed at his face. the way Jason *hesitates* for just a moment before lowering the gun. he thinks about it for just a second. Gotham Knights JayTim seem to get along very well and can rely on each other, but Jason still clearly holds a bitterness about his death and Tim that flickers through in some lines of dialogue under the guise of jokes. especially since this game deals *heavily* with concepts of Pit Madness causing an altered state of consciousness, i think it's believable that occasionally, Jason fights the urge to fight and hurt Tim for the feeling of being replaced.

i like their tension so much in this canon. they get along but you can *tell* Tim is afraid of addressing Jason's trauma or even addressing Jason head-on, and Jason leans into spooking Tim about it. which isn't very comics feeling in their dynamic, but it is an interesting way to place their dynamic if you're playing with a more timid Tim who's newer to the role of Robin. (which he seems to be in-game) he really doesn't want to offend Jason, or worse, piss him off. but he'll still face Jason head on for things like this, while completely aware of what Jason could be capable of.

and Jason seems very protective of Tim and respecting Tim as a Robin in typical Jason fashion. if Tim pushes, Jason *will* relent. he knows this is a kid who's proved himself and should be treated with equal respect, sometimes even more than Dick and Babs do in-game.

so for all that to culminate in Tim stepping in front of Jason's loaded gun that he *knows* is on the edge of being too dangerous, just to force Jason to listen? it's the most unhinged way Tim could've gotten his point across in this scene. he was literally daring Jason to hurt him and playing with a very dangerous fire. but he did it anyway bc he believed he could make Jason heel just at the thought of hurting Tim. and he was *right*. they're gay and i'm feral ty.

[thisisadonaldduckblognow]

all the rise boys get done dirty on characterization by fandom in different ways i think. (not ALL the time every fanwork etc etc these are just like, trends i tend to notice?) every fandom suffers from losing character nuance.

- leo i’ve talked about plenty on this blog, how some of his canon traits (genuine belief in his skill and cockiness, capacity for joy, his manipulativeness whether for good or ill) seem to get watered down or wiped off the board and supplemented with generic sad boy. his struggles with purpose and identity and not wanting to fail somehow morph into “he hates and completely holds no value for himself”

- donnie’s canon personality gets blurred out and largely replaced with whatever list of Neurodivergent Traits. and i think there’s such a fine line to walk between exploring a character that’s been word of god confirmed as on the spectrum and overwriting what’s canonically there. it’s a hard needle to thread. it also feels like a lot of his canon emotiveness gets left off the table for some reason. bc he does have his moments of flat/deadpan delivery, but a lot of the time he’s honestly very emotive. he has the passion of a theatre kid and the vindictiveness of... also a theatre kid. and the mind of a scientist.

- raph loses so much of his rowdy teen boy energy it’s kind of wild? like interpretations sand off that he’s also impulsive and can be reckless and dumb and LOVES fighting and roughhousing and isn’t the most eloquent person. suddenly there’s this pitch perfect soft boy big bro who would never hurt a fly and always says the exact right supportive thing and singlehandedly raised his 3 brothers (which simultaneously sands off all the nuance of splinter’s issues emotionally connecting with his sons and how that affected all of them). and like i LOVE raph, he’s so full of love and care and anxiety, he clearly has learned to put a lot of work into being aware of his strength and size. but there’s a difference you know?

- mikey is like. where raph gets overparentified by fanon, mikey gets over “family therapist”-ed IMO. the impulsiveness, the goofiness, the powerful emotions including a VERY powerful temper, the flat-out dumb teen boy choices... they get ignored. suddenly there’s this only very sweet and earnest boy who has read a hundred psychology books and runs group family therapy weekly or something. he is crying in his room bc leo and raph are arguing about something. which is so. he IS very sweet and can be very earnest and is full of love! he HAS come in with his opinions and unsolicited advice a couple of times and life coached for the greater good. but there’s a difference between what he does in canon and the role he gets in fanon.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

[doctorsiren]

Felt like some simple painting today

[softdrabbles]

some days were harder than others when it came to the spreading of misinformation and tabloid lies, depending on what kind of story they decided to run on her that week. charlotte knew the people that mattered most to her were aware of what was going on in her life and offered her support when she needed it. she had a strong support system and it was something she was grateful to have. at times she would steal glances at tatum, watching them work, flying under the radar so easily, wishing that she had that level of anonymity at times. when tatum's application had come through to her, she was intrigued to say the least. they were the only one, like her, that had come from a small town and it was clear the moment they met her just how down to earth and professional they were. it wasn't something that was common in the industry and she knew they'd be the perfect fit for her team.

charlotte's cheeks ached from the constant smiling at tatum's playful teasing. she couldn't remember the last time she genuinely felt so light and playful. it really was a nice and a needed change from the seriousness that could be the day to day of her life. it seemed like sometimes she forgot to just have fun. "you're home for no more than twenty minutes and suddenly you're very bold," charlotte teased, continuing to laugh at their comments before taking a pillow from the bed and tossing it at them, "you may not believe this but i was quite the climber as a kid and i am not afraid to take necessary actions to reach that diary and steal it from you." it wouldn't exactly be the first time she'd thought of climbing them, not that she would ever dare admit that. charlotte had always prided herself on being professional but it was hard not to be at least a little attracted to them, she was only human. everything so far felt a little too easy, like they'd always been this way around each other and charlotte could only put it down to the fact that she was comfortable around them, their space.

an eyebrow cocked playfully as charlotte listened to tatum's spiel about the quality of their services. the woman's lips curled, her eyes locked on them amused and thoroughly entertained by what she was hearing from them. her mind couldn't help but wander as their words seemed to imply something a little different. "because personal assistant services are in such high demand in this town, right?" she teased, her eyes narrowing, "you seem so confident about the fact you haven't had complaints, it's something that is quite reassuring to know. it's just a shame.." oh she was leaning right into it now, "all i seem to be hearing is i'm not getting the full benefits of your services and quite frankly, i don't think that's acceptable or good enough. you talk a big game, cowboy but at some point, i expect to be properly compensated." tatum's confidence, even when just being playful was something else. she'd seen glimpses before while they worked but that was different. this wasn't tatum her assistant and she was quickly realising this was a person she wanted to get to know.

as the teasing died down and conversation turned to her non-existent love life, tatum's words caused her to genuinely smile back at them, her eyes softly lingering to study the features of their face. charlotte already knew that whoever it was that captured tatum's heart was going to be extremely lucky. the fact that they were willing to commit a crime for her just to be able to stay in the country regardless they were getting paid said more to charlotte about the type of person tatum was than anything else. she admired them in so many ways but could never find the right words that expressed that. a chuckle escaped her, "i'd love to know where they are because i'd really like to make someone feel happy and loved," again she chuckled, this time shaking her head, slightly embarrassed to be admitting something so personal to an employee, "sorry, i know that probably sounds really lame." tatum's reminder that it was currently them brought her out of her thoughts, "should we discuss boundaries? i mean, as an actor i'm open to doing whatever it is necessary to make this genuine and believable. i wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"it doesn't need to be flashy. at my core, i'm just a small town girl so the barn sounds perfect." charlotte couldn't stop the laugh that escaped her, "they sound a lot like the people i grew up around." if that were true, she knew just how easy it was to become attached and it wasn't something she could allow herself to do. their situation was only temporary and giving these people false hope she'd continue to be around didn't sit well with her. "and don't think i'm letting your embarrassing stories slide either, i'm very persuasive."

it was hard not to notice the way their body positively reacted to her agreeing to go out with them. tatum's genuine dimpled smile left her feeling as if she was melting into a puddle, her cheeks warming at the comment they had made agreeing that she was cute. something stirred within her and she bit down on her lip to attempt to hide the shy smile that threatened her lips. charlotte knew she didn't have to say anything, that the reaction of her body said it all as her eyes lingered on them for a moment. "nope. no. you don't get out of it that easily because i would like to know exactly what kinds of things you got up to. i'm here to learn as much about you as possible and i plan to do just that." with a nod, charlotte watched them grab some fresh clothes from the closet, "i can manage that," she beamed at them playfully before they left.

with tatum out of the room, charlotte made her way to her suitcase to look for an outfit that would be comfortable and fitting to wear. this really was her chance to get back to her roots and wear something that tatum didn't usually see her in. it was cute, it was casual. as she made her way to the bathroom that attached to their room, her eyes caught a glimpse of photographs, clearly of tatum in high school with their friends. their dimpled smile practically beamed at the camera. they looked so happy, so carefree and it warmed her heart. gently she pushed her hair back behind her ear as she read the acknowledgements they'd received, prizes they had won. a part of her felt bad for dragging them into her mess. they were far too good for that. the other part of her liked that she was able to be so close to such an incredibly selfless person. she hadn't even realised she'd been smiling at the pictures, she reached out to brush her hand over the glass.

noticing she had been caught up in the moment, she quickly carried on to the bathroom to freshen up. after a little deliberation, charlotte finally settled on a casual pair of jeans and a cream knitted sweater, pulled together with a pair of boots. as she grabbed her things to leave she noticed a brown jacket hanging in the closet and she couldn't help but try it on. it was a little big but it looked perfect with her outfit. it smelled of tatum and that comforted her as she made her way downstairs to find them waiting for her, looking incredibly handsome. with a shy smile, she made her way over to them, grazing her hand across their back, letting it linger there, "you ready, babe?"

Charlotte's words made sense. Tatum had seen it firsthand while working for the brunette. Lies were so easily spread about the actress; rumours came out of nowhere, and people simply filled in the gaps when it came to parts of her life that weren't public. There was no escaping it. All Charlotte could do was ignore it and simply carry on with her life. Tatum figured that that was easier said than done—it always was. Before accepting the job offer, Tatum hadn't really taken much interest in Hollywood. The rich and famous wasn't a crowd they saw themselves mingling in. That, of course, changed quickly; they were essentially paid to do it. After seeing how Charlotte was treated, especially by her so-called fans, Tatum had a newfound respect for those in show business. 

"That's exactly what I'm doing," Tatum kept up the light-hearted banter. It was nice to see Charlotte relax. Tatum couldn't help but feel a sense of smugness; they hadn't seen Charlotte this calm and herself in a long time. There was no façade or false persona she needed to put on here. Tatum had seen the brunette at her worst, but God, was she captivating at her best. "Just next to all your appointments, I make sure to draw tiny little stick figures or short people accommodations that they will have to make. The best thing is, now that you know, it's not like you can reach to take the diary off of me." Most people wouldn't dare to tease their boss in this manner, and usually Tatum kept their comments tame. But there was something about this setting that changed the dynamic, at least for Tatum. Even though they weren't actually in a romantic relationship, somehow the pretending was starting to blur the professional lines.

"What?!" Tatum piped up in a playfully dramatic tone. "My services are great, thank you. In fact, they are the best, the talk of the town. I've never had any complaints about my services; you've just not experienced them properly." There had been an intentional, flirtatious hidden meaning behind their words. Now that they had been put out into the world, Tatum quickly hoped that Charlotte wouldn't catch on. Tatum shifted a little, arms awkwardly folding across their chest. They had allowed things to get a little too relaxed. At least Tatum could play it off as method acting; they wouldn't be acting like the assistant/boss if they were actually engaged.

"Of course you deserve it; everybody does." While Tatum wasn't a 'love at first sight' kind of person, they definitely believed in true love. There were people out there made for you; it was just, unfortunately, some went their entire lives without finding them. Tatum was picky. There was always something wrong with the person they dated, giving them the excuse to cut ties. There's no point in settling and being unhappy, they would say as friends would roll their eyes. Tatum figured that Charlotte had very different reasonings to be put off when it came to dating. "There's someone perfect out there for you, someone who can easily handle all the glitz and glamour of the rich and famous. Right now, that person is me, at least that's what we need people to believe." A part of Tatum felt a quick spark of both jealousy and protectiveness at the thought of Charlotte dating. Tatum immediately shut the lid on that thought, pushing it back to the dark depths of their brain to never see daylight again. 

"We can do that, but nothing flashy, not in this town. We can just host something small in the barn. All my family and friends will care about is if there's alcohol involved." The people in Tatum's life were simple with simple pleasures. Box wine and cheap beer were enough for them all to have a great night that went deep into the early hours. 

As Charlotte accepted the offer of drinks that evening, Tatum adjusted their posture, straightening their back. A genuine smile plastered over their face, "the difference is while this town isn't cute, you're not boring." There had been a compliment there that Tatum hoped Charlotte would catch on to. "You really don't want to know what I got up to as a teenager. We have to leave some things as a mystery in our relationship. Now, get ready because I'm taking you out." Tatum moved towards the closet, pulling out some clothes before they left the room. Leaving Charlotte alone to get ready in private.

After showering in the main bathroom and changing into a simple pair of pants and a casual shirt, Tatum was ready. Tatum headed downstairs, waiting for Charlotte so they could leave.

[lazycranberrydoodles]

woe mundane monopoly headcanons be upon ye

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